F-18s loaded for bear (or not if they’re training dummies) with AM-9 Sidewinder missiles:
Click to expand
Loud and low they fly.
Scharffen Berger Chocolate Maker, R.I.P. But at least the Milton S. Hershey Company employees in Berkeley will get a “very competitive” severance package. (Isn’t the first thing you should ask at a job interview – how competitive is your severance package?)
Fallen, fallen is Scharffen Berger the great, she who has made all the nations drink of the wine of the passion of her immorality. Yea, it is broken, howl ye for it, take balm for her pain, if so be it may be healed. Click ye to expand:
This place is the bomb, a brick house built extra tough for the hazards of munitions manufacturing, its original purpose. See? A factory tour, head gear required:
If only they had had a marketing campaign with more fling and frivolity, like the way they do it over at Mars, Incorporated.
You’ve come a long way, baby. How do we know that? Well, we know that because just as Virginia Slims cigarettes are just for women, new Mars Fling chocolate treat things are just for women as well. So forget the mannish Mars Bar, you gots to get yourself some fling, girlfriend!
And how is Mars going to market these “decadent fingers?” With words, of course. Thusly:
Guiltless pleasure, giving women what they want, chocolate finger, playfully flirtatious, alluring, unapologetic in its desire to tempt, “naughty but not that naughty(TM)”, savor, guiltless bite, decadent finger, enrobed in shimmering, looks as good as the women who crave it, chocolate liberation, freeing every woman from the guilt of indulging in chocolate pleasure, there’s no need to commit, California women love indulging themselves, chocolate as their primary indulgence, given into their chocolate indulgence, can chocolate be a replacement for men?, California women confess they enjoy chocolate as much as passionate kissing, satisfying your chocolate craving is a sure investment, chocolate an affordable fling, indulgent “flings” such as drinking gourmet coffee, having girls’ nights out, and spa treatments, “Every woman desires a moment of the day just for herself, to let inhibitions go and to indulge in what she fancies,” said Thomas, Pinnau, Vice President of Indulgence, Mars Snackfood US, liberating ourselves from the guilt of indulging in what we desire,” unconventional and liberating tagline “naughty but not that naughty” — a unique description for a daily indulgence that every woman longs for, innuendo-laden headlines, celebrity events.
They have more words, but you get the idea. By now you probably have more questions, like:
“How are fabulous FLING™ Chocolate Fingers so miraculously made?” or
“What makes it shimmer?” [NB: Yes, your Fling bar comes speckled with bling. Think rock dust and you won’t be far off, but “girls” just can’t help loving shiny things, in the Land of Snackfoods and Indulgence. Mmmmm….mica.]
Check their website for more complete answers. Look for this “naughty” chocolate treat the next time you’re at a 7-11. No boys allowed.
[Update: Now we’re into Marketing 102 – check out the words seeded onto the Net by the search engine optimizers (SEO) of Mars, Inc. The idea is that people will plug these search terms into the Google and then get pointed to the Fling website. So, if this is your search term: girls night out, social networking, san francsisco [sp], then you might end up being directed to the Fling chocolate website. Is that what you want? Maybe not, but that’s what you get. Here are the hidden words that might fool your search engine:
title= Naughty…but not that naughty!
description content= Chocolate, lite chocolate, light chocolate, parties, spontaneity, treat, frivolous, fun, girls night out, social networking, sexy, fun, chocolate fun, meringue, truffle, truffle chocolate, shimmer, shimmering chocolate, mars chocolate, chocolate for women, women and chocolate, naughty chocolate, chocolate treat, lower calorie chocolate, low calorie chocolate
keywords= Chocolate, meringue, truffle, shimmer, light, lite, lite chocolate, light chocolate, shimmering chocolate, special treat, naughty chocolate, naughty treats, mars chocolate, women, chocolatey treat, packs, multipack, chocolate multipack, fingers, chocolate fingers, FLING™, FLING™ chocolate, party, spontaneity, frivolous, spirited, feminine, charming, chocolate treats, diet conscious, california, los angeles, san francsisco, west coast chocolate, hollywood
Oh well, you can’t fight Big Chocolate, can you? Despite all this SEO stuff, if your search phrase these days is simply fling chocolate then this is what you get, in order:
See? Fling is only ranked #6. But fear not, Mars, Inc. people, Google probably considers your website the best result for that search term, so they’ll fix things and soon you’ll be number 1. Congrats.]