From left to right:
Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz/
My friends all have Beemers, I must make amends
This thing is so big, it don’t even fit in the viewfinder:
Now here’s the middle part of it:
I haven’t seen a Maybach in Frisco since The Aughts. And then there was that time I think I saw another one back in aught-seven, perhaps doing service for our local Consulate General of India.
I’ll tell you, this particular ride above appears to have come straight from Los Angeles. It sure doesn’t belong here.
Anywho, the bones of these failed beasts, these discontinued orphan cars, date to the Reagan era.
According to Fortune Magazine, after missing out on the chance to purchase Rolls-Royce and Bentley when they were up for sale in the 1990s, “Mercedes backpedaled and decided it needed to be in the ultra-luxury business too, but it went after it in a remarkably clumsy way.” Fortune stated that the first Maybach models had poor driving dynamics compared to its contemporaries from Rolls-Royce and Bentley, as “Mercedes took an aging S-class chassis and plopped an absurdly elongated body on it … rather than develop a new car from the wheels up, as BMW did with Rolls-Royce, or cleverly use the underpinnings of an existing model like the Volkswagen Phaeton for a new Bentley.” Furthermore, Maybachs were never advertised as owner-driven vehicles, as the company believed that the luxury amenities would be sufficient to sell and they even insisted that auto journalists (who usually test drive the vehicle) ride in the backseat.
All right, let’s say ba-bye:
Back in the 1990’s, Euros went Around The World via French House.
These days, they use tiny BMW’s:
“Around the World with a MINI F56 2014.
Start, 16. June 2014 in Germany.
7 countries, 2 months, 2 people, MINI takes the States, 22.000 km. Kick-off 16. June 2014″
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It’s Around the World in 60 Days.
Bon Courage, you daft punks.
UPDATE: This just came in, FYI:
“MINI TAKES THE STATES Motors Across The Country With High-Flying Send-Off From Tony Hawk
MINI owners from around the world rally from San Francisco to Boston: 14 states, 18 cities in 15 days
WOODCLIFF LAKE, N.J., July 27, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — Motorers, start your engines! MINI TAKES THE STATES (MTTS) 2014 is now underway. The rally kicked off early on July 27(th) with fellow MINI owner and partner, Tony Hawk, performing a MINI inspired skateboarding stunt to send off MINI owners itching to hit the road.
1935: Germany strong:
2012: People’s Republic* of China strong:
And you can’t see, but there are five stars on the PRC flag:
“The five stars and their relationship represents the unity of Chinese people under the leadership of the Communist Party of China. The orientation of the stars shows that the unity should go around a center. The larger star symbolizes the Communist Party of China, and the four smaller stars that surround the big star symbolize the four social classes (the working class, the peasantry, the urban petite bourgeoisie and the national bourgeoisie) of Chinese people mentioned in Mao’s “On the People’s Democratic Dictatorship“
In the center of the photo, you’ll find “heiress and socialite” Charlotte Smith Mailliard Swig Shultz, wife of Famous Republican George P. Shultz – check out her bio.** Now, which star is for her? I’m thinking it’s the star representing the national bourgeoisie, but IDK for sure.
*The current communist or socialist states that include the words People’s Republic in their full names:
Historical examples include:
** CSMSS (born ca. 1934) is an American heiress and socialite. She is the Chief of Protocol for the state of California, and the Chief of Protocol for the City and County of San Francisco. She is the wife of former United States Secretary of State George P. Shultz. In 2007, she was named Honorary Commander of The Royal Victorian Order by Queen Elizabeth II.
Or actually, this now fully-licensed preschool is for kinder aged “2.9 to 5″ years.
Here’s the wind-up…
…and here’s the pitch:
“KinderHaus German International Preschool Secures Full Licensing – Hosts Open House Saturday, October 27, 2012
San Francisco, CA — KinderHaus, San Francisco’s first German international preschool, will host its first open house of the year for parents and their children ages 2.9 – 5-years-old on Saturday, October 27, 2012 between 10:00am and 12:00pm. This event marks KinderHaus’ first as a fully licensed preschool.
KinderHaus was founded in 2005 by a group of bilingual families who sought to develop their child’s social, learning and linguistic skills amid constant discovery and play. Since that time, the preschool has been committed to providing a culturally nurturing environment where children can learn through play, exploration and imagination. Energetic and experienced staff work with the children to help them learn and develop their skills. Each child receives individual attention, and instruction is tailored to each child’s ability. Teachers and aids have first aid training and are CPR certified. The bright and spacious classroom has areas for snack and lunch, group and individual play and quiet time. The school also has an outside area.
The exposure to different cultures and languages is a crucial component of a child’s development. KinderHaus is dedicated to integrating the German and English languages, as well as exposing students to the German, Austrian and Swiss traditions and holidays.
Incorporating the values of both German and American cultures, children are encouraged to develop the values of sharing, cooperation and respect for others. Activities include art projects, music, crafts, movement, physical education, nature exploration and story time – with an emphasis on the German language.
The curriculum is based on child-initiated activities within a supportive environment. Children have many opportunities to initiate their own activities and to take responsibility to complete them. The teacher’s role is to help children as they make decisions for themselves. In every aspect of the curriculum it is “the process and not the product that counts.” Each month has a new theme and its objective will be introduced followed by an art, science, and/or math project to reinforce the concept.
“Movement, social interaction in a child-centered environment is important to me,” said Jana Houweling, KinderHaus’ new director and lead teacher who has more than a decade of Early Childhood Education experience in San Francisco. “Through observation we determine what are the child’s interests and encourage them to explore them – hands on.”
During the open house, interested parents and their children are invited to meet the current enrollees and the preschool’s multinational teachers to get an overview of the school’s organization and its mission. After informal introductions, there will be time for prospective families to ask questions. Children are encouraged to attend and play. Light refreshments will be served.
KinderHaus is located in St. Matthew’s Lutheran Church, 3281 16th Street at the corner of 16th and Dolores Streets and offers easy and safe access for you and your child. The school year runs between August and June.
For more information, visit www.kinderhaussf.org.
About KinderHaus German International Preschool:
KinderHaus is a German-English licensed preschool with a focus on play-based exploratory immersion of German language and German speaking cultural activities. The monthly curriculum introduces children to German songs, rhymes and stories with a common theme. The most well-known traditions and holidays from German speaking countries and American holidays are celebrated.
At KinderHaus, we are committed to fostering positive relationships with children and their families. We honor and respect each child’s unique skills and interests and believe that each child should be allowed to develop at his or her own pace. Our priority is to provide a safe, nurturing, and inspiring environment where children are challenged and enabled to grow to their fullest potential.
Our daily program consists of an AM and PM program. Children may attend full or half day sessions. Enrollment is based on rolling admissions throughout the school year and contingent upon classroom availability. KinderHaus follows the SFUSD calendar.
Our teaching staff consists of native German speakers who have degrees in Early Childhood Education.”
OK then. Myself, all the German I know is from Falco. Pity me.
Is this what it would look like if Anne Hathaway / Parker Posey (on the left) and Bobby Flay (on the right) conspired to steal a little violone from San Francisco’s world-famous Conservatory of Music in Civic Center / Hayes Valley?
“Hey Reddit, my son’s very expensive cello was stolen from the San Francisco Conservatory of Music yesterday. Here are the surveillance pics from security that show a young couple making-off with my son’s primary instrument. FWIW, this instrument is one of the most expensive things I have ever owned. It was stolen around 4:05 PM on Sunday, September 16th, 2012. These people are nonchalantly making-off with a full-size cello that was purchased when my son graduated from a smaller cello when he was 12. We’ve owned it for 11 years. He’s in the collegiate division at the San Francisco Conservatory and it is not only the vehicle for his ability to obtain a classical music degree, but is also his sole source of income, as he uses it in performances and recordings. We’ll be doing a media blitz tomorrow with local stations and the SFPD, but I’m hoping the community can help. Any leads are incredibly appreciated.”
Do you have enough Clues? Who will solve this mystery?
“On the new green bike lanes and separators sprouting up all over the city:
Market Street, USA, between 6th and 5th, inbound, morning drive, last week, and the week before, and the week before…
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Dude, is that a BMW R1200RT-P? That’s the first I’ve seen in SFPD service.
Here’s the view from the front, complete with fake Euro-style Front License Plate* and handicapped placard** allowing said sailbag the right to park wherever the Hell he wants however long he wants, for free:
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And here’s the rear view what gives the game away. See? It says right there “SAIL BAG.”
And dude’s from Marin County of course.
And there’s a yacht club logo in there as well, of course.
All that’s missing is the CHP 11-99 Foundation scam license plate holder, of course, you know, to get out of those sticky situations involving the police and the CHP, you know, because you’re a Eurotrash sailbag from god damn Marin County so you drive like a bat out of Hell.
Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.
And more are coming, soon enough.***
In closing, sailbag.
*Is this a legal setup in California? NO, not at all – the DMV gave you an FLP for a reason. I’m not sure if other states still require front license plates, but CA sure does. Peace officers and meter maids both will cite you for this.
**Is this a legal use of a handicap placard? Probably. But do I think that said sailbag deserves to park for free all day on the streets of San Francisco? No. What dude’s doing isn’t exactly illegal because nobody ever gets in trouble for it. You could get a handicapped placard as well, why not? If the first doctor says no, then keep on looking, there’s nothing stopping you from doctor shopping. And then eventually you will find one to sign the DMV form. And actually, the people that have handicap placards consider you a sucker for not having a placard. Hurray! Free parking for me, the sailbag!
***Do I have objections to rigged boat races on San Francisco Bay in general? No, not at all. But instead of us paying a sailbag like Larry Ellison eight or nine figures to host his little boat party here why don’t we reverse that and have sailbag Larry Ellison**** pay us eight or nine figures for the right to host his little boat party here? See how that works? One little oversight like that makes all the difference.
****Speaking of which, here’s what it looks like when Chief Sailbag Larry Ellison hisself comes to town to nosh on the prime rib. See his Toyota LFA there parked on Van Ness?
Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.