Three words, babe:
Or maybe this is just me, IDK…
Three words, babe:
Or maybe this is just me, IDK…
First of all, let’s play a game of identifying the northernmost, southernmost, westernmost, and easternmost points of San Francisco. If you guess, you’re going to make mistakes.
Hint: They’re all islands, some are mere “rocks.”
All right, in no particular order, here are the answers:
Seal Rock, aka Saddle Rock
North Farallon Islands
How’d you do? Check here.
Now, add up all the San Francisco County land area amidst these points and you’ll get 46.something square miles. Sry.
Anyway, this is wrong:
So that’s your answer, 46 square miles. Oh, you want to round up to 47? OK. No but really you want to round up to 49, you know, for the poetry of it all?
Well, then why not round up to 50, or 100 square miles then?
Of course, back in the day, 49 square miles was a fair guess – 7×7 right? But the problem with that is geography. We were forgetting the Great San Francisco Bight, the part of SF’s northwestern corner that just aint there.
These days, of course, we have the tools to be accurate.
Get up to speed here:
And here’s the latest from this morning – via LZ, we see that the NFL has relented to community pressure and it’s just removed the tacky “50” logo from Alamo Square:
Now it looks like this – the 50 is GONE. The workers must have been arriving just as I was leaving earlier this AM:
And now when you’re up at Union Square, the only way you can tell that San Francisco is hosting the party part of SB50 is this giant sign what’s supposed to tell tourists (and federal law enforcement?) not to keep valuables (or guns?) in cars, due to the high chances of break-ins in Mayor Ed Lee’s Frisco.
Sadly, the sign hasn’t been turned on yet. [UPDATE: Oh, per Hoodline, the sign IS on, it’s just that nobody can read it? You know, that’s even worse. The ones I saw last year were legible. Mmm..]
1. Are the NFL people going to repair or replace it and then bring it back? If so, then it will need security 24-7. Perhaps more on-the-clock SFGov employees can “volunteer” some more of “their” time for this purpose?
2. OTOH, perhaps the NFL will remove all the statues from SF? That would be a nice gesture, IMO.
3. Hey, isn’t the local Host Committee supposed to warn the NFL when the NFL wants to do something grossly inappropriate, like isn’t the Committee supposed to have local knowledge?
4. And how is the 50th Super Bowl [SB50] of 2016 not exactly like the 34th America’s Cup [AC34, aka “THE SUPER BOWL OF SAILING] of 2013? Check it:
“…we estimate that the increase in overall economic activity in San Francisco due to hosting an America’s Cup could be on the order of $1.37 billion. This is three times the estimated impact of hosting the Super Bowl ($300-$500 million).”
See how that works – our disastrous, deadly America’s Cup was predicted to be a BIGGER deal than any old Super Bowl. Was/is that true? NOPE. Oh well.
Anyway, apologies to the people of Alamo Square. Sorry about all this.
Get up to speed here:
So some people stood this piece of NFL “art” back up yesterday, but at around 8:30 PM this thing went back down, and it stayed down. And that brings us to this morning, Sunday, January 31, 2016:
Here’s the report from late last night, from the midnight hour, I can feel the power:
“The sculpture had been righted when we returned to the area around 7pm. Then we heard a loud boom around 8:30pm– the satisfying metallic thud which meant it had been toppled again. BRAVO to the person(s) who did this again. SF loves you.”
This is no longer corporate advertising or corporate art – now it’s garbage. Look at it. Strewn coffee cups, aluminum cans, police CAUTION tape, oxidizing scrap iron plates all over, electronic guts and solar panels removed – it’s now garbage.
We’ve reached endgame. If the NFL people want, they can pick up their garbage afore they get cited (I mean, does the official permit allow it to be on the grass/mud? Nope) and then they could use this scrap to try again. I’m saying just look at the coin “art” graphic on the 0 in “50” – it’s been ripped away. It’s not presentable anymo is what I’m saying. Makeshift repairs aren’t going to cut it anymore. This monstrosity will need to go back to its Maker or it will need to be tossed.
Now what would happen if the NFL people replaced / repaired this thing 100% and then brought it back? The same thing, right?
Who thought this was a good idea?
[UPDATE II: And look, this act of creative destruction has Gone National already, although I should point out that first this ad was altered to say “OOPS” and only later was it pushed over, probably by two separate crews. And look, now the NFL is paying money (our money!) for security guards to watch over some of the other “art” pieces. What’ll happen next???]
First it was all like this – the NFL people thought San Franciscans would line up to thank them for having us pay for their ads, like this ugliness in Alamo Square:
But what happened was local citizens started attacking this giant metal ad. Look here our excellent HoodLine:
See the image? It says, “Evict [Mayor] Ed Lee” in white spray paint.
Then the NFL people said that these ads are “graffiti resistant,” and they tried to clean things up.
Then the same “artwork” was altered by area residents to say “SUPERB OWL”
Then this thing got fixed again by the NFL or whomever, sort of. Note the missing aluminum strip around the “0”
And now here’s the scene this morning – what, where did it go? Do you see the sculpture?
I thought, well, what happened, did the locals simply haul it off or perhaps the NFL people decided this was too much of an embarrassment / distraction so maybe they hauled it away?
Oh, here it is! Boom:
And you see those reddish (metal?) plates?
They’re what was weighing these ads down.
So they wanted to make these ads look solid, but the truth is that they’re more like cheesy Beats Solo headphones, by Dr. Dre, oh well.
Oh look, a Google (and now Storer Transportation too?) bus stop in the background:
Cleverly, the latest crew of locals took the “0” from “Super Bowl 5o” to use as a capital “O” (along with the “O” in BOWL to form “O0ps.” Nice.
Those are the Painted Ladies / Seven Sisters in the background
I’m thinking this would be a good opportunity for the NFL to simply apologize and then get rid of this monstrosity this weekend.
Also, it’d be nice if the NFL could put like $20,000,000 in escrow to pay for having all their parties here. Then the City of SF could draw down the monies to pay for all our out of pocket expenses.
It might seem funny that most San Franciscans don’t want the NFL coming here, but this is the case. Sorry, America.
[UPDATE: And the latest alteration from the locals is SUPER BOWL —> ‘SUP BRO? right in front of City Hall, the highest classical dome in the Western Hemisphere. Simply, the NFL’s annual party is not welcome in this town. Sorry.]
[UPDATE II: Local toughs just went out and simply toppled this hefty statue. This is going to be a long Super Week…]
Remember when the Na’vi people let some Marines mine all their unobtanium on Pandora?
It looked like this – the people, La Raza ended up fighting back:
You know, as best they could.
So the initial attacks upon this tacky sculpture got cleaned up, but now comes something new, from last night or this morning.
For starters, here’s what it looks like from the back, just plopped down in the square:
See what happened? The locals have gone hog-wild on it again and passersby are staring mouths agape:
Hey look here – is This Guy (seen via Twitter user Shanan / ShananD) attacking the tacky sculpture or is he trying to do a repair? Or something else? I just can’t tell.
Tacky “gold” aluminum trim panel? Ripped out. NFL sticker on the side? Scratched out:
SUPERB OWL 50:
What did this use to say? Was it “3 of 10?” Can’t tell now:
NFL coins? Keyed, with extreme prejudice:
And oh yeah, did this thing used to have solar panels? I’ve never seen them – they were the first to go prolly. All what’s left are plastic holes on the back. I’ll tell you, every square foot of this monstrosity has been attacked, in some way or another
You’re not in Kansas anymore, Chief.
Col. Quaritch: You are in Frisco, Ladies and Gentlemen and Arabic Numerals. Respect that fact every second of every day. If there is a Hell, you might wanna go there for some R & R after SB50, cause out there beyond that fence every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. We have an indigenous population of humanoids called San Franciscans. They’re fond of verbal arrows dipped in a neurotoxin that will stop your solar panels in one minute – and they have backbone. They are very hard to kill. As head of NFL Security, it is my job to keep you “50” sculptures alive. I will not succeed. Not with all of you. If you wish to survive, you need to cultivate a strong, mental aptitude. You got to obey the rules: San Francisco Rules. Rule number one…
“I’ve heard some people try to compare the Super Bowl to the America’s Cup. That’s like comparing football to yachting, it doesn’t make sense”
So that’s the Party Line these days, Comrade. But let’s travel back in time to get a different take.
“We have proven we can successfully host the world’s biggest events, including the MLB World Series in 2010 and 2012, the America’s Cup in 2013 and Super Bowl 50 in 2016″
And on and on.
The report found that the increase in overall economic activity in San Francisco hosting the 34th America’s Cup could be on the order of $1.4 billion, almost three times the estimated impact of hosting the Super Bowl ($300-$500 million).
So, if the “East Coast Media,” that monolith, mocks us from New Yawk, DeeCee, and Bahstahn, well, perhaps we deserve it, non?
Well, here’s what it looks like, you know, before the Vandals get to it:
(And this is what I was referring to: French tourists mugged on S.F.’s Twin Peaks – this kind of thing.)
And here’s the report on Super Bowl 50 already, even before the Big Game (what, the New England Patriots vs. the Carolina Panthers – should I care who wins, like, at all?) kicks off. Wow.
You know, I don’t think the NFL will be coming back to Frisco in 2023 or whatever, or really, anytime soon. This party isn’t good for us, and it’s not good for the NFL, right? Shouldn’t the Super Bowl be held on Eastern Standard Time in Florida in or someplace like that? Or someplace that can use it, like in Detroit? I think so.
So enjoy this corporate party while you can…
Speaking of which, here’s 3 of 10, I think:
Hey, what’s going to happen next, NFL? I’ll bet it isn’t in your playbook, you know, the one with the cheesy black and gold color scheme. Hey NFL, you’re the invading army and the people of Frisco are the Na’vi, with smooth, striped cyan-colored skin, large amber eyes, and long, sweeping tails, so you’re going to have to expect a few of your bulldozers to get burned down over the next few weeks.
And then? Then come these guys with the red paint (and the white pants, you know, for contrast) on Game Day. Enjoy.