Posts Tagged ‘lazer’

Citizen Kane Had His Rosebud, Of Course, So Is This Little Boat Larry Ellison’s Version? America’s Cup to Cost Us Nine Figures

Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Here’s a spoiler alert from 1941 – it’s Rosebud, a small sled that was a symbol of a billionaire’s lost childhood, or something.

Now, here’s the updated version. It involves King Larry Ellison. Here’s his Rosebud, found in the Marina District:

Click to expand

So Larry, of course, now likes boats.

And that’s going to end up costing us a bunch of money over the next century.

Oh well.

Who’s going to stop him from taking our children’s money?

I know not.

To review:

Larry Ellison of Oracle wants us to pay him and give him land so that San Francisco can be forced to watch his little boat race:

Oh, wait, that’s not Larry Ellison, here he is, flipping off the competition as he sails by on his big boat.


“I win! I win! I’m King Larry.”

Hurray Larry! We all love you, Larry! All your ex-wives let you down, but it wasn’t your fault, Larry, it was all their fault, you’re the greatest, Larry!

Mmmm.

When Eric Cartman saved South Park he wanted just one reward – he wanted to play with his toy truck, but, also, he wanted another child to be forced to watch. See?


In this image, the toy truck is the America’s Cup, Cartman is Ellison, and Kyle back there, he’s the people of San Francisco, sold down the river, once again.

So, if you’re getting pressured to “donate” to Larry’s little boat race to “help the town” or whatever, that’s fine, do it if you want. You’ll be sure to get access to the “V.I.P.” tent or whatever and you’ll get some swag like a souvenir windbreaker or something, that’s fine.

Good for you.

But why are we paying to be forced to watch Larry fix a boat race so that he can win it again?

I know not.