Posts Tagged ‘marathon’

Look Who Shows Up for the Nike Womens Half Marathon: “PREGNANT? NEED HELP? CALL 1-800-910-0191” – “Pray the Rosary”

Monday, October 19th, 2015

Probably an out-of-towner…

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The Towman Cometh: The Great Towing of the Western Addition Starts This Saturday Night – Thanks, NIKE!

Thursday, October 15th, 2015

IMO, Nike should make sure that these types of signs hit the streets like six days before the annual Nike Womens 13.1-Mile Marketing Effort

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(Interesting font there, SFMTA!)

The way things stand now, notice is insufficient.


(The person who will tow your ride Sunday morning will live south of SF, and have bible verses cited on the side of his tow truck, if Past Is Prologue.)

Boy, the SF Marathon is Almost as Wacky as a Bay to Breakers – Oakland Warrior Juggler Dribbler, Firefighter, Die Hard

Monday, July 27th, 2015

Straight out of Oak-Town comes this Warriors Juggler – bounce toss toss, bounce toss toss. Stephen Curry here was in the zone.

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And he doesn’t at all look like a money-hungry, anti-UCSF billionaire, but you never know…

And here’s the fireman, who might have been promoting an alcoholic drink – I couldn’t tell. But he did have the oxygen tank. And Die Hard here was wearing a marathon t-shirt from Europe. He kept on keeping on…

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I was just passing through, but I’m supposing if you wanted to wait around for more wackiness, you’d find it here, at our annual San Francisco Marathon.

My Small Beef with Nike’s Very Expensive, Very Stylized San Francisco Photo Shoot from Summer 2014

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.

But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.

Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 at all), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the fitness bunnies to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



I can see Photoshop being pushed to its limits here, not that it’s bad or anything. The model on the right almost looks like a cartoon, almost like a female Jumpman



Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other photo shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:



Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



More of the same




N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?



What’s this?



Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!



Very SF, but not a real runner



Very SF, but not a real runner



Not SF



And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision



IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.

Why not use real women from San Francisco next time, Nike?

*One assumes. Prove me wrong!

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

Friday, October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

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If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:


The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

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Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

Checker Marathon and On and On, Western Addition

Wednesday, July 9th, 2014

Like Sting, this long-lasting car was Borne in the 50’s (but actually produced in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s).

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Keep on keeping on, Checker Marathon…

Nike Women’s Marathon Media Van #2 Going Waaaaaay Too Fast for the Narrow Streets and Lanes of the Western Addition

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Uh, it’s just the 2013 Nike Half-Marathon, it’s not Armageddon, or even Deep Impact. Where’s the fire, minivan lady? I mean, nobody really cares about the Nike (excepting for the concomitant silver bling from Tiffany’s that Finishers so covet), but people will care if you run over a ped, right?

Also, Nevada plates?

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Now, Oregon plates, you know, from California’s Other Deadbeat Neighbor, from Nike’s Home State, well, I’d almost go for that.

In conclusion, I cry foul.

“We Stand with Boston”

Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

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Sucker Watch: Most Participants Won’t Pay to Enter the 2013 Bay to Breakers Fun Run So Why Should You?

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

Oh, you are a sucker. Well, then be my guest – pay $48 for a number. And actually, and you’ll enjoy this, sucker, it’s already too late to get a good deal on registration for 2013. Prices be higher now.

Most people who aren’t professional runners  don’t pay and here’s a good reason not to pay:

Your money goes directly to “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz.

And then he takes your $$$$$ and uses it to, over the years, oppose the concept of evolution and fund anti-gay efforts.

(It’s funny that he even took an interest in this historic fun run and street party but he likes running so there y0u go.)

The reason that organizers won’t say how many “bandits” show up for the party is because they don’t want you to think that most people don’t pay.

But, IRL, most people don’t pay.

If you don’t believe me then take a NSFW look right here.

How many bibs do you see? Every year they say they will eject all these people and every year they don’t actually do it.

Now the San Francisco Nike Womens Marathon is different. You see, they give out coveted awards and people just can’t help themselves. And then stuff like this happens; “NO BIB NO BIB NO BIB!

But B2B aint like that.

One difference this year will be a limit on the size of the bags you might carry.

It’s like the size of Fook Mi’s backpack, best I can imagine.

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All right, have a great 2013 B2B.

And if you want to pay money to somebody, just take whatever your reg fee is and give it to Pride or whatever.

End Of Line.