The San Francisco Citizen

The first two days of ChihulyPalooza in Golden Gate Park were well attended, despite the admonishment of New Republic Art Critic Jed Perl:

Everybody rushes to the Museum of Modern Art and the De Young, two overblown buildings with sporadically important collections, while the most beautiful museum in the city–the Legion of Honor, in which masterpieces by Watteau, Le Nain, and Seurat have been given a thrillingly elegant installation- -is hardly ever mentioned.

Well, consider the Legion mentioned, Mr. Perl. Now on with the show:

Director John Buchanan speaking with Dale Chihuly earlier at the preview. Click to expand:

Let’s head outside to see the spectacle in front of the museum. A man controlling his metallic fire animals obscured by propane gas:

The Crucible’s Educational Response Vehicle. Have anvil, will travel:

The thrill of sending a plume of fire skyward the first time:

A bed of nails with a fretful ballerina on top:

And inside the museum, cherubs everywhere:

See you there!

Here’s the situation. This recent photo shows an interstate bus parked in the westbound bike lane of John F. Kennedy Drive in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. Of course the curb is painted red so people shouldn’t park there, but they do. 

So where should a bike rider go? Well, around the bus of course, but that seems a tad on the dangerous side. For some odd reason, somebody decided that JFK should have the widest bike lanes in all of Christendom. And there’s an old tunnel under the road so it has a little kink, as seen here, right in front of the Conservatory of Flowers.

When you’re mapping things out in an ivory tower (ala the abysmal Octavia Boulevard) it’s a little tough to see how things will work out in real life.  

In real life, pugnacious-looking, Norman Maileresque bus drivers will park their 8.5 foot wide rigs wherever the Hell they want.

So, is there another way to handle the striping on this piece of road? Maybe compromise on bike lane width? Maybe take out parking on the eastbound side of the street? Anything?  

John Buchanan, Director of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, calls it “Chihulypalooza.” Dale himself says that he and Team Chihuly “went all out” to put on Chihuly at the de Young. This thing is huge. It’s the Largest Show He’s Ever Done.

Strike a pose. Dale Chihuly in front of Neodymium Reeds

It all starts Saturday. This weekend is called Chihuly Opening Weekend Sponsored by Target. So admission will be free. But things will get start getting hectic on Saturday so be sure to check out the rules.

You might even be tempted to sign up for a Participating or Family Membership just for the perks. (It’s cheaper than you’d expect and about half the cost of similar memberships at the soon to be completed California Academy of Sciences.)

Download the MP3 (or even a picture enabled M4A) to hear all about it, or wait and then pay a small fee for the Antenna Audio Tour.

The Schedule of Events. On both Saturday and Sunday, you’ll be able to see: 

The Crucible’s Educational Response Vehicle (stations will be set up near and around the vehicle showcasing demonstrations of blacksmithing, arc welding, glass flame working and oxy-acetylene torch cutting - plus they will be pouring bronze!), the Von Stilt Family stilt walkers, and the Chihuly at the Hot Shop documentary.

For Saturday only, you’ll be able to see:

Sideshow Spectacular by $teve Ra$pa Productions (DJ Neon Bunny, extreme jugglers, contortionists, acrobatics, hula hoops, and musical saws and accordions), Japonize Elephants (ten-piece musical ensemble includes glockenspiel, junk percussion, and accordion, along with guitar, bass, flute, saxophone, trumpet, fiddle, banjo, and vocals), and they’ll be hands-on art activities for the entire family, including Texture Tower, Color Collage, and Undersea World Creatures.

And on Sunday, you’ll be able to see:

Blue Monk Combo (jazz ensemble of recent graduates from San Rafael High School), Space Heater Blast Furnace (a combination of woodwind melodies and harmonies with noisy, machine funk), Bellow and Pluck: Rich Kuhns and Seward McCain (an eclectic combo of jazz, tango, Latin styles, and the occasional Beatles selection), Fishtank Ensemble (a unique blend of Gypsy, Balkan, Flamenco, Klezmer, and original tunes), Loop!Station: Robin Coomer and Sam Bass (live sampling and looping), Gregangelo and Velocity Circus, Les Aerials: Trapeze Arts, Foo Foo Ha! (mini circus vignettes and dance routines), Musical Chanteusse Nicolette (performance, side show artist Herbie Hatman entertains with body deyfying feats), Dale Chihuly presenting a one-hour talk about his life’s work with an introduction by Timothy Anglin Burgard, Ednah Root Curator-in-Charge of the American Art Department (tickets no longer available, sorry), and the day will end with book signing with Dale himself).

See you there!

The eleven rooms, in order. Almost all the things here are much taller than you are - they’re huge.  

Click to expand: 

Room 1: Glass Forest 3, milk-glass and neon: 

Room 2:

Room 3, Persian Wall:

Room 4, Tabac baskets plus Pendletons:

Room 5:

Room 6, Neodymium Reeds: 

Room 7, Float Boats:

Room 8, Five Chandeliers: Ruby Red, Turquoise Icicle, Orange Hornet and Eelgrass, Chiostro di Sant’ Apollonia, and Palazzo de Loredana Balboni:

Room 9:

The view of Room 11 from Room 10 (the installation you can see through the doorway is 18 yards long):

Room 10, ceiling, looking up:

Room 11, Mille Fiori:

Full-service public relations and public affairs consultancy Hill and Knowltonannounced today that former vice president Al Gore, upon his death, will be encased in carbonite and then buried. This type of carbon capture and sequestration (CCS) was only made possible this year through the use of nanotechnology.

Until recently this was our understanding of carbonite, made famous in Star Wars V - The Empire Strikes Back:

“By the rules of chemical nomenclature, the formula for a “carbonite anion” would be CO22-, which is thought to be an impossible formation (methanoate being preferentially formed instead).”

Impossible no longer.

Artist’s conception of the former vice president encased in the densest form of carbon known to man:

Just one treatment of this double carbon material will take the equivalent of 1200 metric tonnes of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. The only downside will be the expense of a slightly oversized coffin. The upside is that Al Gore, Jr. will be the most severely carbon negative person in recorded history.

A relieved Hill & Knowlton spokesperson confided to one reporter that this announcement will lay to rest the controversy over the greenhouse emissions of Al Gore’s house, for some reason an issue of almost daily concern to the D.C.-based House of Flack.

If only Han Solo were alive to see this day…

News comes today that the City and County of San Francisco is denying the claim made Amritpal and Kulbir Dhaliwal regarding the Christmas Day tiger attack last year upon Carlos Souza, Jr.

Why? You’ll just have to read the 84-page lease agreement between San Francisco and the San Francisco Zoo to find out.

Dennis Herrera is a crackerjack attorney, so he and his team aren’t going to make things easy for those trying to make money off of this tragedy. It’s not like San Francisco has a lot of extra sourdough to send down to the counties of Santa Clara and Los Angeles. 

Let’s all hope that the new and improved big cat grottos will be less vulnerable to any kind of harassment, even the “boys will be boys” fatal type of harassment.