Posts Tagged ‘fake’

Uh Oh: Many Many Outside Lands 2014 Tickets from Scalpers are Turning Out to be Fake – Here’s What They Look Like

Friday, August 8th, 2014

Like all these tickets are fake, per the SFPD:

Click to expand

So if you try to use your fake ticket at the box office it won’t work, sorry.

Here’s a close-up from from Cornell Banard:

How can you tell a fake from a real ticket? I don’t think you can.

Many many fakes are out there:

@KimKardashian I got sold a fake ticket to outside lands fest to see Kanye!! Can you help me????

What White People Don’t Like:

Waiting around by boxoffice watching all manner of teary-eyed white 20-somethings stomp away screaming on phones abt fake tix

What can be done?

Don’t buy tickets from scalpers. Judging by the amount of tears at the entry gate, they are almost all fake. Duh.

So, choose wisely.

(You can always try to go over or under The Wire, but that kind of thing probably won’t work.)

Sneaking Into Outside Lands 2014: It Can Be Done, But It’s Hard – Remembering the Old Days, When It Was Easy

Friday, August 8th, 2014

[UPDATE: You can always try your luck with the scalpers but there's a huge wave of pretty good looking fakes out there this year, sorry. Oh, and here's a sampling of the citations the SFPD has issued to people getting caught trying to sneak in on this first day of the 2014 event:

Ouch!]

Back in the day, back in the aughts, all you had to do to sneak into Outside Lands was deal with just one eight-foot cyclone fence.

You had the option of going under the wire or over the wire.

Here’s under. See how that worked? Easy peasy.

Well there’s the problem: No bottom tension wire on the chain link fence plus the line posts were placed too far apart:

Click to expand

And here’s an example of over. This is called the bum rush:

You could get away with this kind of thing a few years ago.

But nowadays, things have changed. You won’t be able find these weaknesses in 2014.

Oh, your friend Badger’s working on the inside this year and he’s going to let you and your buds in?

Well, that might work.

But the days of a single chain link fence between you and your tunes are over at the Outside Lands

Just saying, once again.

Advertising Your Business by Making Your Handbills Look Like Parking Tickets and Then Putting them on Car Windshields

Thursday, June 12th, 2014

Right under the windshield wipers, thusly – as seen on Fell Street:

Click to expand

This is an oldie but a goodie, a time-honored technique.

I cry foul.

Oh No, Our “Local” Gannett Blog, The Bold Italic, STILL Doesn’t Know That the Fake Video It Posted is Fake

Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Well here we go, some people took the effort to point out to our “local” Gannett Co Inc blog about one of its many mistakes. And it wasn’t just me, you know, right here: Gull-ible! – Gannett Co Inc’s West Coast Blog Gets Around to Posting a Two-Year Old Video – Oh, But It’s Not a Real Video.

So, Gannett, the charge is that your fake video is fake.

The rejoinder:

Was it?

YES IT WAS.

I mean, it very well may have been

WELL, IF THIS IS YOUR POSITION, THEN WHY NOT JUST SAY “FAKE THIEF-SEAGULL STEALS A GOPRO” INSTEAD?

but we just found people speculating that it was,

OH, IT’S UP TO THE GREATER PUBLIC TO PROVE YOU WRONG AS OPPOSED TO THE OPPOSITE? OK FINE.

and GoPro says they had nothing to do with it. (Though, they could be LYING, or seagulls themselves…)

UH-OH, YOU’RE MISSING THE CASE WHERE GOPRO ISN’T LYING AND SOMEBODY _OUTSIDE_ OF GOPRO PRODUCED THIS FAKE VIDEO, RIGHT?

All right, let’s play along. Do you really think a seagull can pick up a video camera with its webbed feet? If so, you’re naive.

And why do the seabirds of the world only pickup GoPro brand cameras and not Canons or Nikons or Sony Action Cams and whathaveyou?

And what French tourist takes an ordinary sunset video with a monitor-free GoPro in a waterproof case? Not that many, I’ll tell you.

And what of Nathalie Rollandin, what business was she in when she posted that video, only one, of course, the only she’s ever posted on YouTube? Let’s take a look:

Marketing strategy and product launch: concept development and product design, pricing and promotional strategies, training, launch and monitoring of results”

The French tourist turned out to be an Italian-American chick from Chicago. She’s now learning even more about viral marketing ‘n stuff at the Kellogg School. Mmmm

All right, here’s my contribution to the marketing intern fake video oeuvre.

Enjoy:

Actually, mine’s twice as good as yours, because mine has two marketing interns faking a video.

Hey Gannett! What’s your burn rate? Why don’t you move back to Virginia and make room for housing at your reclaimed wood clubhouse on Page? How many millions have you lost so far, The Bold italic, you know, since you all came to town?

Gull-ible! – Gannett Co Inc’s West Coast Blog Gets Around to Posting a Two-Year Old Video – Oh, But It’s Not a Real Video

Friday, February 21st, 2014

Here’s the video, which was ID’ed as a fake about 2.6 million views ago:

And here’s the recent post from the money-losing Gannet blog, The Bold Italic.

Do you really want to know how to do better, TBI? Well, don’t post crap like this, for starters.

Don’t You Wish You Had Your Own State-Approved Smoking Tent, Like Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger Used To Have?

Thursday, February 13th, 2014

I bet you’d love to have your very own smoking tent. One that’s large enough to be seen from outer space, right?

Well then you should envy California Governor Arnold Schwazenegger ’cause this beige smoking tent used to be all his.

As seen from the second floor of Sacramento’s Capitol Building:

aaa

Click to expand

Best of all, it was excluded from California’s new anti-smoking laws because, well, just because.

And if there was the occasional flooding in our historic capitol due to all the fake plastic grass that was put down, well, that was all right as well.

This was the bird’s eye view:

Capture

Happy smoking, Arnie!

Yes, whether it be cigars…

3888539284_be663e209a_b copy

via aindavid

…or marijuana, like back in the day…

arn

Smoking some sweet aparteid weed in South AfricaPumping Iron, 1977

happy smoking, Arnold!

Sneaking Into Outside Lands Used To Be Easy, But This Year It’ll Be Hard – Photos and Video of How People Have Snuck In

Thursday, August 8th, 2013

Back in the day, back in the aughts, all you had to do to get into Outside Lands was deal with just one eight-foot cyclone fence.

You had the option of going under or over the wire.

Here’s UNDER. See how that works? Easy peasy.

Click to expand – well there’s the problem: No bottom tension wire on the chain link fence plus the line posts were placed too far apart.

And here’s OVER. This here is called the bum rush:

You could get away with this kind of thing a couple years ago.

Now. things have changed – you won’t be able find these weaknesses in 2013.

Oh, your friend Badger’s working on the inside this year and he’s going to let you and your buds in? Well, that might work.

But the days of a single chain link fence between you and your tunes are over at the Outside Lands

Just saying.

Oh Wow, Here’s the New $100 Bill – See What It Looks Like, Front and Back, Plus Backlit and Under UV Light – It’s Awesome!

Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Well, here it is, coming to a drug deal near you, the new $100 bill for 2013 and beyond.

You see, those North Koreans think it’s funny to counterfeit our money and this is the response from the U.S. Treasury.

All right, via  NewMoney.gov, from the front:

Click to expand

Now, see it lit up from the back:

Here’s it lit with ultraviolet  light:

And here it is from the back:

“April 24, 2013

Federal Reserve Announces Day of Issue of Redesigned $100 Note

The Federal Reserve Board on Wednesday announced that the redesigned $100 note will begin circulating on October 8, 2013. This note, which incorporates new security features such as a blue, 3-D security ribbon, will be easier for the public to authenticate but more difficult for counterfeiters to replicate.

The new design for the $100 note was unveiled in 2010, but its introduction was postponed following an unexpected production delay. To ensure a smooth transition to the redesigned note when it begins circulating in October, the U.S. Currency Education Program is reaching out to businesses and consumers around the world to raise awareness about the new design and inform them about how to use its security features. More information about the new design $100 note, as well as training and educational materials, can be found at www.newmoney.gov.

For media inquiries, call 202-452-2955.”

Big Lawsuit Against Costco: Explaining to Tiffany and Co. Why It’s OK for People to Use the Term “Tiffany Setting”

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

What’s this? Tiffany and Company is suing Costco for selling diamonds using the term “Tiffany setting” or something?

“We now know that there are at least hundreds, if not thousands, of Costco members who think they bought a Tiffany engagement ring at Costco, which they didn’t. Costco knew what it was doing when it used the Tiffany trademark to sell rings that had nothing to do with Tiffany. This is not the kind of behavior people expect from a company like Costco and this case will shed a much-needed light on this outrageous behavior,” says Jeffrey Mitchell, a lawyer with Dickstein Shapiro who is representing Tiffany in the case. “The Tiffany brand has been damaged, Costco members have been damaged and Costco has profited from the sale of engagement rings by misrepresenting what they were. We will get to the bottom of what Costco was up to and why, and right a terrible wrong.

I cry foul.

You see, Tiffany, the phrase Tiffany mount and similar, well, that’s a genericized term these days, you know, like champagne.

Check it.

Oh, and Tiffany, Costco marks up the price of its worthless rocks a lot less than you do, right? That’s why Costco will take back any diamonds people bought if they were stupid enough to be confused over this issue.

It’s not like they were selling the rings in little blue boxes, right?

OK, Tiffany, keep on keeping on.

Now I’ve got a little shopping to do:

The 10th Anniversary of the SFPD Detention of Lawyer Rodel Rodis – Everything’s About Race? – Scott Wiener Angle

Friday, February 15th, 2013

Yes, everything that ever happens in your life has to do with your ethnic heritage, apparently.

That’s the conclusion you might come to after reading this tale from area attorney Rodel Rodis. It started up ten years ago and ended up involving a former Assistant City Attorney by the name of Scott Wiener.

All right, Rodel, the SFPD took you into a station after thinking you were trying to pass a fake $100 bill, but actually it was real, so look sad, come on, sadder, sadder, cleek:

Via Darryl Bush from a story by Ryan Kim

Uh, dude, you’re telling your story wrong.

And I’ll tell you, if you ever find me with a $100 bill, I’ll know exactly where I got it from.

And you’d think somebody could have entered the phrase “1985 $100 bill” into the Google earlier in this process, back in the day, but oh well. (And IRL, a teller supervisor at a bank in the pre-Internet era could examine a bill and then contact the feds in a New York minute, you know, to check the serial number.)

And if Walgreens ever sends me a giant bouquet to turn my frown upside-down, I’d tell them they should have simply handed over the bouquet money directly to me.

But, In mitigation, you went to the former New College of Law and then, unlike most of its graduates*, you passed the CA bar exam. So good on you. Srsly.

And you escaped the college board before City College came crashing down, so that was a good move as well.

All right, let’s look forward to this incident’s 20th anniversary in 2023, when we’ll surely hear this tale again…

*Such as your fellow area minor celebrity, the ivory-white “Ivory Madison.”