Posts Tagged ‘jetblue’

Orange Bridge, Blue Sky, White Airbus: A Very Nice Graphic From JetBlue

Thursday, April 18th, 2013

Don’t you think?

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Oh, and white clouds.

Two Words That Don’t Belong on the Same Press Release Headline Together: “JetBlue and KaBOOM!”

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

You know, like this:

“JetBlue Airways and KaBOOM! Embark on their 15th Playground Build Together”

Speaking of which, do you know how long it’s been since somebody in America got on a big jet plane and then died from an aviation incident?

It’s been 11 years.

It’s been 11 years since a pilot above Lon Guyland destroyed an Airbus by treating his rudder pedals like a StairMaster machine.

KaBoom:

 

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But that was all the way back in 2001.

A pretty good record, non?

When I was as young as you, Gentle Reader, Boeings and Airbuses and McDonnell Douglases and Lockheeds would fall out of the sky all the time. Engines would fall off, planes would crash into each other, terrorists would hijack and whatnot, but the past decade there’s been nothing.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but that was a propeller plane, not a jet.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but that was a little jet, one of them tiny corporate jets, or a “regional” jet, not a “big jet plane.”

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but that was a airport worker what got killed, not a passenger.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but that was a flight leaving Brazil, not a flight leaving or coming to America.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but that was an accident what occurred before 2002.

A remarkable record, IMO.

But even so, “JetBlue Airways and KaBOOM!” probably shouldn’t be so close together on the same press release.

Took my chances on a big jet plane 
Never let them tell you that they’re all the same. 

Airlines Tell Passengers that Oil Price Speculators are Responsible for High Airfares

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

According to the airlines, via that lapdog of the Air Transport Association of America known as Stop Oil Speculation Now, there is a:

force at work that, like gravity, is invisible yet powerful. This force is rampant speculation. Every time you buy products such as food or gas, you are impacted by unregulated, secretive and often foreign commodities futures markets. Speculators in these markets are increasingly buying and selling commodities such as oil even though they have no intention of using the product.

First of all, who wrote this copy? Bob Shrum? Second of all, Hillary Clinton didn’t intend to use all that sugar and eat those cows when she speculated in the commodities markets and nobody complained about that, right? Speculation is now supposed to be a bad thing?

Our corporate overlords are worried:

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Could there be a more likely explanation for high prices for avgas? CBS News offers a few. Is it possible Bill O’Reilly might be wrong? Or, maybe all this talk of speculation being the cause of high fuel prices is just a Nixonian Fallacy.

Check it out and decide for yourself. Maybe you’ll agree that both you and the airlines are being victimized by those invisible, powerful, secretive, foreign forces.

The airlines have to come up with something to explain all those fees and surcharges, right?

I shift the blame
To the worm in the bottle
I shift the blame
To anyone standing before me