Posts Tagged ‘euros’

How Old People Have Fun in the Outer Sunset: Posing for Photos – As Seen at 46th and Judah

Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Look up this photo yourself on the street view, if you want. This is right across the street from Trouble Coffee:

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He held this pose for a while.

Now let’s travel to Europe, where this kind of thing has gotten out of hand:

They had heard the mapping vehicle was in their tiny town that day, so they set up lounge chairs to sit while waiting. The whole sequence of photos is amusing. You should check it out, Gentle Reader

So-Called World Capital of Innovation Can’t Seem to Solve the Bedbug Problem – Here’s the Letter You Will Get

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

You know, after you been bitten hundreds of times by bedbugs, which, you know, are all over the place in San Francisco. Still.

Like at your hotel, dear Visitor.

Like, I don’t know, did the Hotel Whitcomb,change its name owing to some issue with bedbugs?

The old Ramada is now the new Whitcomb. But it’s still the same place:

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Oh, here we go:

Downtown Bedbug Attack Costs Ramada $71,000

(I don’t know if I’d call this area “downtown,” but anywho, wow.)

Now, let’s hear from Kris Betz, Hotel Whitcomb Director of Operations, to get a (somewhat) canned response to a relatively recent allegation of infestation:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

I don’t know, man, I feel sorry for the Euros what stay at this place. They’re pretty much all gorgeous,* in-shape,* natural blond(e)s,* who just want to have fun in the 415, you know, they just want to pose for photos with big American police cars and fire trucks and stuff like that and what’s so wrong with that?

I feel sorry for them when they get shot and killed on Mason in Union Square or run over and killed by drunk drivers on Masonic or bitten 400 times by bedbugs during one stay.

I kind of feel that we’re letting these people down. I feel we’re shirking our obligations to our tourists. 

If I were Director of Operations at Hotel Whitcomb, I would engage in total war with the bedbugs.

And I wouldn’t write “Dear Guest” letters what discuss possibilities and evidence.

Just saying.

*Unlike me.

Mid-Market Update: Euro Family of Tourists Victimized Right in Front of the Former “Run Ed Run” Headquarters

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

I can count three SFPD radio cars and there were more about the area of 6th and Market this AM, just after another family of Eurotourists got victimized.

See? 

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Can you recall last year when Mayor Ed Lie had his campaign HQ in the Mid-Market to prove some point about something?

It looked like this:

Can you match up the photos?

What did Ed Lee Gets It Done actually get done here?

Oh, and our previous mayor also had a political HQ in this area not too long ago.

Check it:

Prospective Twitter Landlord Gave Newsom Rent Deal

On it goes in San Francisco’s corrupt Twitterloin.

Anyway, sorry Euros.

Brace Yourselves, Gordon Ramsay’s HOTEL HELL Show is Coming – Big Ad on Market Street, How Apropro

Monday, August 13th, 2012

Famed restaurateur Gordon Ramsay is moving on from restaurants to hotels starting today – HOTEL HELL debuts tonight on the Fox.

Check it:

If [hotels] suggest they will upgrade you to the honeymoon suite, don’t take it. I’m trying to be serious because it is somewhat shocking. I just didn’t think it could shoot that far. I’m talking about if you shake a can of Coke and open it.” 

OK fine.

Actually, GR, I was thinking that bed bugs might belong at the top of the list.

Market Street, USA:

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But, hey Gordo, are you going to come to the 415? We need you here.

Speaking of Market Street and bed bugs, here’s what the Hotel Whitcomb (renamed from Ramada Plaza not too long ago because of a massive lawsuit  involving bed bugs and ballyhoo) will send out to you if you report dozens of bites on your porcelain skin:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

That’s how we roll in San Francisco’s corrupt Mid Market Twitterloin.

So sure, you’re covered in bites, but:

1. You probably got bitten somewhere else, not at Hotel Whitcomb!

2. Or maybe you’re just making things up, maybe you’re insane! 

3. Or maybe you’re not insane but you’re a criminal who wants to shake us down for, I don’t know, another big fat $71,000 judgment / settlement!

4. Or maybe you did encounter bed bugs in one of our rooms, but probably you didn’t experience any discomfort, right? Kind of a no harm no foul kind of thing!

5. And, in any event, our rooms are clean. Did I mention that before? Our rooms are clean. Can I mention this fact four times in five sentences? YES I CAN!

Save us, Gordon Ramsay.

Does It Still Have Bedbugs? Hotel Whitcomb (or Hotel Whit.Com) nee Ramada Plaza at 8th and Market

Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

So there I was out getting exercise by getting those Billy Elliot rush tickets at the Orpheum Theatre* and I noticed the new name for this old hotel.

See? I totally read that as Hotel Whit.Com, ’cause, you know, I’m not hooked up right:

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But then I thought, oh, the Hotel Whitcomb, is that the place where they might have changed the name owing to some issue with bedbugs?

Oh, here we go:

Downtown Bedbug Attack Costs Ramada $71,000

(I don’t know if I’d call this area “downtown,” but anywho, wow.)

Now, let’s hear from Kris Betz, Hotel Whitcomb Director of Operations, to get a (somewhat) canned response to quite recent allegations of infestation:

“19 July 2011

Dear Guest,

We are sorry for any discomfort that you may have experienced and we are very concerned about what happened. We want you to know that it is our highest priority to provide our guests with the cleanest rooms possible. We have a dedicated inspection team of trained staff that inspects all our rooms to ensure that these cases do not arise.

As you mentioned that you did not find any evidence, so it is possible you could have encountered them elsewhere. Please note that this incident has nothing to do with the cleanliness of our rooms. Please rest assured that this is not a reflection of our facilities cleanliness, as we take pride in providing excellent service and the cleanest accommodations, for all our guests.

Please feel free to contact me at your convenience so we may discuss any circumstances which may have occurred and please accept our sincerest apologies.

Kris Betz, Director of Operations”

I don’t know, man, I feel sorry for the Euros what stay at this place. They’re pretty much all gorgeous,** in-shape,** natural blonds,** who just want to have fun in the 415, you know, they just want to pose for photos with big American police cars and fire trucks and what’s so wrong with that? I feel sorry for them when they get shot and killed on Mason in Union Square or run over and killed by drunk drivers on Masonic or bitten 400 times by bedbugs during one stay. I kind of feel that we’re letting these people down. I feel we’re shirking our obligations to our tourists. 

If I were Director of Operations at Hotel Whitcomb, I would engage in total war with the bedbugs. And I wouldn’t write “Dear Guest” letters what discuss possibilities and evidence.

Just saying.

*Man, for $40 a pop, that’s the best live entertainment value in town, although I think it’s kind of random how good the rush ticket seats are – down in the Orchestra, up in the Mez, who knows. Now,you gotta show up two hours before the performance (at least two hours, and still there’s no guarantee that they won’t be sold out) so that’s your classical price discrimination in operation right there. Anyway, the fun ends August 21, 2011!

BILLY ELLIOT RUSH SEATS NOW AVAILABLE
30 tickets per performance will be offered at $40 per ticket.

  • Available 2 hours prior to curtain
  • CASH only
  • Orpheum Theatre Box Office ONLY
  • First come, First served
  • 2 per person

**Unlike me. 

Brave Euros Lie in Wait for the Google Maps Car – A Chase Down the Street in Full Snorkel Gear – Poor Google!

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Do Euros really sit around in snorkel gear just waiting for the Google Maps car to show up?

Euros do.

Check it out – a few shots earlier, you can see them reading the paper while waiting in folding chairs. Then the chase begins:

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Well, it’s better to have playfully irate frogmen after you than the Federal police

The Euros, They Just Don’t Care: No Helmets, No Lights, Riding Side-By-Side Down Deadly Masonic Without a Care

Monday, July 18th, 2011

These chatty Euro-types are braver than I.

They’re from a cycling culture different from America’s, that’s for sure.

I was on the sidewalk* by the time they ended up taking up the slow lane of deadly Masonic southbound, languidly cruising side-by-side at about half the speed limit all the way to Fell.

Where Nils Linke died last year and James Hudson died this year:

I’m afraid of Masonic, myself. But that’s nothing a little reorganizing couldn’t fix.

Of course our corrupt SFMTA, the worst-run agency in town, has a plan for this part of Masonic. But it’s afraid to implement safety measures quickly and cheaply because that would lower support for what the SFMTA wants to do, which is to wait years and then spend years and eight figures (million$ per block) planting trees and whatnot.

To fight blight, or something.

To make area property owners happy.

Oh well.

At least by then, we’ll have our Target store on Masonic.

Right Charlize and Bullseye?

*As I’ve stated before these people died, all cyclists should be on the wide sidewalks of Masonic instead of actually being on Masonic betwixt Turk and Fulton, generally.

Bicycle Trilogy: Euro Tourists Like Bikes, But Not Concomitant Bike Helmets

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

See?

I’m sure that the bike rental place at the foot of Market Street pushed smelly neon-green helmets on this gaggle of northern Europeans heading outbound, but no dice.

Those are the Euros for you. (You could say the same thing about electrified bikes (helmet use required in CA regardless of age) or mopeds or motorcycles or whatnot, right? Where’s the line?)

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For better or worse…

Nils, Gunther, and Babette: Sullen Euros Encounter Unbearable Ennui High Atop Coit Tower

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

Finally got SFCitizenShip One flying again after that whole thing with the F.A.A. and after replacing those troublesome  port and starboard oblique overlockers, so check out these Euros who paid five Euro each to make it atop world-famous Coit Tower.

Can’t tell if Gunther has a juice box or not. And Babette, well, she looks like a Babette, anyway:

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Welcome back to town, Euros! It’s going to be a great 2011 season, non?

(Our entire economy depends on your annual six-week vacays…)