Posts Tagged ‘front’

The Future is Now: Unlock Your Front Door Using an iPhone – The New Bluetooth-Enabled Kwikset Kevo

Tuesday, May 14th, 2013

Yeah, this isn’t for me, but you?

This is going to change your life!

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Here’s Something New: Position-Aware Wheel Bike Lights – White in Front and Red in Back

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

Now when I say “new” I mean it’s new to me, Gentle Reader.

How do these lights know when to flash on?

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This kind of thing is similar to but different from revolights, right?

OMG, Canon Business Solutions is Coming to the Financh! 10,000 Square Feet at 201 California – Almost Open

Monday, August 27th, 2012

Well, check out the new signs at the corner of California and Front:

Canon Takes 10,300 SF at 201 CaliforniaGlenborough LLC found a retail tenant to fill the vacant ground floor space at 201 California St. in San Francisco. Canon Business Solutions Inc. will occupy 10,283 square feet upon completion of tenant improvements. The 17-story, Class A office property totals 239,342 square feet in the financial district. Jessica Birmingham and Rhonda Diaz Caldewey of Terranomics represented the landlord for the retail portion of the building, while Canon Business Solutions was represented by Michael Taquino of Grubb & Ellis.”

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Oh, and speaking of companies what make cameras and whatnot, which version of Stanfoo-educated TerrorNomics deal broker Jessica Birmingham do you prefer?

Magenta?

Or not magenta?

You make the call.

Anyway, let’s all thank Canon for making the Financh look less like an arrested-decay ghost town during this Great Recession…

Area Toyota Prius Driver Incorrectly Installs “So Hot Pink” “Carstache” – Also No Front License Plate

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

[UPDATE: Hey look, Carstache fans! You made the list.]

But other than that, s/he seemed to drive better than the average Prius driver, so that’s, you know, a mitigating factor:

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Oh well.

Carstache

Carstache PR Department

Would You Like a “Free Gift?” Well, Then Just Join the U.S. Army: MUNI Bus Stop Recruiting Station, Market Street

Friday, June 29th, 2012

In the Financh, not too far from the official recruiting station on Davis near Broadway:

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Remember, “BRING IN THIS FLYER FOR A FREE GIFT!!!”

Come to San Francisco, Buy a Used Town Car, and Then Start Picking Up Passengers Like a Cabbie – Here’s How to Do It

Friday, June 1st, 2012

So let’s see here:

1. We regulate taxi rates so drivers won’t exploit tourists and other disadvantaged souls. (Oh, you’re a rich tourist and you’re lost and your flight leaves in an hour? $200 to SFO, take it or leave it – that kind of thing.)  

2. But we limit the number of cabs on the streets to help out the drivers. 

3. So much so, that buying a used Lincoln Town car and illegally picking people up off of the streets after quoting exorbitant rates is a good way to score some quick cash.

4. And, the SFPD has other fish to fry and the SFMTA isn’t really focused on this issue, so we’re back to square one, with unregulated “taxi” drivers exploiting tourists and other disadvantaged souls. Oh well.

As here. These bidnessmen were trying to flag down some Yellow Cabs, but those were all full, so next come the Black Town Cars. The first one quotes a price through the door, as seen here:

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No dice. (What did the illegal cabbie ask for – $50 to go to Union Square? Something like that.)

And then another one pulls up and then another one, which ends up picking up these dudes and whisking them away. All the while, the bidnessmen were trying to flag down a real taxi.

Here’s the aftermath, on Sacramento:

Note the City of Oakland taxi cruising up the street empty – that’s agin the rules too, as Oakland taxis aren’t allowed to pick up people in the 415.

Now you might not see this too much on a Tuesday night, but on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, it’s Katie Bar The Door out there.

This is the situation.

However, the single-party state of San Francisco is incapable of addressing this particular situation.

Oh well.

Word for the Day: A “Sailbag” is a Douchebag Who Comes to Town to See the Staged America’s Cup Boat Race

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

Here’s the view from the front, complete with fake Euro-style Front License Plate* and handicapped placard** allowing said sailbag the right to park wherever the Hell he wants however long he wants, for free:

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And here’s the rear view what gives the game away. See? It says right there “SAIL BAG.”

And dude’s from Marin County of course.

And there’s a yacht club logo in there as well, of course.

All that’s missing is the CHP 11-99 Foundation scam license plate holder, of course, you know, to get out of those sticky situations involving the police and the CHP, you know, because you’re a Eurotrash sailbag from god damn Marin County so you drive like a bat out of Hell.

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

And more are coming, soon enough.***

In closing, sailbag.

*Is this a legal setup in California? NO, not at all – the DMV gave you an FLP for a reason. I’m not sure if other states still require front license plates, but CA sure does. Peace officers and meter maids both will cite you for this.

**Is this a legal use of a handicap placard? Probably. But do I think that said sailbag deserves to park for free all day on the streets of San Francisco? No. What dude’s doing isn’t exactly illegal because nobody ever gets in trouble for it. You could get a handicapped placard as well, why not? If the first doctor says no, then keep on looking, there’s nothing stopping you from doctor shopping. And then eventually you will find one to sign the DMV form. And actually, the people that have handicap placards consider you a sucker for not having a placard. Hurray! Free parking for me, the sailbag! 

***Do I have objections to rigged boat races on San Francisco Bay in general? No, not at all. But instead of us paying a sailbag like Larry Ellison eight or nine figures to host his little boat party here why don’t we reverse that and have sailbag Larry Ellison**** pay us eight or nine figures for the right to host his little boat party here? See how that works? One little oversight like that makes all the difference.

****Speaking of which, here’s what it looks like when Chief Sailbag Larry Ellison hisself comes to town to nosh on the prime rib. See his Toyota LFA there parked on Van Ness?

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

Embarcadero Center 2, Half Moon, Embarcadero Center 3, December 2011

Thursday, December 8th, 2011

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5-7-2 on Front Street: America’s Cup 2013 Starting Early? – A “Windfall” for Some, But Not For All

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Get used to seeing boats coming and going around town over the next year or two.

Like this:

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Forgive me for not jumping on the bandwagon, for not joining in with the mindless cheerleading.

The fact is that our America’s Cup deal was negotiated poorly. Can anybody deny that? O.K. then.

Now, do you want to say that all this rigmarole is a net positive for the 415 anyway? Well, that’s up in the air.

If you personally get a gig for a number of months, you know, setting up and maintaining port-a-potties and whatnot, then somebody could call that an exercise in “creating jobs,” I suppose. So good for you.

But to compare the famously corrupt Salt Lake City Olympics, or any Olympics, with our AC13, well, that’s not a good thing, is it?

Maybe Larry’s Boat Race will be just like an especially small Olympiad?

Although the accounting methods of Olympic organizing committees are often murky, the evidence further suggests that all of the last six Winter Olympics ended up losing money. The organizers of the Turin Games in 2006 admitted to a $32 million deficit. And while organizers of the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics boasted an operating profit of $110 million, the U.S. General Accounting Office determined that the federal government contributed $1.3 billion toward the event. Plagued by cost overruns, the 1998 Nagano Olympics also lost huge piles of dough, though no one knows exactly how much because the organizers burned the accounting books, leaving the financial impact a mystery.”

So, do I have an inventory of all the land mines what are hidden in the agreement that was negotiated? Not yet, but brace yourselves for them…

In the meantime, study up on all the Eurotrash what are racing the boats. Which collection of Euros are you going to be rooting for?

And dig up your old NCAA uniform. It still fits!

And then bone up on your two-legs-good, four-legs-bad style chanting:

natural amphitheater

world-class 

Go, Eurotrash, go!

Larry Ellison is NOT the biggest fucking douchebag on the entire planet

Hurray!

Do You Need a Rear Brake on Your Bike to be Legal in California? I Don’t Know Anymore

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

You know, I think they went and changed VC 21201 on me. It used to talk about being able to make your rear wheel skid, but now:

“21201.  (a) No person shall operate a bicycle on a roadway unless it is equipped with a brake which will enable the operator to make one braked wheel skid on dry, level, clean pavement.”

I’ll have to look into this.

Here we have a bike with no rear brake on McAllister. (I know what you’re thinking, but this bike isn’t a fixie, it freewheels.) 

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Not exactly safe, IMO, but not necessarily illegal either, apparently…