The San Francisco Citizen

Full-service public relations and public affairs consultancy Hill and Knowltonannounced today that former vice president Al Gore, upon his death, will be encased in carbonite and then buried. This type of carbon capture and sequestration (CCS) was only made possible this year through the use of nanotechnology.

Until recently this was our understanding of carbonite, made famous in Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back:

“By the rules of chemical nomenclature, the formula for a “carbonite anion” would be CO22-, which is thought to be an impossible formation (methanoate being preferentially formed instead).”

Impossible no longer.

Artist’s conception of the former vice president encased in the densest form of carbon known to man:

Just one treatment of this double carbon material will take the equivalent of 1200 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. The only downside will be the expense of a slightly oversized coffin. The upside is that Al Gore, Jr. will be the most severely carbon negative person in recorded history.

A relieved Hill & Knowlton spokesperson confided to one reporter that this announcement will lay to rest the controversy over the greenhouse emissions of Al Gore’s house, for some reason an issue of almost daily concern to the D.C.-based House of Flack.

If only Han Solo were alive to see this day…

After last night’s Earth Hour of partial darkness from 8:00-9:00 PM, the lights on the “architectural necklace” of the western span of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge came back to life on the north side first. (Unfortunately, didn’t get a look at the troubled eastern span last night - it was probably darkened also.) 

You can get the idea of the effect of Earth Hour 2008 in San Francisco by looking at these before and after shots of the Ferry Building taken by talented local photographer Mona Brooks.  

The lights on the suspension cables of the western span of one of the busiest bridges in the world are just for decoration, not for navigation safety or whatever. Pretty. They sure make a big difference to the look of San Francisco at night when they are turned off.

Question: Turning off these decorative lights for an hour saves enough electricity to power Al Gore’s house (his actual house, not his San Francisco condo in SOMA that’s visible on the right) for how many minutes?

Answer: About 13 minutes. Let’s work on that math, after the jump.

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