Posts Tagged ‘lawn’

Front Lawn, Frisco, During the Great Drought of Aught 15-16

Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

How would you water this wobbly putting green high up near Turtle Hill / Grand View Park? Do you wait for the rain of Yosemite to accumulate and then make its way through hundreds of miles of the Hetch Hetchy Aqueduct to get to Frisco and then have somebody pump it up to your house so that you can waste “America’s Best Drinking Water” for your own suburban-style glorification?

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I think that’s the system, man.

But brown is the new green, man.

Ferry Bocce: Historic OccupySF Site Now Used for Bocce Ball – A Playground for Children was the Alternative

Friday, June 17th, 2016

I’ve never seen this bocce court at the south end of Justin Herman Plaza used for league play, but it looks like somebody’s making a stab at it now.

This was in the middle of the day. serving alcohol to passersby?

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And here are your sponsors:

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Well at least they’re finally using this wasted space for something. Except for Occupy, this place has been a town for ghosts the past half-decade

A playground would have worked better here, IMO. They put one in at the extreme north end at Washington, yes, but what I’m saying is that a playground would have worked better here…

San Francisco Story: You Can Afford a Mercedes Benz But Not a Parking Space for It – So You Park on the Front “Lawn”

Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

There used to be grass here, ‘neath this Benz, but it’s gone.

Long gone.

So now all you need to do is twist 90 degrees and you’re parked:

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Oh Lord, won’t you park me my Mercedes Benz/
My friends all have Uber, I must make amends/

It Takes a Village To Mow The Lawn: RPD Rolls in the Heavy Equipment to Sustain the (Ultimately) Unsustainable Turf of the Panhandle

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Hey, here’s an idea – why not let’s give up on maintaining all this quite unnatural turf betwixt Fell and Oak?

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What are we operating here, the grounds of Downton Abbey 94117?

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We’re in a drought, right?

Parking On The Lawn, Frisco-Style, Special Western Addition Gentrifier Edition, Complete with a Volvo Wagon

Monday, May 18th, 2015

I think a Smart Car could actually fit in this “parking space” in the Western Addition and I also think that this Volvo overhangs the public sidewalk on a daily basis, you know, for the past few years:

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Verdict: Yellow Card. This is a clever solution for saving money, but not executed 100% properly.

The Frisco Version of Parking On The Front Lawn – Except There’s No Lawn Anymore

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

And whats’ that, your Mercedes hangs over the sidewalk sometimes, but that’s OK ’cause your wheels are all on private propertah?

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OK fine!

Usually People Get a Car and Then Find a Parking Space, But in Frisco You Get a Parking Space and Then Find a Car to Fit Into It

Thursday, April 23rd, 2015


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A SmartCar Four-Two and its four-seat doppelganger, the Toyota Scion iQ – these are the cars to get after you secretly pave over your front lawn, you know, hoping nobody notices…

The US Attorney’s Office Throws Down: Reaches $80k Settlement with Fremont Apt. Complex for Discrimination Against Families

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

First, take a look at this review on YP.Com:

“This place is awful!!! DO NOT MOVE HERE IF YOU HAVE KIDS!!! They act like they are family friendly but they most certainly are not. We were constantly harrassed for our 2 yr old’s night mares. We were threatened with calls to CPS because "we let him cry for more than 10 minutes", we called the police department to find out what our rights were and go figure we were doing nothing wrong. I would wake up to nasty messages from the manager about my bad parenting. Right before we moved they posted notice on all the tenants’ doors saying that kids were no longer allowed in the courtyard regardless of supervision. It said more specifically that parents were lazy and needed to make time for their kids and take them to park to play…

That was the wind-up, now here’s the pitch:

Justice Department Obtains $80,000 Settlement In Housing Discrimination Lawsuit Against California Landlord

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE July 25, 2014 – WASHINGTON – The Justice Department today announced an agreement with the owners and operators of Woodland Garden Apartments in Fremont, California, to settle allegations of discrimination against families with children. Under the consent order, which must still be approved by the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California, the defendants are required to pay $77,500 to the victims of their discrimination and an additional $2,500 to the government as a civil penalty. The settlement resolves a complaint filed by the department on Oct. 25, 2013.

The lawsuit alleged that the apartment complex maintained rules that discriminated against families with children in violation of the Fair Housing Act. Specifically, the lawsuit challenged a rule that prohibited children from playing outside in the common grassy areas of the complex and provided that families would be evicted if they violated this rule. The lawsuit also alleged that the actions of the defendants constituted a pattern or practice of discrimination.


The Outer Richmond District: Where Every Day is Christmas and Every Night is New Year’s Eve – Parking on the “Lawn”

Monday, July 7th, 2014

When SFGov hasn’t the will to enforce the laws and regs it enacts and you ask them about it, a  govt rep will start talking  about “complaint-driven” enforcement.

And that means no enforcement at all.

So feel free to pave over your front yard and then paint your brand-new parking spaces in alternating red and green, you know, to celebrate, Christmas-style:

(Actually, the most exciting time in the Outer Richmond is the evening of the Fourth of July and the morning of the Fifth of July, what with the illegal fireworks and all…)

Oh Outer Richmond:

You’ve got the biggest heart
Sometimes I think you’re just too good for me
Every day is Christmas, and every night is New Year’s Eve
Will you keep on loving me
Will you keep on, will you keep on
Bringing out the best in me?