Finally, the Land of Misery way out there by Ocean Beach west of San Francisco is getting a little action.
“If you start at the Bay Bridge and head west along most major streets in San Francisco, you’ll eventually get to a magical land of misery known as the Sunset. The name is a joke, and perhaps even a way to trick tourists: The sun rarely visits the Sunset, not even when it sets. The primary weather element in the Sunset is fog—thick, endless, depressive clouds of it that wash up from the ocean to completely saturate the land. I lived in the Sunset for a single, terrible year. Before I moved there, I used to be one of those snobby city-dwellers who’d look down on suburbanites who couldn’t handle San Francisco’s famously capricious climate. I’d heard the Sunset’s weather wasn’t great, but hey, how bad could it be?
“It was bad. Too bad for me; after our lease was up, my wife and I moved to the suburbs. Looking back, what bothered me most wasn’t the terrible climate—though I did hate it—but the vast difference between the Sunset’s weather and the weather everywhere else. Whatever meteorological patterns applied in normal parts of San Francisco didn’t seem to apply to the Sunset, which meant that forecasts for the city held no sway there. If the weatherman said it was going to be 80 and sunny, it was probably 55 and cloudy at my house.“
Of course, former Supervisor Ed Jew famously claimed to live in the Sunset, but instead of actually doing that he preferred to risk jail, which is where he’s at right now. Oh well.
What a great place for a high-cost, low-productivity photovoltaic power plant using panels costing many times more than the going market rate. Oh well:
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But it could be worse. The writer could have started talking about the “houses” of the Sunset District. Here they are, in no particular order:
Keep on keeping on, Sunset District.
These days, you can’t just sit back and let the cops to all the work protecting your bidness from the criminal element. So why not spend a day installing cheap cameras all over the place so you can record 16 video streams 24-7? You’ll be the Hero of Haight Street, or wherever, and then you can start making your own videos about “The Gauntlet” or whatever.
Wide angle, telephoto, infrared LED lighting, hook it up to the Internet for free, watch it live from you smart phone, hook up more hard drives for extra storage – this thing has it all.
Or maybe, you could point some of your extra cams at a nearby intersection, such as problematic Fell crossing Masonic or horrible Octavia Boulevard crossing everything – Market, Haight, Page, Oak, Fell, the works. You’d be the hero of the hood by being able to demonstrate just how somebody got injured.
Or just do it to impress your neighbors in the Richmond or Sunset districts. You wouldn’t even need to hook up the cams - just mount them all over the place and then everybody will go, “Oh, that must be the new brothel and/or growhouse in the neighborhood.” Don’t think they’ll mess with you after that. Respect!