Posts Tagged ‘lawn’

The San Francisco Equivalent to Parking on the Lawn

Wednesday, January 4th, 2012

Here it is.

(Any lawns are long-gone by now.)

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Do San Francisco homeowners do this?

Yes, San Francisco homeowners do.

Russian Orthodox House: Onion Dome, Pumpkin, White Prius, Black Prius – Parking on the Front Lawn

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

This is how San Francisco millionaires live:

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And inside the garage? A silver Prius, natch.

The Great Parking Lot of Northern San Francisco Gets Greened Over – 700 Free Parking Spots Gone at Main Post

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Not that I care about the lost parking spaces…

Check out the video, right here:

I think Don Fisher of The Gap paid for this operation what cost millions.

The Presidio people were supposed to have reopened the moribund Main Post Theatre by now but the Infamous NIMBYs of the Marina District and the Greedy Owners of Nearby Movie Theatres put a stop to that.

Oh well.

It Takes a Village to Shoot a Wedding: Sleepy Bride Photographed Taking a Nap in Golden Gate Park

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Or something:

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Perhaps they later sped to the Financh in time for an evening drive photo shoot in the middle of Market street with the cars whizzing by?

We can only hope…

Impressions, Strybing: There’s a Riot of Color Going On in Golden Gate Park These Days, For Those Who Break the Boycott

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011

This is what you can see inside Strybing Arboretum this time of year:

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And outside, what you’ll see are a bunch of tourists debating the merits of paying $28 or whatever to enter the gates. Usually, they walk off dejectedly.

Oh well.

Take a Look at Strybing Arboretum (aka San Francisco Botanical Garden) After the Admissions Boycott

Thursday, June 16th, 2011

Why does our Strybing Arboretum (aka San Francisco Botanical Garden) need to become “world-class?”

Nobody’s ever explained that one to me. But that’s the rationale for charging admission these days (after six decades of free admission.)

Now, why isn’t our Strybing Arboretum called Strybing Arboretum anymore?

So it can become “world-class.” (Apparently, naming an arboretum after the woman who gave the money to start things up is considered provincial Back East. Plus Founder Helene Strybing made the mistake of becoming old and dying so nobody gives a ROMEO ALPHA about her anymore.)

Anyway, they started charging admission so the place turned into a ghost town, a “museum of plants and trees.”

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Oh well.

They said if things didn’t work out, they’d stop charging admission.

They said.

Check Out the New Ticket Booths for Strybing Arboretum – Would You Want to Work in This Box for $11 Per Hour?

Friday, June 10th, 2011

Here are your deets for the new ticket booths at the San Francisco Botanical Garden:

59K for kiosks

And here’s your bill:

And here’s what they look like. Yes, there’s a bathroom in there:

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Myself, I haven’t been back into Strybing (except to poke my head in to see how few people are there) since they started charging admission.

Maybe I’ll visit again when they stop charging…

But these booths need hawkers, you know, just like the strip clubs in North Beach. Why don’t you sign up?

You’ll need sales skills of course. Check out the job posting below.

BTW, your pay as a  “Garden Ambassador” will be $9.92 below minimum wage (aka nothing) and your commission will be zero (0) percent. (Can you imagine what hawkers would do on slow days if they got paid a commish of one dollar per entry ticket? OMG,

“Description

Greet visitors at the North Gate of the Botanical Garden and encourage them to visit this outstanding garden. Many visitors approach the admissions kiosk and don’t know about the amazing garden that lies just beyond the gates.

Skills

  • Public Speaking, Sales

Requirements

Willingness to approach the public. Ability to communicate effectively and persuasively. Sincere desire to share basic knowledge about the Garden. Genuine love and appreciation for the SF Botanical Garden.”

Bay to Breakers 100: All You Need to Know – How They Lie About Alcohol Every Year – New Booze Store Map

Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

Comes now Sam Singer, who gets paid to spread the Party Line about the historic Bay to Breakers Street Party and Fun Run coming up this Sunday:

Bay to Breakers goes dry with new no-alcohol rules”

Now, wasn’t alcohol banned the year before and the year before and the year before? Yep.

So, the new rules aren’t new at all, are they?

So, in 2010, alcohol was banned. In 2009, alcohol was banned. In 2008, alcohol was banned….

And yet:

Via Jean W – Click to expand

Has anybody ever been arrested at a BtoB for alcohol possession? I don’t know, maybe some mouthy minors have. What I’ve seen myself is the SFPD taking away people’s alcohol or making them pour it out. Oh well.

Leave us not forget the “tipping points,” the years when things went too far in the opinion of the white, aging, home-owning, Prop 8-supporting millionaires and billionaires who get upset every year.

So, in 2008, 2007 was the “tipping point.”

In 2009, 2008 was the tipping point.

In 2010, 2009 was the tipping point.

And in 2011:

Last year was the tipping point,” said David Perry, who was hired by the city to help publicize the new rules. “Last year was such a mess that organizers, the city and (police) decided we had to change something.”

And you know, for all the talk, there are years where nobody gets arrested at one of the biggest street parties left in the 415.

All right, here’s the new likka sto map from Exercising While Intoxicated:

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Now the homeowner’s associations of the Western Addition are pressuring area stores to not open on Sunday morning, to not sell alcohol. The people at the stores where I’ve visited think that’s a laughable idea. (Anyway, I’ll check and see how effective our local Taliban’s anti-alcohol campaign is come Sunday.)

All right, get the latest updates here, at the People for the Preservation of Bay2Breakers.

See you Sunday!

Bay to Breakers Organizers Admit Past Mismanagement By Doubling Port-a-Potties for 2011 – Be a “Potty Hero”

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

Now, I don’t recommend registering for the annual Bay to Breakers Fun Run and Street Party, cause what you’re pretty much doing is putting money into the pockets of a Colorado billionaire, who, in turn, puts money into the pockets of the anti-gay Yes on Prop 8 campaign.

But that’s how you roll, that’s fine.

But hey, look what they have for you this year – the Zazzle people sponsoring the 100th anniversary are going to monitor you during the race to see how much of your urine gets into a port-a-potty. And if you do well enough, then you’re going to get a garish, lime-green wristband. Hurray!

See?

And, if you’re a straight, millionaire, white, wizened homeowner who moved into the Western Addition thinking it was something else (like Hayes Valley or “NoPA”), well urine luck. Look at this, free neon-pink lawn signs, you know, for your front lawn, the one you mow every Saturday morning along with all your neighbors.*

See how garish and San Mateo County there are? Hurray!

Here’s the email for the signs, but I’ll tell you, the nail that stands up gets hammered down and the duck that quacks gets shot, or something. Anyway, freepottysign@zazzle.com.

All right, enjoy your street party on Sunday!

*Uh, the Western Addition is loaded with bossy old white people these days, sure, but front lawns? Not so much. Perhaps you should visit sometime, Zazzle, when you take a break from making things that nobody needs…