There used to be grass here, ‘neath this Benz, but it’s gone.
So now all you need to do is twist 90 degrees and you’re parked:
Oh Lord, won’t you park me my Mercedes Benz/
My friends all have Uber, I must make amends/
A SmartCar Four-Two and its four-seat doppelganger, the Toyota Scion iQ – these are the cars to get after you secretly pave over your front lawn, you know, hoping nobody notices…
“This place is awful!!! DO NOT MOVE HERE IF YOU HAVE KIDS!!! They act like they are family friendly but they most certainly are not. We were constantly harrassed for our 2 yr old’s night mares. We were threatened with calls to CPS because &quot;we let him cry for more than 10 minutes&quot;, we called the police department to find out what our rights were and go figure we were doing nothing wrong. I would wake up to nasty messages from the manager about my bad parenting. Right before we moved they posted notice on all the tenants’ doors saying that kids were no longer allowed in the courtyard regardless of supervision. It said more specifically that parents were lazy and needed to make time for their kids and take them to park to play…“
That was the wind-up, now here’s the pitch:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE July 25, 2014 – WASHINGTON – The Justice Department today announced an agreement with the owners and operators of Woodland Garden Apartments in Fremont, California, to settle allegations of discrimination against families with children. Under the consent order, which must still be approved by the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California, the defendants are required to pay $77,500 to the victims of their discrimination and an additional $2,500 to the government as a civil penalty. The settlement resolves a complaint filed by the department on Oct. 25, 2013.
The lawsuit alleged that the apartment complex maintained rules that discriminated against families with children in violation of the Fair Housing Act. Specifically, the lawsuit challenged a rule that prohibited children from playing outside in the common grassy areas of the complex and provided that families would be evicted if they violated this rule. The lawsuit also alleged that the actions of the defendants constituted a pattern or practice of discrimination.
When SFGov hasn’t the will to enforce the laws and regs it enacts and you ask them about it, a govt rep will start talking about “complaint-driven” enforcement.
And that means no enforcement at all.
So feel free to pave over your front yard and then paint your brand-new parking spaces in alternating red and green, you know, to celebrate, Christmas-style:
(Actually, the most exciting time in the Outer Richmond is the evening of the Fourth of July and the morning of the Fifth of July, what with the illegal fireworks and all…)
Oh Outer Richmond:
You’ve got the biggest heart
Sometimes I think you’re just too good for me
Every day is Christmas, and every night is New Year’s Eve
Will you keep on loving me
Will you keep on, will you keep on
Bringing out the best in me?