San Francisco Citizen

Well this is how things were shaping up way back last year,  when the fun-loving North Bay Bros of Autodesk teamed up with East Bay radio personality Sandy Beach, J Crew, Sam Francisco, Greek Aphrodite, oh, “Roman Mars” to redesign our official flag.

Now, at the time, the plan was to have a contest or something with a “San Francisco official” giving input, you know, for color of authority. But here in the West Bay, this scheme might not be all that popular, so I was wondering who was going to step up to climb up the flagpole / lightning rod, you know, for no good reason.

Well, nobody’s stepped up yet, just saying. So that means things are behind schedule, since all this was supposed to get going last year.

And when I say things, I mean, there’s no way that you could come up with one new flag design that would get voted in over the current version, so the effort is to first get people to agree to chuck the old flag and only then come up with the replacement. The auslanders have decided on a two-stage process for us.

And when I say voted in, I mean that the People Of SF would eventually be able to weigh in with big fat VETO stamp, in one fashion or another. (Remember when Our Designerly Community tried to wholesale change the official flag of Iraq? It didn’t go so hot. That’s something to consider, College Boy. And remember this recent attempt to change the UC logo? (I wonder if we ever got our money back for that one?))

And I mean that Mayor Ed Lee right now has never been more unpopular right? So, who’s going to step up to shepherd this New Flag plan?

I know not.

Anyway, let’s see if 2016 shakes out better for this misguided effort…

Here it is: http://www.sanfranciscoflag.com/

1. First of all, that’s a nice old-tyme skyline photo you got there – what is it, pre-Cosco Busan? It’s certainly pre-One Rincon – that’s what jumps out at me. Hey, does “good design” prevent giving credit for the best element of your new website? Let’s fix that: Christian Mehlführer, AKA User: Chmehl. of Vienna, Austria. Bro goes around the world, around the wo-orld to take good photos, right?

2. The designerly name: “Roman Mars.” Mmmm…  (It detracts, it distracts, non?) Well, my name is Ares Greek – pleased to meet you!

3. Ted Talk? Strike two!

4. Driving people to an 18-minute video instead of typing out your manifesto with bullet points? Does that work? (It didn’t work on me, sorry.)

5. Already being on double-secret logo probation for supporting UC’s recent inchoate “good-design” logo/monogram/whatever effort.

So those are the comments.

In mitigation:

1. 99% Invisible is 99% good. It’s excellent, you know, generally, when it’s not taking time out to defend the Designerly Community.

2. The Bros of AutoDesk are all right as well. Just look at them maintaining focus under heavy pressure back when the Bay to Breakers fun run wasn’t completely shaped by an unholy alliance of Christian Billionaire Philip Anschutz + touchy millionaire NIMBY homeowners:

But why would Autodesk want to kill our flag? 

I’ll tell you, our flag is bad-ass. Look what you can do with it:

You want to talk history? Let’s talk history – see below, from the Wiki.

In closing, The Bird Is The Word. And if you succeed* in changing it significantly, I’ll work tirelessly to get it changed back. 

END OF LINE.

UPDATE:  INSIDE THE CAMPAIGN TO REDESIGN SF’S SUCK-TASTIC FLAG

“the reason people don’t use it often is kind of an obvious one: it’s not very good.” UH, NOPE! “OBVIOUS” TO YOU, PERHAPS.

“a symbol that San Franciscans tend to rally behind” UH, COULD THERE BE _OTHER_ REASONS WE DON’T “TEND TO RALLY BEHIND” ANY PARTICULAR SYMBOL?

“overhaul?” YOU MEAN _COMPLETELY REPLACE_, RIGHT?

“design community?” AHAHAHAHAHAHA! “WE FEW, WE PROUD, DESIGNERLY FEW!”

“Does it really matter if San Francisco has a better flag or not?” GOOD QUESTION. NOPE!

“San Francisco has a chance to define its values through an enduring, recognizable symbol.” MEH. BUT IF YOU WANT TO GET STARTED, HIRE A LOBBYIST TO START LOBBYING THE SUPES. IT’LL RUN YOU SOMETHING LIKE $10,000 A MONTH FOR MANY, MANY MONTHS. WELCOME TO FRISCO, OAKLANDER. P.S. HEY, GUESS WHAT – YOUR FLAG SUCKS TOO. IT VIOLATES ALL THE RULES ME AND MY CREW MADE UP. LET’S CHANGE IT NOW. TO WHAT, I DON’T KNOW, I WON’T SAY. JUST ANYTHING BUT AN OAK TREE, WHICH, YOU KNOW, HAS BEEN DONE, LIKE BY PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND AND MANY OTHERS. PLUS, IT SAYS “OAKLAND” RIGHT ON THE THING. WHAT COULD BE MORE BANAL? KELL DOMAGE!

Reader notes:

Caption from “War & Dissent: The U.S. in the Philippines, 1898-1902″ exhibit. Curated by Randolph Delehanty, Ph.D. of the Presidio Trust.

“In 1900, banker and art patron Mayor James Duval Phelan, mayor from 1897 to 1902, recommended to the Board of Supervisors that San Francisco adopt a flag and motto. Over 100 designs were submitted and John M. Gamble’s proposal was selected. It depicts a phoenix rising from its ashes on a white field. The mythological phoenix appears in many ancient cultures and is a symbol of immortality. When the long-lived phoenix feels death is near, it builds a nest of aromatic wood and sets it afire. A new phoenix then arises from the ashes, just as San Francisco arose from the great fires of the 1850s. The motto “Oro en paz y fierro en guerra” “Gold in Peace and Iron in War” refers to the city’s then-recent experience during the Spanish–American War as the embarkation point for troops to the Philippines in 1898.”

*The primary way our elites end up successfully imposing their “good design” upon San Franciscans is through turning an aesthetic issue into a health and safety** matter.

**See how that works? The high school student who hasn’t actually hurt anybody IRLAFAIK is described as one who has “hurt a lot of people.” And in this town, some who are convicted of homicides end up getting probation or something like several months in jail…