See?
Battery Street, Financial District, San Francisco, California:
Click to expand
The 1994-1996 Chevy Impala SS ruled America until Old GM shut down B-Platform* production in order to start making SUV’s.
Which animal silhouette would be appropriate for the front of your ride?
The point is that your stripper / prostitute / sex worker types tend to dress waaaay down on the way to work – that’s one of the ways you can spot them.
Rolling in my Eight-One:
Click to expand
Or something…
SFPD CASE #080 986 135, Jordan McKay:
“On September 17, 2008 at approximately 1:40 am, Jordan McKay was riding his bicycle to his Richmond District residence.
Near 15th Ave and Cabrillo, Jordan was accosted by three African American males wearing dark clothing.
A brief altercation occurred and one of the suspects drew a firearm and shot Jordan.
The suspects fled into a vehicle described as possibly a 2006-2008 Chevrolet Impala/Malibu light in color. This vehicle then sped off in a southbound direction.
Anyone with information or questions regarding this case may contact Homicide Inspectors listed below.”
Click to expand
Inspector Daniel Cunningham, Inspector Michael Morley
SFPD Homicide Detail
415-553-1109
SFPD Bay Area Regional Information Center ( BRICC) 24/7
415-553-1071
SFPD Anonymous Tip Line:
415-575-4444
SFPD Text-A-Tip
to: 847411
type: SFPD + msg
SFPD CASE #
080 986 135
The first thing you need to do with your General Motors [1908-2009, R.I.P] B-Platform [1959-1991, R.I.P.] is a lift (some people use stacks of hockey pucks) so you can fit your twenty-something inch wheels beneath. And then you need to tint the windows in violation of the California Vehicle Code. Now, you’re done.
Get your friends inside and you’re ready for a slow roll down Columbus. (Menancing stares through half-closed windows optional.) Thusly:
Click to expand
Of course, you can just go out and buy a B-Body if you don’t have one.
Choose wisely:
Of course you all already know about the 1994-1996 Chevrolet Impala SS General Monkeybusiness B-Body. This one here impresses not with the size of the wheels fitted underneath, but with the sheer parking audacity of completely blocking a fairly wide sidewalk in broad daylight.
What’s stopping somebody from calling 415-553-1200 (dispatch - blocked driveways, sidewalks, etc.) or 311? Nothing, that’s why this parking strategy isn’t sustainable, that’s why drivers generally don’t make a habit of doing this kind of thing. (Personally, it’s not my style to dial, but for some people, it is - see below)
Click to expand
I would agree that it’s probably no picnic trying to park an 18-foot-long vehicle at night on the Streets of San Francisco, but your ride will eventaully get vandalized, ticketed, towed, whatever, depending on the neighborhood. For example, the evening dog walkers of Specific Whites Pacific Heights all have DPT’s phone numbers preprogrammed into their cellies. They’re simply waiting to see something like this blocking their path.
Just saying.
Of course, a few adjustments were necessary…
