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And this is how things are today in 2013:
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You gotta figure the world-famous Market Street Cinema isn’t coming back anytime soon considering its URL has been sold off.
And I worry.
I worry about Mercedes, Porsche, Lexus, and Ferrari, among others.
How will they pay for business school now?
What we found out was, as long as you drop a lot of cash, ANYTHING goes in this place. ANYTHING. Once you’re in the “Members Only Lounge”, it’s a whole new world. Yup, Chris Rock obviously had never been to Market Street Cinema, because…yeah. Even the stripper was real with us, she was like, “You can call this a whorehouse, or a party house, or whatever, but guys come in here and spend thousands of dollars, so, we’re still here.” I doesn’t get more real than that.
Well it’s the morning of the second Sunday of June, so that means it’s almost time for the Haight Ashbury Street Festival.
Lets take a look at some photos from recent years.
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…and all around:
From Bluoz: Upper Haight is for Lovers:
Let your freak flag fly, baby. From the Eastern Stage:
And here’s one from Chris Witte:
There’s a feeling I get/
when I look to the West…
…and the East…
…on Haight Street on the Second Sunday in June.
At least the Yelpers like Frank:
This ganga guy in purple will sue you for $1000 if you take his photo, or something:
And Obama in a Giants cap, just the way they had it at the recent Union Street Festival:
You know who loves the Haight Street Fair? Parole agents
A mass of humanity:
Hookahs! Get your hookahs! It’s Hookahs.com
A dancing baby grooving on Haight Street:
Can you see the superfluity of nuns in white approaching the Fair? Also note the F430 Ferrari supercar (sans license plates), one of many exoticars that made the journey to the Upper Haight today. Also note the sign: “No Open Containers of Alcohol.” Too bad.
Of course, all you need to get around the alcohol ban is a gallon jug of overproofed white rum and a giveaway “water” bottle. As seen on Ashbury.
Former District Five Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi on the scene
Poorbot looking for handouts:
“SHOW US YOUR BOOBS… please.” “FABULOUS PRIZES.” “DON’T WORRY (WE’RE GAY)” These inebriates residing above the Ben & Jerry’s at the corner of Ashbury were true to their word, tossing down trinkets to all flashers male and female.
You kmow why this San Francisco Native baby is better than you? Cause he had the foresight to be born in San Francisco, that’s why. He won the lottery/ when he was born.
And There You Have It.
As Rain Man used to say, “I know this car.”
I know it because I saw it illegally parked in front of a liquor store at the corner of Union and Columbus on a Friday or Saturday night all the way back in the 1990′s.
1.5 decades later, I see this rig again. How about that?
And of course, it has an expensive CHP 11-99 Foundation license plate holder, to tell peace officers not to give this particular car a ticket, no matter how cray-cray the driver drives/parks.
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Ferraris look a lot better these days, is all I can say.
Anyway, welcome to the new millennium, NRTH BCH.
Here’s the 99% in Lane 2 – no apparent problems here:
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And here’s what’s in Lane 1 a few miles down the very same freeway - it’s YAFWR (Yet Another Ferraro Without Registration):
Do you know why the richers of California tend to go without license plates on their Ferrari and Lamborghini and whatnot? Well, it’s because of the cost.
Buying a Ferraro like this one to tool around on the weekends for a little while will run you $20-something thousand in “use tax” whether you drive it a little or a lot. So what you’ll need to do is to make some arrangement with your cheesy exoticar dealer – if you think about it for a while, you’ll figure something out.*
And the Tax Man prolly won’t catch you.
So that’s why the 99% pays the CA DMV for auto registration and the 1% Ferrari / Lambo crowd does not.
*Oh, it’s a race car, not a regular car. Oh, as soon as I bought it I took it to, let’s see here, Nevada? Yeah, Nevada. As a 1%-er, I live in the crappy, windblown, high desert of Nevada instead of gorgeous California – do you buy that? Oh, that was a repositioning trip, and, you know, I hated it. I don’t actually like the job of ferrying Ferrari about, it’s such a burden. Oh, it’s…
Add Ferrari delivery to onus of Market Street.
“Performance beyond ownership,” it says. (Heh.)
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Club Sportiva, do you make money?
I question your bidness model.
Sometimes I just don’t know…
Do you prefer the original?
Or the parody, as recently seen on Fulton Street?
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Now that’s a moose and a Volvo pilot with attitude.
[UPDATE: I seriously doubt I'll be going to lunch, you know, despite the invitation, with anybody anytime soon to discuss this government-subsidized boondoggle. It's possible I know all about how it and similar events work and yet, still, I don't approve. Educating me about the details isn't going to change my mind. Similarly, I don't approve of the CHP 11-99 Foundation and the negative aspects of that organization. See? It's not just you. But that's OK, right? Enjoy the helicopter photography of yourselves in your grand caravan on the Golden Gate Bridge. "Look at me and my Ferrari! And I'm such a Good Person too!" I won't stop you. Let's hope you all give away more than 3.6%. ]
[UPDATE: Comment time! Check it, "Harry" cries foul:
"What do you have against raising money for underprivileged children?
Tax deductibility, primarily. Plus, I hate kids, all of them. Except David after Dentist kid - he's pretty cool. And he, unlike the members of your crew, has never cracked up a Ferrari. And he doesn't drive drunk. You know, I'd love to see the DMV printouts of all your drivers. Those docs would most likely prove interesting to some. Do you take all comers or do you have any standards? I don't know.
Did you even investigate it before you slammed it?
Well, are you saying people aren't taking deductions on this look-at-me joyride? That would be worthy of investigation, certainly.
What kind of hit and run journalism is this?
My kind, but I wouldn't call it journalism necessarily.
Tell us what’s bad about this charity.
Tax deductibility, primarily.
I’m sure that some of us would like to know, especially the parents of the children who participate.
I'm sure that the parents involved can tolerate a WordPress blog post. Better than you, anyway...
Most of the kids are African-American.
I have to think that 50 Ferrari owners could easily write checks to this charity, but the attention that 50 Ferraris draw will raise double that.
Really? Random people say, "Oh you have a Ferrari so let me donate money to your charity and then let the Treasury match my donation come tax time!" Do people really say that? Do they really do that? Hey, I know - why not sell all 50 Ferraris and then take the millions raised and give it to the beneficiaries of the charity, and here's the key part, and then don't take any tax deductions? If all you mofos got together and did that, well, that would impress the hell out of me. And I'm sure your beneficiaries would greatly prefer that.
If Ferraris don’t have front plates, then they can be ticketed.
I agree that they can be ticketed, but it doesn't really happen IRL, right? I mean, not enough anyway. Most Ferraris in California don't have FLPs and most non-Ferraris do have FLPs. Why is that?
And where are your statistics on Lamborghini registrations?
I don't know, experience? I'm talking about Lambos in San Francisco. Most that you'll see don't have California plates with current decals. Just take a look. And compare that with Ferraris - most of them do have CA plates. See? That's a good thing, that's a compliment for your marque 'n stuff. You all could be worse - I'm acknowledging that.
This comment confirms that you have no idea what you are talking about and just make stuff up."
All right, here's a Lambo what was around town for a while - notice any possible issues? And here's another without any plate at all, but the license plate holder makes reference to the CHP 11-99 Foundation. Speaking of which:
Isn't that funny? The CHP 11-99 Foundation has stopped issuing these licence plate holders but they're still all over the place.
And, since I'm making things up, why don't I make up a story about this guy, whose F355 Spyder lifestyle gets him in all sorts of trouble, dealing with multiple LEAs in multiple counties, and judges and lawyers. And he just happens to be the dude who got into trouble for hanging out in a bar and messing with police radios down in the Peninsula - it made the papers and everything:
That's your image, that's the kind of baggage that you carry, whether you realize that or not.
That's something to think about as you leave the GGB at 9:30 AM attempting to make the five hour trip to Morro Bay in time for lunch, you know, taking the PCH.]
I don’t know, is this upcoming Ferrari Owners Group (FOG) Road Rally from San Francisco to Los Angeles a good thing?
I don’t know man, on September 23rd, 2011, we’re going to have scores of piloti del Ferrari trying to “make time” to get to Morro Bay for lunch and Santa Barbara by 5:00 PM come Hell or high water, you know, after they leave the CHiPpies in San Fran* at 9:30 AM near the GGB toll plaza.
So, if you’re driving a Winnebago RV or something south through Big Sur around lunchtime, you can look forward to being passed over and over and over and over on narrow Highway One.
Oh here’s one, it’s Alfonso the actor. Hurray! Yay, Alfonso!
And let’s all look forward to the CHP rigorously enforcing CVC 5200 on all the Ferrari owners, you know, while the party’s going on:
5200. (a) When two license plates are issued by the department for use upon a vehicle, they shall be attached to the vehicle for which they were issued, one in the front and the other in the rear.”
All right, Vaya con Gaia, but try not to kill yourselves, Ferraristi.
And oh, don’t look for the upcoming party at “Ferrari of San Francisco” in, you know, San Francisco, ’cause it’s not here. En realidad, it’s up in the Great White North, up in Mill Valley, the drunk driving capital of the Bay Area.** Shouldn’t they call it Ferrari of Mill Valley instead? Seems they should…
All the deets, after the jump.
*Oh, I’m sorry. How about “Frisco” instead?
**Look out. The local yokels know all about your little soiree and they’ve got nothing better to do than to lie in wait for you to weave your way past the In & Out on your boozy ride home…
(Remember when he proudly pointed out his flat-panel TV (“BAM!”) and “great mirror?” And the zebra pelt on the kitchen floor?*)
But now, there’s sadness in his life owing to his slightly older-model Ferrari getting cracked up while in the custody of his Ferrari dealership. Of course, the dealership has offered to fix it up and/or offered to let him by a newer, unused Ferrari at a higher price, but that’s not good enough for G.
Read all about it via Ryan Tate of Gawker.
Also via Ryan, an excerpt from the FB:
See that “why does this crap always happen to me?”
Does this make “G” the “definition of a douchelord?”
At the Adam Carolla / Danny Bonaduce bachelor party, Key Club L.A. Photo via Anthony Citrano - Click to expand.
Chin up, G!
*Apparently, the people behind the Secret Millionaire show wanted to show a big delta between the lifestyle of his real-life SoMA pad vs. the Tenderloin hovel that he shacked-up in during the filming of the show. Well, some people got carried away with the made-for-TV furnishings. So that’s where the zebra pelt and chandelier came in. Ironically, you might prefer to live in that hovel on Larkin Street – it’s not that bad, right across the street from Homeland Security. Typical Americans watching had no idea that the rent on that supposedly unlivable apartment in the Tenderloin was more than their flyover country mortgage payments…