Posts Tagged ‘gun’

Semi-Automatic For The People: The Armed Guards at the End of Haight Street – Whole Foods + McDonalds

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Sometimes, when you have a sidearm, all you need to do is grab your belt buckle and lean against somethin’.

The Man With No Name, at the West End of the Haight-Ashbury:

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At the current time, there are handguns all over the intersection of Haight and Stanyan. Whole Foods has always had a large security crew here (some armed, some not, one supposes) and starting the past couple months or so, the McDonalds across the street now once again has an armed guard.

Do you think that’s groovy, Man?

Anyway, this is how things stand during the Summer of 2015

Become an SFPD “Community Police Services Aide” and Make More Money Than Most of the World’s Cops – No Sidearm Tho

Thursday, April 16th, 2015

No gun = lots of problems avoided for your employer, the People of San Francisco.

How does this job title compare with Community Service Officer, the kind of gig they have Down South and Up North? I know not, but it all seems the same to me.

9209 Community Police Services Aide

Recruitment #CBT-9209-900934
Department Police
Analyst Jennifer London
Date Opened 4/7/2015 8:00:00 AM
Filing Deadline 4/17/2015 5:00:00 PM
Salary $55,510.00 – $67,496.00/year
Job Type CBT Discrete
Employment Type Full-Time
Go Back Click HERE to apply Click HERE to view benefits

Announcement clerically amended on 4/9/2015 to include exam related information, to provide information regarding candidate requests, to correct the eligible list duration, and to extend the final filing deadline. Receipt of applications will close at 5:00pm on 4/17/2015.

Applicants who already applied to this recruitment (CBT-9209-900934 Community Police Service Aide) do not need to reapply.

Under general supervision, a Community Police Services Aide performs a variety of police related duties for the San Francisco Police Department. Essential functions may vary depending on assignment and may include: directs traffic and issues citations for parking violations at the San Francisco International Airport; regulates, directs, and searches vehicles entering the Airport Operations Area; accepts and processes complaints in person or over the telephone; ensures security of restricted areas and property; utilizes two-way radios; completes reports and forms; provides information and assistance to the public; assists ill or injured citizens; assists in receiving, storing, and releasing of property; utilizes a computer terminal to enter and retrieve information; provides crowd management during events and emergency situations; sorts, files, and maintains reports and records; transports and retrieves evidence to and from Property Room; maintains inventory of office supplies and operates departmental vehicles. Incumbents also perform related duties as required.

Employees in this classification will be given assignments that may require occasional lifting, moving or carrying materials weighing up to 55 lbs.; extended standing, walking and/or sitting; working in inclement weather; climbing up and down a 4 – 6 feet ladder and working in a noisy environment.

Appointees to this classification must be willing to work days, nights, weekends, holidays, and/or rotating shifts as needed. This job also requires mandatory overtime.


1. Possession of a high school diploma or successful completion of an equivalency test (G.E.D. or California High School Proficiency Examination); AND

2. Possession of a valid Driver License; AND

3. Must be at least 18 years old at the time of application; AND

4. One year of satisfactory full time public contact in a work situation (2000 hours) or military experience.

Telemetry Transceivers, Baker Street, Western Addition, San Francisco

Wednesday, November 12th, 2014

No these aren’t brand-new ShotSpotter gunfire detectors, as I initially thought.

They’re telemetry transceivers to give MUNI vehicles signal priority, per the Richmond District Blog:

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Now here’s a shot from 2011 on Scott Street in the Western Addition – I don’t know what all this stuff is:

I don’t think any of them have anything to do with signal priority…

Sebastian the Police Horse, Eucalyptus Trees

Monday, July 7th, 2014

Part of the San Francisco Police Mounted Unit::

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Snoop Dog + Joe Montana + Willie Brown + MC Hammer + Ronnie Lott + Diana Nyad + Airbnb = “No Guns Allowed” Campaign

Thursday, May 29th, 2014

Snoop Youth Football League? News to me.

Plus, an “auction of Snoop Dogg’s paintings?”

Tonight’s soiree should be quite an event.

All the deets:


Leaders from Tech, Music, Sports, and Politics Support “No Guns Allowed”

Program at SF Press Conference on May 29

Special Guests Include Mayor Willie Brown, MC Hammer, Hall-of-Famer Ronnie Lott, Swimmer Diana Nyad and more 

San Francisco, CA - May 28, 2014 - Entertainment icon Snoop Dogg, NFL Hall-of-Famer Joe Montana, founder Ron Conway and Executive Director, League of Young Voters Education Fund, Dr. Robert “Biko” Baker, will be the featured hosts at a May 29th benefit to raise money and awareness of the “No Guns Allowed” campaign. Other special guests to attend include former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, recording artist MC Hammer, Hall-of-Famer Ronnie Lott, swimmer Diana Nyad, and more.

The evening will be kicked off by a press conference discussing gun violence solutions, followed by a live auction of Snoop Dogg’s paintings and other exclusive items to benefit both the “No Guns Allowed” initiative and the Snoop Youth Football League.”

Ever more deets, after the jump


How Will the Signs for the Willie Brown Span of Our Bay Bridge Get Defaced? The Latest Odds

Tuesday, February 11th, 2014

Ah, we’re just finding out about today’s big event.

So just as Herb Caen (1916-1997) got a party for Herb Caen Way in 1996, Willie Brown (1934- 20__) is getting a party for the Willie L. Brown Junior span of the Bay Bridge in 2014.

What are the odds, which type of attack will come first?

Spray Paint: 1 to 1 favorite

Willie Brown is almost universally despised. The naming of this bridge was never put to a vote because Willie Brown would never win it. Ergo, the masses will speak with spray paint, most likely.

Ranged Weapon: 3 to 1

A drive-by shooting with a paintball gun certainly is a possibility. Shooting at a sign with a handgun or rifle, well that’s getting cray-cray.

Close Quarters Combat Weapon: 5 to 1

Shotgun blast, also cray cray.

Chemical attack: 10 to 1

I don’t know how this would work. Perhaps using paint thinner or acid.

Other: 12 to 1

Who knows, medieval mace hurled and embedded, baseball bat, bowling ball, truckasuarus? The mind boggles.

So, do I think it’s appropriate to troll the voting (and non-voting) public into action with this misguided sign deal? Yes.

So, do I think that CalTrans or whomever should have a GoPro or two in the areas of these signs? Yes.

And who will be the happiest when the attacks make the news?

One Willie Brown, srsly. He’ll love the attention

Calling BS on “Coastal Motor Escorts” – Motorcycle Security Guards with Seven Pointed Star Emblems to Look Like the SFPD?

Tuesday, January 14th, 2014

Boy oh boy, do you think that this funeral escort motorcycle driver in the Western Addition has taken steps to appear to be an active-duty peace officer with the SFPD or CHP? Well, I do.

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I’m calling bullshit on the seven-pointed star up front and the squares designed to look like blue lights on the rear. I’ll tell you, there was this whole big deal about officers people in the San Francisco Patrol Special Police wearing seven-pointed stars when really they should all be wearing six-pointers. And blue lights? That should reserved for the real popo, non?

All right, Coastal Motor Escorts, you might have had your application rubber-stamped by the SFPD

“8. Oliveira, Michael  669 Bridgewater Circle, Danville 94526  Funeral Procession Escort  OK Permit;  dba “Coastal Motor Escorts, LLC.”  Permit #: 139056  District: U ID: 4971″

…but that doesn’t mean you have the right to impersonate police, right?

Now let’s learn a bit about this outfit from the San Jose Mercury News:

“QUESTION: Mr. Roadshow, the other day I had a scary encounter with a gun-toting security guard on a motorcycle while traveling on Interstate 880 in San Leandro. I was traveling with the flow of traffic when a white BMW motorcycle with emergency-type lights with “Coastal Motor Escorts” pulled next to my vehicle and began honking his horn and shaking his fist at me. I looked down and noticed my speedometer showed I was going 67 mph. I continued to drive and the motorcycle security guard pulled behind my vehicle and began flashing his high-beam lights at me. I was not sure if I should pull over or continue. There was no funeral procession or other activity and this guy was traveling alone.”

Read on for more deets of this encounter, be my guest.

And this isn’t just in Frisco – read on about what happens elsewhere.

So, I know all the reasons why motorized security guards would like to be perceived as being currently-employed peace officers, but I don’t agree with what Coastal Motor Escorts is doing in San Francisco.

I cry foul.

Well Sure, Malia Cohen and the Supes Just “Banned” Assault Weapons in SF, But They Also Banned Run-of-the-Mill Handguns

Thursday, October 31st, 2013

The news of the day:

Banning assault rifles only scratches the surface.”

Fair enough, except:

1. There are reasons why federal, state, and local authorities haven’t already done the same thing.

Which is also fair enough, as I’m sure Malia Cohen et al are aware of all that. Except:

2. A handgun connected to a 10-round magazine isn’t an assault rifle (of course) and it’s not even an “assault weapon.”

And here’s a test. Would you, gentle reader, call the guns that most of the SFPD strap on every day assault weapons? I don’t think so. So like for instance, “the sergeant drew her assault weapon and pointed it at the suspect.” If you said something like that, I wouldn’t know what you were talking about. Most likely, you’d use the term pistol or handgun or revolver or something like that, right?

So that’s why calling an everyday, run-of-the-mill handgun an “assault weapon”   isn’t the right thing to do.

You’ve gone beyond George Lakoff-style “framing” all the way to Orwellian.

Just saying.

OMG, the SFPD is Now Using Radar Guns to Enforce the New Lower Speed Limit on Masonic – “It’s an Illegal Outrage!”

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013

Well, gee, this is new.

First of all, I’ve never seen the SFPD driving around in one of their new-fangled Ford Taurus POLICE INTERCEPTERS*

And second of all,  I can’t recall seeing the SFPD using handheld radar guns pointed out the rolled-down window of a radio car,** in all my years.

An officer “likes” his Kustom Signals Directional Talon Radar Gun,  pointed southward on Masonic Boulevard over the Labor Day weekend:

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A bystander on one of the gratuitously super-wide sidewalks of Masonic said that this cop using radar on this street was, “an outrage, an illegal outrage.”

Which I don’t think is true, actually.

The SFPD has said for a long time  it uses radar for speed enforcement, but its spokespeople are cagey about it, I don’t know why.

Now I’ll tell you, this scene was south of Fulton (which of course has a much higher maximum speed (35 MPH at least in the Richmond)), compared with Masonic’s 25 MPH) betwixt Hayes and Grove and most of the speeding goes on north of Fulton,  in the hilly area south of Anza, where there are just two signals and they are more or less synced.

Anyway, in a land where we can’t put up proper cell phone towers, the police are allowed to point radar guns at you from cars.

Go figure.

*Which is just a ridiculous name for a car. Intercepter actually can mean something in a military*** setting, but using the term for a regular old police car is 100% marketing. How about “heavy-duty” or “police special” instead, Ford, you know, for your ugly, ugly big-on-the-outside, small-on-the-inside Taurus?

**Radar carts, sure, and the motor patrol, sure, but not from a parked car.

***Yes, the US Coast Guard is a branch of the military, the smallest branch, AAMOF.

San Francisco’s Inexplicable Ban on Guns in Bus Advertising is … Inexplicable? Compare These Two Ads

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

Here is part of the real poster for The Other Guys, a lesser  effort from Will Farrell, a buddy-cop comedy from 2010.

See? He’s a nerd cop with a Prius police car but now he’s shooting a gun:

Now, via SF Weekly, here’s the MUNI bus ad version of that ad, ’cause Guns Is Bad:

SO the SFMTA don’t like guns. Check.

But here’s the latest bus ad from MUNI, showing what, an IDF soldier bayoneting a Palestinian youth with an Uzi or something?

Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly explicates here.

I’ll tell you, I’m curious to see how MUNI censors the ads for the next buddy cop action comedy to come out of Hollywood.

In the meantime. everybody should buy guns!

Lots and lots and lots of guns.