When I first heard the neologism Chief Resilience Officer, I figured things out pretty quickly – I thought about earthquakes in the 415, fine.
And then I thought, “What’s the angle? How does this concept put money into the pockets of the members of San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown’s political faction / machine?”
And I couldn’t think of an angle, so I thought maybe this could be a rare case of SFGov just trying to do its job, you know, sans politique.
And then I looked into it and came away mostly disappointed. I’ll tell you why below.
But you reporters out there should get on this new CRO business – it’s terra incognita, locally. [UPDATE: Whoops, I missed this one.]
So here it is:
“Meet San Francisco’s Patrick Otellini, the world’s first Chief Resilience Officer.“
And here’s his headshot:
And here’s the rah rah SFGov, born-and-raised blather, redolent of Supervisor Mark Farrell:
“I am unapologetically pro-San Francisco. Four generations of my family currently live here and I love this city. San Francisco’s work regarding resilience has been substantial. This work has been developed by the community just as much as it has been by City Hall.”
Is Dude running for office? It sure seems that way. But IRL, SF is the most corrupt big American city west of Chicago, so how does that square, cadre? STRIKE ONE. Moving on…
And oh no, SPUR! Is Dude a member of SPUR, that infamous outfit responsible for Urban Renewing the Fillmore, you know, because it was the trendy thing to do at that time? Take a look:
“San Francisco Planning and Urban Research (SPUR) released a report called ‘Resilient Cities’ a few years ago, which has become the roadmap for resiliency planning in San Francisco.”
Turns out that Dude is a card-carrying Member of SPUR. STRIKE TWO.
And what does this Brownie-you‘re-doing-a-heck-of-a-job-type job pay? Like how many hundreds of thousands of dollars per year? The answer is two:
“Total pay & benefits: $183,397.91.”
More or less. I mean, that was Dude’s pay package last year when he was only Director of Earthquake Safety, so you gotta figure he’s gotten a big bump to go along with the new CRO title, right? What’s that, not really? He’s still just another SFGov MANAGER IV but now with a shiny new title? OK fine, it’s old wine in a new bottle. Let’s call that BALL ONE.
But what’s this, IRL what you are actually is a long-time, politically-connected “building permit consultant and expediter?” Mmmm… STRIKE THREE!
Speaking of which:
|OTELLINI PAUL MR., INTEL CORP., CEO, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123
|OTELLINI PAUL MR., INTEL CORP., PRESIDENT, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123
|OTELLINI PAUL, INTEL, CEO, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123
|OTELLINI PAUL, INTEL, CEO, SANTA CLARA, CA 95054
|OTELLINI PAUL, NONE, RETIRED, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123
|OTELLINI SANDY, N/A, RETIRED – ATTORNEY, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94123
Which then yields this. [Welcome to Scion Country Safari, Africa USA.]
So, Brownie, bring on the earthquake-related ruckus, bring on the blather, the Newspeak, fine. Maybe you’ll be appointed Supervisor, and then maybe Mayor, someday.
But be sure to count your lucky stars, to say your prayers every night to Thank Goodness you live in a town where Scion/Expediter is a career path…