Posts Tagged ‘Joe Eskenazi’

Ellis Act Eviction Essays from the Left and Right Sides of the Aisle, Plus a Detached Observer

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

If you use the term moderate, then that implies the opposition is immoderate, right?

So, imagine an aisle. Some are on the left of it and some are on the right of it and some have moved from left to right and some have moved from right to left and some camp out in the middle of the aisle blocking the exits.

In San Francisco, the San Francisco Bay Guardian is on the left side of that aisle and San Francisco Magazine is on the right.

Keep that in mind as you peruse:

The Eviction Crisis That Wasn’t – Why carping about the Ellis Act won’t solve San Francisco’s housing problem by Scott Lucas, January 20, 2014

Ellis Act: So There Isn’t an “Eviction Crisis.” So What? by Joe Eskenazi, Mon., Jan. 20 2014

Debunking SF Mag’s Ellis Act apologist article, point by point by Joe Fitzgerald Rodriguez, 01.20.14

A purposefully-distorted version of an already-stylized image, soon coming to an Asian American Studies curriculum near you, no doubt:

The Cover Story of Tomorrow’s Bay Guardian is a (Very) Left-Handed Endorsement of Tom Ammiano for Mayor of SF

Tuesday, December 31st, 2013

[UPDATE: An easier linkhttp://www.sfbg.com/2014/01/01/rise-candidate-x ]

I’m just at a loss over the cover story of the January 1-7, 2014 San Francisco Bay Guardian - “The Rise of Candidate X”

SPOILER

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Comments:

- Whoo-boy, where to start? Does anybody at the SFBG really believe in this Robert Frost-y, fork-in-the-road, the-Mayor-makes-all-the-difference-in-SF theory? I can’t tell. IRL, there are institutional factors that push the two roads close together, sorry. The biggest difference would be for the actual people involved, like Ed Lee, and some department heads, and some commission members, and the SFGov nomenklatura. I don’t think the City itself would be changed all that much, sorry.

- Now if there’s a fake article from a real reporter on page 10 and a reference to a real article from the same reporter on page 6 and the reporter works for the same company as everybody at the SFBG, would that be cool? Or perhaps confusing to readers?

-Which of the real-life reporters should be most offended by the fake stories on pages 9-13? You Make The Call:

Phil Matier

Andrew Ross

Joe Eskenazi*

Jessica Kwong*

John Wildermuth

Ellen Cushing

Andrew Dalton

Steven T. Jones* (Yes, even STJ)

-Which one of the bits was even remotely entertaining/funny? IDK

-Is there even a remote chance that Scott Wiener or Mark Farrell will both lose reelection? Like IRL and not in a some fever dream prog circle jerk?

-And Candidate X is described as being a man but then also a man or a woman, like it was still unknown by the fake reporters? (I guess I there could be some sort of point here, but somebody’d have to explain it to me.)

-And then it turns out that Candidate X is (sort of) Assemblymember Tom Ammiano after all? I still have a button from his 1999 campaign - and he’s the heretofore unknown candidate?

I’ll be curious to see how people take this.

Appears to be a misfire, JMO

*All employed by “San Francisco Newspaper Company LLC”

 

Is Larry Ellison’s Oracle Team STILL Cheating in the America’s Cup? Isn’t Matt Mitchell “Excluded” from “Sailing” Per the Jury?

Sunday, September 8th, 2013

[UPDATE: Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly has the story. Mitchell being on the boat when it's not "competing" in a race is kosher, per Russell Coutts and International Jury member Bryan Willis. A mystery solved.]

Boy, we’re deep into Bill Clinton-land, it-depends-on-what-the-meaning-of-the-word-”is”- is-ville now.

Is this Matthew Mitchell, who was officially “excluded from sailing on a Yacht competing in the Match for the 34th Americas Cup until 4 races have been completed,” sailing on a Yacht competing in the Match for the 34th Americas Cup before 4 races have been completed?

It sure looks that way to some people, as Mitchell (or somebody wearing his gear) is shown here aboard after Oracle started losing yesterday

Click to expand

Oh well.

Jello “Pudding Drop” Turns Into Mayhem – Dude Takes 1700% More Than Authorized – The Pink Bag Mafia Strikes

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Joe Eskenazi and Anna Latino were there early.

I dropped by later on and ended up seeing the exact same things they saw – it was as if Groundhog Day had come three days late.

It was Brother against Brother:

Good times.

Central Subway Update: Aaron Peskin and Quentin Kopp Object to World’s Shortest and Most Expensive Subway Line

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

It looks like it will be up to Congress to stop the horrible, out-of-control Central Subway Project. That’s our last chance.

Click on the 13-minute video below to listen to former Board of Supervisors President Aaron Peskin succinctly make the case for killing this turkey.

And here’s some coverage from the local press:

Joe Eskenazi of SF Weekly: Central Subway Critics: Costly Boondoggle Can Still Be Stopped

Michael Cabanatuan of the San Francisco Chronicle: Reinforcements enlisted in battle against Central Subway

KQED: SF Central Subway Opponents Worry About ‘Blank Check

And oh, hey, what about San Francisco’s #1 Mayor Ed Lee Kiss-Ass / Suck-up, you know, San Francisco Chronicle writer CW Nevius, what does he think of the Central Subway?

Nevius: Chinatown subway plan makes me wince

Oh, but that was all the way back in 2008 and, you know, these days The Nevius doesn’t have the stones, apparently, to comment about this particular boondoggle anymore. Oh well.

Enjoy:

(Is Aaron Peskin a good public speaker?

Yes, Aaron Peskin a good public speaker.)

And oh, how can Federal Transit Administration leader Peter Rogoff get away with saying that the Central Subway will reduce trip time from 27 minutes to 7 minutes?

This is a complete fantasy.

Is he seriously misinformed or is he lying? I can’t tell.

Does he mean that the pink bag mafia will spend an average of seven minutes descending 30+ yards down into Mother Earth and waiting for the short line? Is that what he means? But that by itself doesn’t get you anywhere you want to go. It just gets you 30 yards beneath C-Town.

Anyway Congress, please, please, please kill this boondoggery.

America’s Cup Give-A-Way to Larry Ellison Cancelled, Hurray – Leave Us Give Thanks to Aaron Peskin and Joe Eskenazi

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Appears as if the independent works of Democratic Party Leader Aaron Peskin and SFWeekly Writer Joe Eskenazi (and others too, I’m sure, but I don’t know exactly) have just saved San Francisco something on the order of nine figures.

Hurray.

What is the America’s Cup?

Click to expand

Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi a Serial Shoplifter? Losing the PR War – How Does One “Reposition” Felonies?

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

Per Matier & Ross, and, ultimately, per Neiman & Marcus, Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi is now suspected of being a serial shoplifter down in Union Square. That’s the latest.

Via Tom Abate 

The “PR man” mentioned above by M&R is Sam Singer, who’s all:

I’m thankful there are problems and controversies and disasters because it gives me a chance to ply my trade, which is to refocus and reposition things.”

I suppose this means that Sam is feeding tidbits to the media, as he did with the Tatiana the Tiger Christmas killings at the San Francisco Zoo back in 2007. But the problem is that this time, Sam has a much tougher row to hoe. So far, the statements attributed to him sound exactly like what a defense attorney would say.

How is that helpful?

Just asking.

Here’s how things might go, ala Winona Ryder:

“Ryder was convicted of grand theftshoplifting and vandalism, but was acquitted on the third felony charge, burglary. In December 2002, she was sentenced to three years’ probation, 480 hours of community service, $3,700 in fines, $6,355 in restitution to the Saks Fifth Avenue store, and ordered to attend psychological and drug counseling. After reviewing Ryder’s probation report, Superior Court Judge Elden Fox noted that Ryder served 480 hours of community service and on June 18, 2004, the felonies were reduced to misdemeanors. Ryder remained on probation until December 2005.”

And here’s a unconvincing defense of Winona, who I’m sure would admit now, after counseling, that she had a problem with shoplifting back in the day…

Shoplifting Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi’s SFPD Mugshot Profile + Trying to Understand Her Flackmeister’s Stories

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

[UPDATE: Matier and Ross have more on this case - the prior suspicious behavior may have come a week earlier.]

Assemblywoman Mary Hayashi, D-Castro Valley is having trouble lately, in case you hadn’t noticed.

This look is called (by SF Weekly writer Joe Eskenazi, who deserves a Thanksgiving break more than most after birthing this week’s five-page monster) a scowl? All right.

Via Tom Abate

Here’s story number one:

Hayashi spokesman Sam Singer called the assemblywoman’s arrest a mistake, saying she had walked out of the store with the items unintentionally and intended to go back.”

First of all, the arrest was proper, since it’s not the job of responding officers to conduct a mini-trial on the sidewalks of Union Square over whether Mary Hayashi knew she was shoplifting or not. Leaving that aside, let’s work out the timeline.

1. Hayashi puts the lotion in the basket clothes in a bag.

2. Hayashi walks out of the store.

3. Hayashi at some point forms the intention to go back to the store. 

All right, that’s story number one.

Here’s number two:

Through spokesman Sam Singer, Hayashi has said she was distracted by using a cellphone while shopping inside Neiman Marcus and mistakenly stepped outside, where she was stopped before she could correct her error.”

To sum up:

1. Hayashi puts the clothes in a bag.

2. Hayashi walks out of the store.

3. Hayashi gets busted.

So, in order for this all to make sense, in order for this tall tale to be wrong but at least internally consistant, it would have to go like this:

1. Hayashi puts the clothes in a bag.

2. Hayashi walks out of the store.

3. Hayashi at some point forms the intention to go back to the store. 

4. But, just at after that moment when she formed the intent to return but before she actually began to return, she got busted.

Does that make sense?

(Oh, your spokesman misspoke maybe? How convenient. Hey should the Bill of Rights should be reinterpreted to afford all whose “liberty interests” are threatened not only the Right to Counsel but also the Right to Flackmeister? I mean, why should only the 1% of the accused be able to benefit from the beneficial services of a spokesperson?)

Oh, now about this, from Matier and Rossi Asti Spumante:

A source tells us that store employees thought Hayashi was acting suspiciously Oct. 24 before she entered a dressing room to try on some clothes. Those suspicions were reinforced when she came out with a Neiman bag in her hand, but not all the merchandise she had carried in, said the source, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the continuing investigation. A surveillance camera later filmed Hayashi leaving the store with the bag, at which point security guards detained her.”

I see. So under this scenario, Hayashi:

1. Acted suspiciously, attracting attention to herself from the get-go.

2. Then, she put the clothes in a bag inside a dressing room and then walked out, apparently with fewer articles than when she walked in, reinforcing the original suspicions.

3. And then, due to her talking on a cell-phone or texting or something, she “forgot” to pay for her stuff at the very same time that she was getting a load of attention from store security. Darn the luck!

Isn’t it curious about how Mary Hayashi has done work on the “Asian-American culture of silence surrounding mental illness” and yet, with her own case of mental dysfunction, she offers… silence, keeping the “Asian-American culture of silence” chugging right along. Wouldn’t it be more helpful to explore the subject of why you wanted an obscenely-overpriced pair of useless leather pants so much that you were willing to commit a felony to get them? Are $1000 pairs of leather pants marked up 400% really going to make you happy? 

Wouldn’t paying money for therapy be a better idea than paying money for Sam Singer? One choice would get you a  professional who would try to help you while the other would get you someone who would try to profit as an enabler. Your pick, MH.

(And hey, speaking of options, what about this, what about going back and buying the exact same set of clothes you got caught with? I mean, you wanted them anyway and, as a bonus, that couldn’t hurt your case, right? And, being a bit blunt here, you have a mental health issue, so why not seek treatment? Why not let that be the upshot of this whole thing? Personally, I don’t think you should worry about being a role model for anybody or any group or anything. But to the extent that you are, what’s wrong with trying to get help and then telling people about it. I don’t think that would be TMI at all. And what if you get convicted of or plead guilty to a misdemeanor? Life goes on, right. You’d get probation (and, be sure to ask your mouthpiece about this, after you’re on probation you can petition the judge to have it end early) and then that would be it. You won’t become a state Senator under this scenario, but most people don’t get that chance and they don’t worry about it. Why stress out over politics? There are other things in Life.)

And then there’s this:

“…she believes this will be cleared up in the near future.”

Really? But all those phone calls to Needless Markup World HQ in Texas, which could have possibly cleared things up, haven’t done the trick yet, have they?

Oh well.

And hey would this incident explain why she ran through five Chiefs of Staff in five years? Take your pick – those firings could relate to the unbelievable I’m-a-zombie-I-didn’t-realize-I-was-shoplifting explanation or the I’m-so-Special-I-don’t-need-to-pay explanation.

On It Goes…

The Streets of San Francisco: SFMTA Rips Off Famous MUNI Critic Greg Dewar and His N Judah Chronicles

Friday, July 1st, 2011

This bus ad doesn’t say The Streets of San Francisco, oh no, it says The Treats of San Francisco.

See? (The fine print in the ad says that MUNI has permission from CBS to run to use the SoSF logo, so everything’s nice and legal.)

Click to expand.

Isn’t this ad kind of a rip-off of Greg Dewar’s N Judah Chronicles?

Signs point to yes.

Speaking of whom, here’s MUNI’s Death Spiral from Greg Dewar and Joe Eskenazi. (Boy, the head of MUNI at the time just flipped out, I mean, really flipped out over this bit in the SF Weekly from last year. He hosted a big meeting in response to this one article. It was epic, I’ve been told.)

Anyway, do you know what that “treat” is, the one referenced in the MUNI ad?

It’s the price increase what starts today.

Hurray!

Down the Memory Hole – Anti-Gavin Newsom Blog Post Disappears

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Is it possible for a blog post to just disappear in This Day and Age?

Who knows why Cameron Scott’s Thin Green Line bit from yesterday’s SFGate left us. But it went a little something like this: 

“It’s something transit experts imply but never say: The mayor is the problem. Despite his big talk on green efforts, Gavin Newsom does not support public transit when you get right down to it. Two new reports today make that abundantly clear. Last week’s SFWeekly article analyzing Muni’s…”

This off-message message is all gone, and some are compelled to, not unreasonably,  jump to conclusions.  

Anyway, here’s a little more from yesterday’s “Newsom: Not pro-transit

That’s the best I can do.

How about you? Can you find a cached version of the entire bit?

I defy you to try.

Oh! So that’s how it works. I see you what you’re doing there, Google. The N-Judah Chronicles chronicles the story of the cache.

And here are the three other most offensive points from the bit: