Posts Tagged ‘girls’

Ed Reiskin’s Sexy Tips for Girls – How to Earn Money and Support MUNI at the Same Time

Friday, February 7th, 2014

IDK, did  MUNI chief Ed Reiskin condone this particular MUNI bus ad?

It sure looks that way!

Now the way to make this ad, leaving aside all the other Photoshop stuff, is to rotate the shot 90 degrees counterclockwise. See? I’m just saying that gravity doesn’t work this way IRL. 

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Remember Ed, you can’t spell obsequious without I-O-U my job, “strong” Mayor Ed Lee.

Hey Ed Reiskin! Is it a good idea to  charge money for parking meters on Sundays? Oh it is? Oh great!

But oh, Ed Reiskin, Ed Lee has decided that he can’t tolerate the SFMTA charging money for parking meters on Sundays. Oh what’s that, you’ve all of a sudden changed your mind on this issue and now you don’t like Sunday parking meters?

OK fine.

What San Francisco 49ers Fever Looked Like on the Race to the Super Bowl – Great Photo from the Civic Center Blog

Thursday, January 30th, 2014

This shot from Michael Strickland almost looks as if it were staged, but it wasn’t:

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See you next year, same time, same place!

Until then, enjoy this folk art now installed on Geary in the Inner Richmond District:

The Laughable “Apology” Letter to the Beastie Boys from YouTube Sensation “Debbie + Team GoldieBlox”

Wednesday, November 27th, 2013

Hey look, it’s GoldieBloxeses’ “our letter to the Beastie Boys.”

Dear Adam and Mike,

We don’t want to fight with you. We love you and we are actually huge fans.

UH, LET ME CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS RIGHT NOW. YES YOU DID WANT TO FIGHT THEM. REMEMBER?

When we made our parody version of your song, ‘Girls’, we did it with the best of intentions.

WHO WROTE THIS, A LAWYER? THAT’S YOUR CONCLUSION, ABOUT THE PARODY, RIGHT? THIS IS AWFULLY “ON MESSAGE” FOR AN APOLOGY LETTER. AND YOU DID IT WITH THE BEST INTENTIONS? HOW DO WE KNOW THAT? I THINK YOU DID IT WITH THE PURPOSE OF MAKING MONEY. IS THAT A GOOD INTENTION?

We wanted to take a song we weren’t too proud of, and transform it into a powerful anthem for girls.

WHY WERE YOU NOT TOO PROUD OF IT? DID YOU WRITE IT, DO YOU OWN IT? I THINK IT’S THE BEASTIE BOYS THEMSELVES WHO HAVE ALREADY SAID THEY WEREN’T PROUD OF IT AND THAT WAS TWO DECADES AGO.

Over the past week, parents have sent us pictures and videos of their kids singing the new lyrics with pride, building their own Rube Goldberg machines in their living rooms and declaring an interest in engineering. It’s been incredible to watch.

IS THIS AN AD FOR YOUR COMPANY?

Our hearts sank last week when your lawyers called us with threats that we took very seriously.

YOUR HEARTS SANK? WHOSE? YOUR VC BACKERS’ AND YOURS?

As a small company, we had no choice but to stand up for ourselves.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY DIDN’T YOU GET PERMISSION FIRST OR CHOOSE A DIFFERENT SONG OR MARKET YOURSELVES DIFFERENTLY? WHY NOT JUST STOP USING THE SONG? DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HERE’S WHAT THE BOYS SAID: “When we tried to simply ask how and why our song “Girls” had been used in your ad without our permission, YOU sued US.” THAT WAS THE “THREAT.”

We did so sincerely hoping we could come to a peaceful settlement with you.

SINCERELY? BULLSHIT.

We want you to know that when we posted the video, we were completely unaware that the late, great Adam Yauch had requested in his will that the Beastie Boys songs never be used in advertising.

WELL GEE, IF YOU HAD ASKED, YOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED THAT, POSSIBLY, RIGHT? YOU DON’T REALLY NEED TO KNOW ALL THIS INFORMATION ANYWAY, RIGHT? YOU JUST NEED TO NOT INFRINGE, RIGHT? DON’T YOU KNOW THAT?

Although we believe our parody video falls under fair use, we would like to respect his wishes and yours.

SO, YOU’VE GOTTEN TONS OF FREE PUBLICITY FOR YOUR TOY COMPANY AND NOW YOU WANT TO RESPECT WISHES. OK FINE.

Since actions speak louder than words, we have already removed the song from our video.

NOT ON VIMEO, NOT YET, BUT PROLLY BY TOMORROW, SURE.

In addition, we are ready to stop the lawsuit as long as this means we will no longer be under threat from your legal team.

IS THIS FROM YOUR LAWYERS AGAIN? IS THIS THEIR SETTLEMENT OFFER? THE ONLY REASON YOU’RE UNDER “THREAT” IS BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS, RIGHT?

We don’t want to spend our time fighting legal battles.

EVEN IF IT WILL GET YOU ATTENTION?  I DON’T BELIEVE IT.

We want to inspire the next generation. We want to be good role models. And we want to be your friends.

Sincerely,

Debbie + Team GoldieBlox

WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT. ALL RIGHT, WELL, HAPPY HOLIDAYS. OH WAIT, THE CHRISTMAS GIFT SEASON IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER. WHAT A CONVENIENT TIME TO BECOME “FRIENDS,” WHAT A COINCIDENCE!

Working with experienced innovators from such companies as Pictionary and IDEO…”

Of All the Secluded Places to Sunbathe in the Secluded Presidio, the End of World-Famous Lombard Street isn’t One

Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

The recent view from the busiest intersection of the Park, on a dreaded sunny day:

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(Of course, actual swimming anywhere near the beaches of the Presidio is def. NOT RECOMMENDED.)

An Arresting Image from The Tens: ICE CREAM, Sisterhood, Traveling Pants

Friday, July 5th, 2013

Such joy in this shot from The Tens:

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More Cowbelle: OMG, the San Francisco Bulls Cow Belles “Ice Girls Squad” is Adore-A-Bull – Union Square Skating

Monday, December 10th, 2012

Hurry on down to Union Square before the holiday ice skating rink leaves us on January 21, 2013.

This was the scene on December 6th: Drag Queens On Ice 2012: Bigger, Better and Bawdier!

Simply everybody was there to cheer on the queens, including members of the San Francisco Bulls hockey team and the concomitant Cow Belles:

San Francisco Bulls Professional Hockey Team’s Cow Belles

Today’s ‘Xam has an ad for a singles night - maybe they’ll have another one of those soon.

All right, see you there, in the square!

Shanghai Metro, the MUNI of the Largest City in the World, Tells Women to Dress Primly – Protest Ensues

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

First of all, MUNI* sucks, let’s just get that out of the way.

Second of all, look what happened when Shanghai Metro over there in the People’s Republic of China used its Tumblrish/Twtterish microblogging website to lecture women about how to dress, you know, to decrease the chances of getting groped and whatnot.

See? It’s all:

“乘坐地铁,穿成这样,不被骚扰,才怪。地铁狼较多,打不胜打,人狼大战,姑娘,请自重啊!”

Now it’s been a while since my days at Hereford, but I think that means:

“Subway, dressed like that, and not be harassed, strange. More subway wolf, playing numerous fight the war of crying wolf, girl, please behave!”

Get it? If you dress like a ho, you’ll get treated like one, by the subway wolves.

And here’s the photo that Shanghai’s subway agency grabbed to make its point:

But now there’s a quiet protest going on.

Like right here.

Like people are wearing burkas to say, “What do you want to do, impose Sharia Law?”

What a burn.

I’ll tell you, one thing the Red Chinese hate, just hate, is underground protest movements. They can’t abide.

Like remember this one from a few years ago? It seems that a group of people wanted to Stop the Killing in Tibet so they had this gal suspend herself from the Chinese Consulate right there at Geary and Laguna.

Thusly:

Man, the people inside the consulate went berserk over this one. They ended up going to the roof to cut her down. (Lucky for her she was just 15 feet above a balcony – if she had fallen to the sidewalk below, it could have been fatal.) And then they blocked the SFFD from taking her to SF General to get her leg injuries treated. (You know, back then, the PRC was kind of a pariah nation.)

Anywho, my point is that the Chinese Communist Party can’t abide** protest, even little ones about proper dress codes, so it will be interesting to see what happens when Democracy finally finds its way to China. Perhaps the CCP would end up the winner in a fair election. Who knows.

But little things, like “underground” performance art protests, have a tendency to turn into bigger things.

Sometimes.

We’ll see.

*I mean I don’t think you should ever broach the topic of the SFMTAMUNIDPT without saying up front that MUNI sucks, that MUNI has lots and lots of room for improvement. This kind of constructive criticism displays the fact that you don’t think that MUNI is the Best Darn Agency in the World or something like that. So you could say, “Of course MUNI sucks, but I think that we should keep on building that horrible Central Subway.” That would be interesting, huh? That would show at least that you acknowledge reality and also that you feel that paying the Feds back their $200,000,000 or so would be a burden on the City and County. And then somebody else might counter with, “Yeah, we should make a deal with the Feds not to spend good money after bad  - maybe  let’s just forget the whole thing and let’s not require repayment of the money back to the US Treasury. That would be a win-win for San Francisco and all the taxpayers of America.” Or something like that.  Now you’re on the trolley!

**Hey, now let’s hear from Mayor Ed Lee “advisor” / Chinese Consulate “advisor” Chinatown “Power Broker” Rose Pak, you know, from back in the day, after she descended from her taxpayer-financed, below-market condo penthouse in District Six:

“When asked what message she would like to convey to the Chinese government, Pak said, ‘On what moral ground do we have as United States citizens lecturing what China should do when our own President would drum up falsehoods and bomb Iraq back to the stone-age, killing several hundred thousand innocent Iraqis. Look at all the problems in the world, (they) are all created by Western countries with their phony-baloney moral standards,’ Pak added.”

Do You Know These Three Girls Who Hang Out on Polk Street? One of them Stole a Cell Phone and Wallet at a Subway Sandwich

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Here’s the sad story from the dude what lost his stuff at the Subway Sandwiches on Polk and Sutter:

“(3/25/2012) I was in the Subway sandwiches place at 1199 Sutter at Polk and then walked outside to get a taxi for some people I was with. I had accidentally left my phone and wallet on the table. When I returned about 30 seconds later my stuff was gone. Here is the surveillance video of who took it. Please message me or email me at racejohnson@gmail.com if you recognize her.”

Now, I say girls, I mean, I can’t tell how old they are, something betwixt 14 and 24. They act like high school students AFAIAC.

More deets here on the Reddit SF.

San Francisco’s MUNI Bus Service on Any Given Sunday: Fuck It – Lower Haight, 44 Degrees, Blustery, Waiting, Waiting, Waiting…

Monday, March 19th, 2012

Oh, I’m sorry, it’s spelled “Phuket.”

But close enough:

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And if you wait for MUNI there long enough, that video camera will document your abduction or assault, as it has for others so many times before.

And if you wait even longer, the promise of that bus “shelter” dissipating sine-wave “roof” will be fulfilled by The Big One, you know, the one that will kill thousands.

And if you wait even longer than that, San Franciscans will have an SFMTA that actually is “somewhat independent” of the Mayor.

Keep waiting!

PS: MUNI sucks.

Opening of San Francisco’s Classiest New Steakhouse, the Penthouse Club, Covered by Our Classiest News Station, KRON-TV

Friday, March 16th, 2012

I think that’s Vicki Liviakis* doing a stand-up** in front of the VIP line last night at the Grand Opening of our brand-new San Francisco PENTHOUSE CLUB & Steakhouse.

Looked like kind of a sausage-fest, actually:

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But, oh, the reviews are in, already. Let’s hear from from the “Yelp Elite” cognoscente:

“My boyfriend got the 28-day dry aged bone-in ribeye with chimichurri sauce and I got the grass fed filet mignon with shallot confit and sauce Diane. We were both getting full at this point, but not full enough to not devour both of these beef dishes. The chimichurri sauce was the best we have ever had and really enhanced the juicy ribeye. My filet mignon was tasty and rich and the shallot confit added a nice sweet touch to the dish. We had the Jordan Cab with the meat dishes.

“This was one of the best food experiences I have had in a long time! Every single dish was eaten in its entirety and the bits were scraped off the plate with our forks. I would have licked the plate had I been at home. Executive Chef Mike Ellis has created an amazing and versatile menu that is guaranteed to please anyone’s palate.”

O.K. then.

Bon Courage, San Francisco PENTHOUSE CLUB & Steakhouse!

*At first, I thought she might have been the talent, you know, coming out of the limo. (That’s a compliment, I suppose…)

**I can’t recall ever seeing a real live person holding a KRON 4*** video camera, cause, you know, usually a tripod does the job. That’s the “VJ” concept. 

***If I were in charge of KRON, I’d apply to the FCC to change the name to KORN**** and then I’d beg NBC for an affiliate contract, you know, so it’d be like the old days. That would improve ratings 150% overnight, I’d wager.

****And actually, it would have a Cyrillic R, you know, like this: KoЯn-TV