Posts Tagged ‘horoscope’

And the Award for America’s Thinnest Big-City Newspaper Goes To … Today’s San Francisco Examiner, June 4, 2012

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Boy, I’ll tell you, today’s San Francisco Examiner is like really thin.

[Call and response] “HOW THIN IS IT?!”

It’s so thin that just one ad composes ten percent of it. I’m srlsy.

I don’t know, are they taking pulp out of the newsprint to save money? Sure feels that way. Today’s issue is super thin, even for an Examiner.

But at least the advertisers are better than before. So there’s no “Platinum Gas Saver” scam on page 3, like before. And the super-jumbo horoscope is gone, so that’s nice.

In their place are ads for the Dolan Law Firm (heh), and “Real Hook Ups Real Fast (Ahora en Espanol, 18+), and “ATTENTION MEN” with an offer of a “Test Dose of Medication, to prove it works* in 10 minutes”

OK fine.

But no matter.

I’ll still pick up a copy of the ‘Xam every day.

Religiously.

*Uh, are there really medical offices way up at the 1700 block of Montgomery, deep in NIMBY territory? I guess there are. And then you take the “test dose” and wait ten minutes to see how your wiener reacts while listening to the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill? Sign me up!

If the San Francisco Examiner’s New Years Resolution was to become Thinner and Sexier in 2012, Well, Mission Accomplished

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Uh, hey, has the San Francisco Examiner gotten, I don’t know, a lot thinner recently?

Oh yes.

And does it have, I don’t know, sexier photos?

Oh yes.

Here’s yesterday’s 20-page effort, or ten percent of it, anyway. An almost full-page horoscope and a giant precious metals ad. Hurray!

Click to expand

Uh, could it be that last year’s Phillip Anschutz-owned Examiner was a better read than this year’s Examiner?

I mean, I saw the national editorial stuff in there all the time but I just scanned right through it, it didn’t bother me, I didn’t care.

But at least I had something else to read.

A couple of times recently I turned the pages of the New Examiner seven or so times thinking, seen it, seen it, horoscope, precious metals ad, and then that was it.

Mmmmmm….

Courage.