Posts Tagged ‘mgd’

Outrageous: Cans of Beer Confiscated at Bay to Breakers – Hide Your PBR at Masonic!

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

I never thought I’d live to see the day when cans of beer would be confiscated at the Bay to Breakers footrace. I mean, bottles and kegs, sure, but harmless aluminum cans?

Well, that’s what’s happening at the 99th Annual. A thin blue line of eight SFPD officers has been stretched across the eastern crosswalk of Fell and Masonic – they’re just taking the brew right out of your hands. Some escape this dragnet, but most do not.

Popo shut us down. Thusly:

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Where are the earnest, green-hatted nerds of the National Lawyers Guild Legal Observer Corps when, finally, we need them?

I put down my Bud suitcase and raised my hands to the Heavens and yelled,” Gascon!“*

R.I.P. America: 1776-2010.

Courage.

*Or Singer. One of them. I’ll tell you, I don’t know if local Police Chief George Gascon and premier spinmeister Sam Singer are more intelligent than Fong and Fang (Heather and Angela, respectfully), but the new people in charge this year sure are smarter, it would seem. Defter, if that’s a word.

Beer Kickball is Now All the Rage in Golden Gate Park

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

Look at these boozehounds playing beer kickball in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.

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Tecate, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors and Miller Genuine Draft are all utilized on the field of play.

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(Stupid men. How juvenile! Is this why our grandfathers fought the Second World War, and spent their weekends on the Jersey shore? I think not.)

All the womenfolk were merely spectators at this point in the bucolic bacchanalia. One was seen holding a can of nonregulation Pepsi.

Here are the rules of Beer Kickball Club:

  • Don’t talk about Beer Kickball Club.
  • Don’t talk about Beer Kickball Club.
  • A beer must be in-hand at all times during gameplay (i.e. while fielding and batting).
  • Dropping your beer while batting or running the bases results in an automatic out. This does not apply if your beer is intentionally knocked out of your hand.
  • If a beer is dropped by a fielder, the base runner may not be called out until the fielder reclaims his/her beer.
  • A beer check may be performed on an individual of the opposing team at any time. If the beer is found empty, game play will stop and the player must chug a full beer. If the player with the empty beer happens to be a batter/base runner, the player will be ruled out.
  • What’s next, Beer Hooverball? Heaven Forfend.

    “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion of never playing beer kickball than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”