Posts Tagged ‘marketing’

“So Best Place To Live” – PARKMERCED Battles the NEMA “New Market” Building for Stupid Marketing Catch Phrases

Thursday, July 31st, 2014

IMO, Parkmerced’s #sobestplacetolive rivals NEMA’s nonsensical “AMENITIES, NOT ENEMIES” slogan.

NEMA has many more catchphrases, so Parkmerced will have to do a lot of work to catch up: 

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All right, #sobesthaveagoodday.

Dennis Herrera Throws Down: Reaches $4.4 Million Settlement with California Art Institute – Students Getting Cash

Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

The News of the Day, re: Argosy University:

“Herrera reaches $4.4 million agreement in dispute over for-profit college’s marketing. California Art Institutes’ ownership to settle for $1.95 million; fund returning student and new student scholarships; and re-calculate graduation and job placement rates

SAN FRANCISCO (June 17, 2014) – City Attorney Dennis Herrera today settled an unlitigated claim against California Art Institutes’ parent company in a consumer protection dispute over marketing tactics that allegedly underestimated program costs for students and inflated job placement figures for graduates.

Under terms of the agreement with Educational Management Corporation, the Pittsburgh-based for-profit educational provider will pay San Francisco $1.95 million to settle the dispute; endow a $1.6 million scholarship fund for non-graduating California Art Institute students who wish to return to finish their studies; and offer $850,000 in general scholarships to new students.  The agreement—formally an “Assurance of Voluntary Compliance” that is legally binding and enforceable in court—includes provisions for a sweeping array of reforms to Educational Management Corporation’s marketing and reporting practices.  The accord, which avoids litigation, includes no admissions of wrongdoing.

“I hope this agreement is a bellwether for other for-profit colleges, highlighting the need to fully inform students about their education costs and job placement prospects,” said Herrera.  “In a workplace where so much depends on education and training, students deserve accurate information about the schools they attend—and that’s exactly what California law requires.  I applaud Educational Management Corporation for its industry leadership in working with us cooperatively and productively.  They’ve shown a commendable willingness to address concerns about their current and former students, and to avoid similar problems moving forward.”

The $1.6 million Returning Student Scholarship Fund will be distributed to students who withdrew from California Art Institute programs between 2009 and today, and will be available to returning students for five years or until it is exhausted.  EDMC and the City Attorney’s Office will work together to publicize the fund to reach out to eligible former students.  EDMC has also agreed to new methods of calculating the percentage of enrolling students that graduate with degrees, and the percentages of students that are employed and that are employed within their field of study; and to publicize those recalculated figures in their promotional materials.  The school also agreed to train advisors to counsel students on the long term effects of student loan debt and default.

As is common with Assurances of Voluntary Compliance reached outside of litigation, the agreement also includes enforcement provisions that compel EDMC to notify the City Attorney of any breaches of the agreement on its part, and a stipulation that a material violation by EDMC will be considered evidence of an unfair business practice that the City could make the subject of a future lawsuit.”

Monarch the Bear Has Had Enough of California: Famous Grizzly Shown Exiting State Flag for Greener Pastures

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

From the official State of California Energy Upgrade California roadshow:

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I’m srsly, they’ve got a whole Have You Seen The Bear thing going on these days

Monarch was last seen boarding a Greyhound bus headed to Dallas, Texas.

Who approved this California-backed marketing campaign? Was it Lou Avery?

Lyft Promotions Get Local: Marketing an App As If It Were Guitar Instruction

Tuesday, May 6th, 2014

Oh No, Our “Local” Gannett Blog, The Bold Italic, STILL Doesn’t Know That the Fake Video It Posted is Fake

Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Well here we go, some people took the effort to point out to our “local” Gannett Co Inc blog about one of its many mistakes. And it wasn’t just me, you know, right here: Gull-ible! – Gannett Co Inc’s West Coast Blog Gets Around to Posting a Two-Year Old Video – Oh, But It’s Not a Real Video.

So, Gannett, the charge is that your fake video is fake.

The rejoinder:

Was it?

YES IT WAS.

I mean, it very well may have been

WELL, IF THIS IS YOUR POSITION, THEN WHY NOT JUST SAY “FAKE THIEF-SEAGULL STEALS A GOPRO” INSTEAD?

but we just found people speculating that it was,

OH, IT’S UP TO THE GREATER PUBLIC TO PROVE YOU WRONG AS OPPOSED TO THE OPPOSITE? OK FINE.

and GoPro says they had nothing to do with it. (Though, they could be LYING, or seagulls themselves…)

UH-OH, YOU’RE MISSING THE CASE WHERE GOPRO ISN’T LYING AND SOMEBODY _OUTSIDE_ OF GOPRO PRODUCED THIS FAKE VIDEO, RIGHT?

All right, let’s play along. Do you really think a seagull can pick up a video camera with its webbed feet? If so, you’re naive.

And why do the seabirds of the world only pickup GoPro brand cameras and not Canons or Nikons or Sony Action Cams and whathaveyou?

And what French tourist takes an ordinary sunset video with a monitor-free GoPro in a waterproof case? Not that many, I’ll tell you.

And what of Nathalie Rollandin, what business was she in when she posted that video, only one, of course, the only she’s ever posted on YouTube? Let’s take a look:

Marketing strategy and product launch: concept development and product design, pricing and promotional strategies, training, launch and monitoring of results”

The French tourist turned out to be an Italian-American chick from Chicago. She’s now learning even more about viral marketing ‘n stuff at the Kellogg School. Mmmm

All right, here’s my contribution to the marketing intern fake video oeuvre.

Enjoy:

Actually, mine’s twice as good as yours, because mine has two marketing interns faking a video.

Hey Gannett! What’s your burn rate? Why don’t you move back to Virginia and make room for housing at your reclaimed wood clubhouse on Page? How many millions have you lost so far, The Bold italic, you know, since you all came to town?

Gull-ible! – Gannett Co Inc’s West Coast Blog Gets Around to Posting a Two-Year Old Video – Oh, But It’s Not a Real Video

Friday, February 21st, 2014

Here’s the video, which was ID’ed as a fake about 2.6 million views ago:

And here’s the recent post from the money-losing Gannet blog, The Bold Italic.

Do you really want to know how to do better, TBI? Well, don’t post crap like this, for starters.

Pepsi Garden: The One Place in SF that District One Supervisor Eric Mar Should Avoid – Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi…

Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

Here’s Eric Mar’s Beef of the Week:

“Can’t go anywhere w/out #BIGSODA staring me in the face w/ their $million/day marketing #kickthecanhttp://instagram.com/p/iKkVYlnUcj/ 

Now just imagine how he’d react to this scene:

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Merry Christmas!

Sorry Elon Musk, But Your Low-Slung Tesla “Model S” Sedan is NOT “Perfect For Winter”

Monday, November 25th, 2013

Check this out:

“MODEL S IS PERFECT FOR WINTER Model S is an all-electric, rear wheel drive sedan designed to perform exceptionally in winter conditions. In fact, all-wheel-drive is not necessary. The state of the art liquid thermal control system dynamically heats and cools powertrain components to maintain range and power.

Cold Weather Performance – Additionally, the Tesla mobile app allows drivers to remotely heat the passenger cabin and battery from the comfort of their home or office. Watch Tesla’s VP of Vehicle Engineering Chris Porritt explain why Model S redefines what’s possible in cold weather. Book a test drive now to experience the supreme handling capabilities of Model S for yourself.”

I don’t know where to start. Uh, if you don’t have four wheel drive, you’re not going to get a pass from chain control during snowy days on the way to Tahoe, right? And are 21 inch wheels on a “sports car” “perfect” for snow? And ground clearance?

If Tesla is trying to say that the Model S is acceptable for winter, well that would be fine.

But Tesla is saying that its electric Porsche Panamera with 21 inch wheels and RWD is “perfect.”

I cry foul.

Disrupt Parking: The Kids from the SpotOn Parking App Have Got the NoPA Western Addition Covered – Look for Iconic Orange Cones

Friday, August 9th, 2013

They’re trying, I’ll give you that.

See?

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Yeah, I don’t know….

You know, if I dropped out of an Ivy to start up a transportation app in Frisco, I think I’d offer an Android version, you know, for the 79% of the world what rolls that way.

But that’s just me.

Anyway, they’re not per se illegal from the get-go, and that’s so unlike a lot of Ron Conway*-type startups what litter the 415 these days, so they’ve got that going for them…

*Hey, did Ron Conway really try to improperly intervene with SFGov over the parking spaces near Pinterest HQ? Ooh, that’s pretty cheesy, RC!

Despicablimp, Sutro Tower

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

One has its own Twitter feed, the other doesn’t:

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