Posts Tagged ‘home’

What It Looks Like When a Furry Holds a Protest in Pacific Heights

Thursday, May 7th, 2015

It looks like this, with a bear and two protesting bear handlers being outnumbered by the press corps:

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Tom Steyer + Hillary Clinton + Keystone XL Pipeline = This

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“Emergency Ride Home” – Will San Francisco Pay For Your Taxi Ride Home If You Bike to Work and Get a Flat Tire? Yes

Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

Here it is, from the San Francisco Department of the Environment:

Emergency Ride Home

This program is similar to those offered by Stanford U, UCMarin County and your major corporations.*

So, if you power your Nissan Leaf all-electric car or ZERO all-electric motorcycle with clean Hetch Hetchy hydroelectricity, SFGov is saying that your commute to work isn’t “sustainable.” OTOH, if you ride in a diesel MUNI bus, your commute is “sustainable? OK, maybe.

Hey, what about the method that SFGov uses to fund retirement pay and medical benefits for all its employees, past, present, and future? Is that sustainable, SFGov? Oh no? OK, SFGov.

And if one of my bikes gets a flat tire, have I ever said to myself, “Oh no, it’s an emergency!”

Nope.

But one supposes that if you had some free money to spend and you wanted to appeal to your bo-bo constituancy, you’d offer the same program.

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Well, this one writes itself. The hardest part will be finding an appealing subject who’s actually used this program already. Take some photos of the victim, you know, probably a her, and make sure have the Financh in the background in the photos, and then throw in a few quotes from a Department Head, and BAM! – you’ve got yourself a Story.

End Of Line

*At some places down in the valley, if you get sick at work your Free Ride Home will be so, so baller, you’ll feel like a billionaire, you know, temporarily anyway, and you’ll tell all your friends about it, and they’ll be so impressed.

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That Long Walk Home: What Happens After a Bike Thief Swipes Your Front Wheel in Ed Lee’s San Francisco

Thursday, March 12th, 2015

As seen in Mid-Market:

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Will You Be Able to Rent Out Your Home for $5000 Per Day During the Upcoming U.S. Open? Sure, Why Not?

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

But, uh oh, no website = trouble?

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Hurry, June 2012 is almost here!

Incredible Teatro ZinZanni (and Pathetic Bauer’s Limousine) Find New Homes After America’s Cup Eviction

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011

Our Teatro ZinZanni has a new home, but Sarah Duxbury says that some heavy lifting still needs to be done.

No matter, TZ’s cabaret performers were on hand all smiles yesterday at the news conference* in the “50 Broadway” parking lot near the Embarcadero. This location will be ZinZanni’s new home, if everything works out.

(I’ll tell you, I can’t tell the difference betwixt Gavin Newsom running the Newsom Administration and Ed Lee running the Newsom Adminstration, fundamentally. I mean, Ed Lee is not an impetuous asshole, so that means he behaves better, he tends to show up at these kinds of functions with a smaller entourage and less drama. That’s good, I s’pose…)

Oh, there he is, to the right of the gorgeous Martian(?) lady: 

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See how this will work? The famous European tent they use will go behind the new building:

All the deets after the jump.

And get over to highly-rated ZinZanni (if you can still get tickets, perhaps on a Wednesday or Thursday) before they shut down on the night of December 31, 2011. It really is quite an experience.

* I didn’t stick around for the Bauer’s “Intelligent” Transportation part of the presser. You know, you really need to work hard at sucking to get a Yelp rating this low.** But Bauer’s is well-connected to SFGov, so there you go, there’s your bidness model.

**Even with the work of shill reviewers avec their bogus five-star ratings…

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Once Again, the San Francisco Examiner Overestimates Demand

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Oh well.

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OMG, Halloween in the Castro is Making a Comeback for 2011 – New Mayor, New Policy? – SFPD Busy With OccupySF

Friday, October 28th, 2011

Have you heard the Word on the Street? It’s that Halloween in the Castro is making a comeback in 2011. So get dressed up and go, if you want.

Now, they won’t shut down the streets and put up fences and charge admission the way they did just a few years back. Oh no. Castro in the Halloween is returning but as a smaller event. You know, the way it was before all the “bros and hos” from Santa Clara County started showing up.

I haven’t heard word one about Halloween being cancelled this year – perhaps a new Mayor has new priorities?

And do you think the cops might be busy raiding (or “training” for raiding) Occupy SF down in the Embarcadero?

Mmmmm…

Anyway, Halloween in the Castro 2011 will be a sedate affair, with delightfully-costumed people milling about.

Thusly.

It will be old-school, with plenty of elbow room, the way it was before the era when cops would shut down streets. Like these scenes from the smallish Halloween in the Castro 2010.

See you there!

Will the Queen of Hearts and the Queen of Diamonds return to the Castro this year?

The stage at 16th, Market, and Noe. A kid from one of San Francisco’s housing projects got mad and shot nine people a little later on this particular evening. Nobody died though:

The Raiders and Niners fan what show up are generally better behaved than the actual fans at the stadiums:

An ocean of people at 17th, Market and Castro, a few years back:

I don’t know if Halloween in the Castro will ever get this big again, but who knows…

Harsh: SFBay Craigslist Gigs Ad Says, “Apple Employees Needed to Search Home (Bernal Heights)”

Sunday, September 4th, 2011

Via a source I fear to mention, well, now this just isn’t right:

SF bay area craigslist > san francisco > gigs > event gigs
Apple emps needed to search home (bernal heights)

Date: 2011-09-04, 7:23PM PDT
Reply to: gigs-rbdxe-2582393831@craigslist.org 

Apple emps needed to search home and car looking for electronic devices. Devices may have faulty antenna please bring own GPS.
Previous law enforcement exp a plus.

Compensation: 300
PostingID: 2582393831″

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When You Get Crowned the Youngest Miss America Ever, Don’t Forget to Thank the Man Upstairs

Monday, January 17th, 2011

You know, before He gets too busy cogitating about the team He’ll pick to win the Super Bowl…

Home schooling plus packing two years of high school into her solitary year there = the youngest Miss America ever, 17 year old Teresa Scanlan.

Teresa Scanlan wins the Miss America Pageant 2011. As the competition comes to a close on January 15, 2011 in Las Vegas. Nevada; International News sites report. Miss Scanlan bested 53 aspirants who vied for the $50,000.00 scholarship prize and from sixteen gorgeous women, who had participated in the finals.”

“Home for Halloween 2010″ – Castro Party Still Cancelled – How Many $$ Spent on Lousy Website? – Gascon Speed-Reads Espanol

Monday, October 18th, 2010

[The Uptown Almanac draws attention to another Gascon video from the same outfit. Is there some volume mixer setting that would render that English-language YouTube video auditorialy legible? And could somebody point me to an event some time in history where David Perry & Associates took our government money and didn’t do a half-assed job?]

First thing you do is check out Home for Halloween 2010 – it’s the biggest POS website that nobody looks at AND it’s one that we paid for.

Now, how much did we pay for it? I don’t know. It could be $10k, $20k, $30k, or $40k – the sky’s the limit. But it’s just like something your kid sister could whip up in an evening free of charge while she’s watching the Glee.

Now, how many people actually look at the Home for Halloween website? Well, You Make The Call – the latest numbers are something like a dismal eight visitors (including a fair share of GoogleBots) a day.

You’d think that it would be a lot cheaper to reach a lot more people if the City just placed a simple banner ad on one of the big local sites like SFist or Curbed SF, but you’d be wrong.

Now, here’s where your money goes, into videos with zero production values. Then they get posted on the YouTube, where they get roundly ignored. For example, here’s George Gascon speed reading Spanish muy rapido with his eyes darting back and forth like the methiest of meth heads. It’s mesmerizing in full-screen even if you don’t habla Espanol.

Check it. Aye, I lost me chief to meth:

Now, I saw him at the Costco once and he’s not like this at all in real life. Of course he’s a good sport, but how effective is this effort if NO SPANISH SPEAKERS WATCHED IT SINCE IT WAS UPLOADED TWO WEEKS AGO? It’s getting a grand total of one-third of a viewer per day.

Wasn’t this video just a big fat waste of time for the Chief?

Now, check out famous Akit’s famous website for all the deets.

Oh well.

Where will these Castro Queens go in 2010? Click to expand:

And where will Fake and Real Frank Chu go this year?

And what about Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan? Where will they and their half-billion friends go?

Oh well.