Posts Tagged ‘driver’

Hands-Free? Free to Do What, Spank Your Monkey? SFPD Says Porsche Driver’s Phone Sex Causes Collision with Tree

Tuesday, May 5th, 2015

I would Like this SFPD Facebook entry, but I don’t know how! (Isn’t that sad?)

Anyway, make up your own jokes here:

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INJURY TRAFFIC COLLISION
MLK & Chain of Lakes (Golden Gate Park)
04-25-2015 4:12 AM
A Porsche was traveling eastbound on MLK at an unsafe speed when the driver ran off the road and collided with a tree. He told officers that he was having a phone conversation of a sexual nature (it’s unknown whether this conversation was hands free as required by the vehicle code). He suffered major injuries and major damage to his car. He was cited for speeding and for driving with a suspended license.

Our SFMTA “Blocks The Box” – Hey MUNI, Don’t Block The Box – Hey SFMTA, Let’s Teach You How to Not Block The Box

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

This was the scene about halfway through the green phase for traffic to head north from 3rd Street across Market. The MUNI artic got stuck due to peds crossing Market on the east side of the intersection:

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Is this against CA law? Yes. Should the MUNI operator have gotten a ticket? Yes.

Is the SFMTA perfect the way it (apparently) thinks it is? No. And should MUNI operators have better training and a robust carrot and stick program to encourage better behavior? Yes.

Driving Etiquette: Rolls Royce Owner in the Western Addition Goes About with Pinkie Finger Upraised, As If Drinking Tea

Monday, April 27th, 2015

I’m not sure what Brocephus here was doing – he might have been eating an Egg McMuffin or he might have actually been drinking tea. This is the only shot I have, so I suppose I’ll never know:

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No matter, his left pinkie was upraised, scoring mad baller points.

Proper!

Here’s How the SFMTA’s COMMUTER SHUTTLE PILOT is Going – Corinthian IPS “Staging” in a Bus Stop – Leather vs. Pleather

Monday, April 27th, 2015

Here’s a snapshot of our SFMTA’s corporate bus 18-month pilot deal.

It’s a “Corinthian International Parking Services” truckvanbus blocking a 21 Hayes MUNI bus (and even though this might look like one vehicle with an articulated bend in the middle, you’re seeing two different vehicles parked nose-to-tail):

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Sort of blocking, anyway.

(Now I’ll tell you, I’m in my 40’s, so I know all about Corinthian and its soft leather courtesy of Ricardo Montalban – this truckvanbus has gotta be totally pimped out on the inside with a name like Corinthian on the outside. Compare that with the MUNI bus with its pleather (at best!) driver’s seat and hard plastic surfaces for the passengers. And any wood you see inside a MUNI is unlikely to have been claimed in the first place, much less reclaimed.  MUNI buses aren’t baller at all.)

Now, where was I? Oh, here we go, it turns out that the Corinthian IPS driver was “staging,” you know, just chilling out waiting for the time to move on. You can see the Windex he’s holding as he TCBs shortly after the MUNI bus moved on:

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Point One: I, for one, would be afraid of getting a parking ticket via MUNI’s forward-facing video cams, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness, in deference to America’s Slowest Big City Transit System.

Point Two: Also, it just seems rude to sit there blocking the stop, so I would have gotten in the trackvanbus and then simply have driven around the block with a quickness.

Point Three: Staging in a designated MUNI stop is specifically against the rules. [See below.]

So, on it goes with the pilot program, which sure as Heck seems to me to be agin current California law.

I’m not calling 311 to report the SFMTA pilot number to be put on hold forever the way The Man wants me to, I’m just updating you, the Gentle Reader.

(And I’ll tell you, this is small potatoes compared with Facebook double-parking on Masonic day after day.)

And BTW, our SFMTA is in complete denial about whose employees /contractors are riding around in which bus – I guess they’re under a lot of corporate pressure…

Read on for all the rules of this game:

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The Largest Rear-View Mirror I’ve Ever Seen on a Porsche

Monday, April 20th, 2015

To review.

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The first rule of Car Club is KEEP IT STOCK

And The second rule of Car Club is, similarly, KEEP IT STOCK as well…

How Would You Like to Drive This Long Long Interstate Bus and Trailer Combo Around SF – Another Band Arrives at The Fillmore

Friday, April 17th, 2015

Narrow streets and hills are to be avoided, of course:

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This MUNI Bus Operator Drives Over The Line, a Solid Yellow Line, on Fulton – Why That’s a Good Thing

Wednesday, April 15th, 2015

As you’re reading, enjoy some Crystal Method:

When you’re getting about the mean Streets of San Francisco, you should imagine that every driver you encounter is an uninsured, recently-released felon who’s driving an unregistered vehicle. That’s how I’ve been doing it the past quarter-century.

Conversely, when you’re driving, you should imagine that all the peds around you are suicidal. That means that you should expect them to dart out from the sidewalk right into your path.

So if you’re looking at things that way, then it makes sense to stay Hell away from sidewalks.

Thusly. All the way up* Ignatious Heights on outbound Fulton past Masonic:

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I’m not saying it’s easy to safely drive an MUNI bus, but I’m saying some drivers are better than others. This driver lacks respect for the SFMTA’s ideologically and politically-skewed impulses, as do I.

Remember, Safety First, Ideologically-Driven “Streetscapes” Last.

*And just look at the traffic coming down the hill – does anybody actually use the suicide lane to turn into the dead-end that is USF, seen camera right? (Maybe USF Security does?) Man, this isn’t how I would handle this stretch of Futon. And, oh yes, SFMTA, you should add a traffic signal on Clayton so the USF dormies can get to their inbound #5 Fulton bus stop, but you already know that, don’t you, SFMTA?

SF Paratransit Vans Now [DO NOT] Have the Name of the Driver on the Side, As If They Were Fighter Jets?

Tuesday, April 14th, 2015

[UPDATE: Hoo boy, I’ve just discovered the red circles on the sides of these vans are to honor those “who helped make paratransit possible” – see Comments. My bad. But seriously, I thought regular drivers had their names stamped on the side to give them more pride in work, to encourage them to drive and park more safely. (Of course, I still think that’s a good idea, even if the drivers wouldn’t like it…)]

Well, this kind of thing should be mandatory for Toyota Prius drivers:

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And Interim Mayor Ed Lee’s Chevy Volt should have this too, the better to spot when it’s double parked.

If I were a driver, I’d ask for a radio call sign like Maverick, Goose, or Jester…

Ferguson MO, 94117 – In St. Louis County, Expired Car Registration Costs $30, But in SF It’s $117 + $117 + $117 + $117 + $117…

Friday, April 10th, 2015

Here’s St. Louis County with its $30 tickets

…and here’s San Francisco – for this ride from Oakland with tabs expired less than six months, the cost is $117 + $117 + $117 + $117 + $117:

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Do you think the SFMTA “makes money” from issuing citations and towing cars? Should it?

Why are the tickets $117 – why shouldn’t they be $517 or 1517?

IDK.

Uber X + Prius C = Driving North on Southbound Laguna in J-Town? A Questionable But Giddy Five-Star Drive in Uber #7FGU886

Monday, April 6th, 2015

On Laguna Street looking south over Post towards Geary with the Chinese consulate on the left in the background:

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You see that? An impatient Prius driver simply went around all those cars heading north by pulling into the southbound lane. Then the driver turned left onto Post westbound to drop off her fares:

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Now normally with Prius drivers, you gotta wonder about their situational awareness, about whether they know what they’re doing, but in this case, the driver knows what she was doing. She was line jumping to save about a minute or so, hahaha!

Oh, and of course, she’s works for / contracts with Uber:

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I’ll tell you, the reason why taxis have “paint schemes” and giant numbers painted on the side is for situations like this….