Posts Tagged ‘golden gate park’

The Roof of Our World-Famous California Academy of Sciences Now Smells Exactly Like a Burger King – Exactly

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

I’m talking exactly.

Mmmm…burger:

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Of course the nearby Inner Sunset district used to have the World’s Smallest Burger King (just a skosh under the then all-important 1000 square foot threshold), but it, just as with Cole Valley’s Bacon Bacon, had issues with neighbors complaining about the smell.

So head on up to the wavy wavy roof for a sniff. And while you’re there, check out Color of Life. It’s excellent.

“SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE” – Making a Mockery of Our SFPD Bomb Squad

Monday, July 13th, 2015

A bag labeled SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE. OK fine:

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Speaking of which, best official logo ever:

Keep ridding us of those 100 foot long sticks of dynamite, Giant Bald Eagle…

Here’s What You Want to See in Golden Gate Park: An Orange-Shirted “INMATE”

Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

Is a genuine orange shirt from the California Department of Corrections a prestige item on the Streets of San Francisco?

Yes it is:

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Boosted Skateboards are Everywhere These Days – Catch the Wave – Would You Pay $1500 for an Electric Skateboard?

Wednesday, July 8th, 2015

Attention youth – instead of riding fucking MUNI about town, why not pilot something what’s [Simile Mode: ON] like a supercar, like a fighter jet AND like a snowboard?

Carve like a snowboard. Accelerate like a supercar. The boosted board combines the world’s most powerful light electric drivetrain with a Loaded longboard for amazing hill climbing, precise carving, and revolutionary braking. Riding a Boosted board feels like flying an electric fighter jet. Our award-winning electric drivetrain propels one of the world’s best longboards up incredible hills at speeds up to 22 mph and can brake the board to a complete stop even while going downhill. Proprietary control technology lets you limit power so you can comfortably learn before you graduate to the world’s most powerful board sports experience. You will feel like you’ve carved a snowboard through fresh powder every day of the year, whether it’s with your friends or on your way around town. See why the press calls it a dream to ride and one of the best feelings of motion I’ve ever experienced. PERFORMANCE SPECS – Max Speed: 22 mph – Range: 7 Miles – Power: 2000W – Uphill Climbing: 25 Percent Grade – Powerful Braking: Regenerative – Charge Time: 60 min – 4 Modes: Beginner 8 mph 8+ miles : Eco 16 mph 7 miles : Expert 20mph 6 miles : Pro 22 mph 4.5 miles PRODUCT SPECS – Weight: 15lb – Truck Width: 10in – Wheel Size: 75mm – Deck Length: 38in – Deck Material: 100% Bamboo”

You’ll look like this:

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Is this The Future?

IDK.

A modern day warrior
Mean, mean stride
Today’s Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride

Though his mind is not for rent
Don’t put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day’s events
The river

Exit the warrior
Today’s Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day

Single Rainbow All The Way – This is What It Looks Like When a Team Transports a Giant Balloon Rainbow by Bicycle

Monday, June 29th, 2015

As seen on the Golden Gate Park Panhandle Bike Path:

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Hanging Ten, But on a Skateboard in Golden Gate Park

Monday, June 29th, 2015

Bro was cruising right along…

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Hanging ten is when the surfer positions the surfboard in such a way that the back of it is covered by the wave and the wave rider is free to walk to the front of the board and hang all ten toes over the nose of the board.

SFGov Wake-Up Service in Golden Gate Park – Picking Up Gross Things with a Stick Whilst the Sleepers Sleep

Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

It’s a living:

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If You Have a Motorcycle (or Something Smaller Like a Moped), Feel Free to Travel Through the Golden Gate Park Panhandle

Tuesday, June 16th, 2015

You know, the way everybody else does.

As here, on the “300 block” of Ashbury, or what would be 300 block but for the Golden Gate Park Panhandle being there. But no matter, just wait for the light and then head north or south on the walking paths:

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This will save you all kinds of time going from Fell to Oak or Oak to Fell.

This didn’t used to be a thing, but now it’s a thing, especially at night…

Does YOUR Skateboard Have an On-Board Speaker? If Not, Why Not? – Let Tout le Monde Hear Your Tunes, SK8TR BOY!

Monday, June 15th, 2015

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[Bunny D]
We like them short and we like them tall
We like them one and we like them all
They’re always adding speakers when they find the room
Cause they know we love the man-children with the boards that go BOOM!

How to Drink Mad Alcohol in Golden Gate Park Without Paying Rec and Park an $18,000 Fee? Call Your Event “Sloshball” – The HATE 11

Monday, June 15th, 2015

Here’s your scene – they call it sloshball, or keg kickball, whatever.

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Of course there are legal ways to your drink on in GGP, but RPD views them as “profit centers,” so usually it’s only corporations what can afford them. And sometimes, even then, it’s just not worth it.

On It Goes…

If you plan to host an event here, be prepared for it to be a complete pain in the ass. Better yet, don’t host an event here.

The Parks and Rec department clearly doesn’t care about their customers. I planned a company picnic recently and continued to have issues with the permits people.

I reached out to them in February for an event in October. It took months for them to get back to me to start the process. It took even longer for them to understand how simple my event was. They wanted to charge me $18,000 (what they charge for Outsidelands) for a simple, 300 person max event. Completely ridiculous. Then, three weeks before the event (when I still didn’t have the permit!) they sent me a list of items I needed to send them before I could have my permit. The list was not things that are easy to get. They also take forever to return calls or emails (at least a week.)

The whole proces was a complete nightmare. I’d look elsewhere to hold any event. Even getting a picnic permit for a table is expensive and not worth your trouble.