Remind me again why we subsidize Telsa Motors?
Via iPhone 5 owner – click to expand
Here’s the news of the day:
“Working with some of the largest and most respected banks in the country, Tesla has been able to create a financing product that combines the surety and comfort of ownership with all the advantages of a traditional lease.
US Bank and Wells Fargo will provide 10% down financing assuming a good credit rating, and the down payment is covered or more than covered by US Federal and state tax credits ranging from $7,500 to $15,000. New Jersey, Washington and DC also have no sales tax for electric vehicles. These advantages are not available when leasing.
After 36 months, you have the right, but not the obligation to sell your Model S to Tesla for the same residual value percentage as the iconic Mercedes S Class, one of the finest premium sedans in the world, made by Daimler (also a Tesla partner and investor).
Not only is Tesla guaranteeing that resale value, but Tesla CEO Elon Musk is personally standing behind that guarantee to give customers absolute peace of mind about the value of the asset they are purchasing.
We also encourage you to think about Model S ownership in terms of true out of pocket cost. When considering the savings from using electricity instead of gasoline, depreciation benefits, and other factors, buyers will save hundreds of dollars per month compared to owning a gasoline powered car.”
The problem with this, or rather, one of the problems with this, is that Mercedes Benz S-Class cars have horrible resale value.
So if Elon Musk really wants to put his money where his mouth is, why doesn’t he use cars more desirable and practical for the residual value percentage guarantee?
How about the Nissan Versa or Honda Fit?
Let’s check in on troubled Tesla Motors’ troubled CEO, Elon Musk.
Here he is – please try to guess which photo here has Photoshopped footwear. It’s not easy:
You see, ’cause one’s a joke and the other, well, the other’s kind of a joke as well.
First of all, let’s examine the appropriate number of kids to have with a woman a’fore trading her in on a new model.
In Elon’s case, that number is five.
Then bam, you move on.
If you’re Elon.
And what does your first wife say to all this? She’s all, well at least Elon’s new gal isn’t a blonde.*
Cause you see, that would fit the profile of a stereotypical messianic middle-aged asshole CEO-type to a T.
Which rhymes with T (sort of).
Which stands for Trouble, Tesla, and The Times.
So let’s see, from the mouth of the horse, or jack-ass, your pick:
“NYTimes article about Tesla range in cold is fake. Vehicle logs tell true story that he didn’t actually charge to max & took a long detour.”
Well, as discussed here, that bit in the NYT (instigated by Tesla to show off its branded power stations) had issues.
But was it fake?
NO, NOT AT ALL.
So you were wrong, Elon.
And oh what’s that, you have the logs from the car, but not GPS data or recordings from Tesla Customer Service?
Isn’t that kind of funny?
And Elon, how much range should your six-figure car lose after parking it overnight when it’s cold?
What’s the appropriate amount?
And Elon, isn’t your Model S sort of a ridiculous vehicle being big on the outside (longer AND wider than an eight-passenger Toyota Land Cruiser) and small on the inside?
And Elon, didn’t you promise you’d deliver 5000 vehicles last year?
And are going to meet that goal? I don’t think so.
You see, a normal person would feel bad about breaking a promise.
Do you feel bad sometimes, you know, when all those things you’ve said would happen don’t actually happen, you know, actually and IRL?
I don’t know.
And oh, there’s this:
“Detail showing car driving around in circles in front of the Milford Supercharger trying to get Model S to stop.”
Would you like to correct that one, Elon?
Didn’t think so.
Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you use your own money to fund Tesla?
Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you guarantee the loan guarantee you worked out with the feds?
You know, so the taxpayers’ half a billion dollars wouldn’t be at risk.
So here’s your lesson, Elon:
See how that works?
So this is wrong:
Why don’t you correct yourself, Elon?
Oh, here’s somebody who’s not wedded to the idea of Tesla being the greatest corporation evah:
@markoff Excuse me Elon, but Margaret Sullivan does not speak for the NYT. Distortion to say the NYT “reversed.”
Oh Elon, will you ever win?
(And please pay back our money soon, m’kay? ‘Cause we’re still out for Solyndra ‘n stuff.)
*At least you didn’t shoot her through the bathroom door four times, srsly.
Vaunted Tesla Motors’ vaunted Model S sedan getting towed at the end of a New York Times test drive:
Click to expand
Oh Elon Musk, will you ever win?
Oh Elon Musk, your jackassery actually hurts the industry you’re trying to promote.
Oh Tesla CEO and media criticElon Musk, don’t you yourself burn far, far more petroleum than the average American? Like you get a loan from the taxpayers and a good chunk of that money goes to paying your aviation fuel costs, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars?
Isn’t it ironic?
Read the news and turn the pages/
Watch them play a different game/
And [soon enough] no one knows your name
During the time period that people from the disappointing Tesla Motors and CODA Automotive electric car “producers” were criticizing the design of the Nissan LEAF, Nissan simply worked hard to become the first mass-producer of electric cars.*
Of course, 6500 units over the past nine months might not sound like a whole bunch to you, but that’s more than what the vaunted Tesla,** CODA, and Solyndra*** have delivered altogether.
Presenting the Nissan LEAF. Adorable, huh?
Click to expand
Heh, what a burn:
“6,500 no-gas Nissan LEAFs™ have now been delivered to excited owners. Across the country each day, new drivers are getting to enjoy the Nissan LEAF™. And as the first and only car manufacturer to mass-produce 100% electric cars, it’s clear that Nissan is 6,500 steps ahead of the pack.”
Ahead of the pack, baby.
You see, Nissan delivers while the others merely promise delivery. In CODA’s case the same basic car has been promised every year since 2007 and in Tesla’s I think it’s similarly been years since Tesla was supposed to have delivered the follow-up to that ridiculous Roadster, you know the car that got an airbag waiver from the feds cause Tesla said it would go out of business if it had to follow the rules that a manufacturer like, I don’t know, Nissan has to follow when it builds a car like, I don’t know, the LEAF.
Anyway, you’ll have to keep waiting for a Tesla Model S.
But don’t let me stop you from writing a check right now for $50k**** for a CODA Sedan, direct from China via Benicia.
Go for it, see if I care.
Oh hey, Nissan’s Drive Electric Tour is coming back soon. Sign up now, if you want:
11.18.2011 – 11.20.2011
11.25.2011 – 11.27.2011
*In the past century or so – somebody else might have been churning out BEVs back in the day. I don’t know how many old-school electric cars were mass-produced back in the late 1800s and early 1900s.
**You know how much kerosene Tesla Motors has bought for its globe-trotting CEO? My guess would be hundreds of thousands of dollars worth, by this point. Isn’t it ironic, don’tcha think?
*** Oh, I guess Solyndra didn’t even try to make cars. Oh well. Tell me, is there an issue with “ced[ing] the solar panel industry to China?” I mean, who cares if China builds solar panels?
****Including delivery and use tax, no negotiating! I think that you’ll have to pay normal purchase and registration fees for the CODA, but I’m not sure since I’ve heard that the state of CA waived these charges for some Tesla purchasers…
Elements of the San Francisco Fire Department and other bay area first responders are getting a little electric vehicle safety training today and tomorrow so they’ll know what they’re doing when Chevy Volts and other Battery Electric Vehicles start appearing on our roads and getting accidents in greater numbers. See?
“Chevrolet and OnStar, in a joint effort with The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), hosted electric vehicle safety training for San Francisco area first responders – the second in a series of training sessions that will take place this fall in cities across the country. First responders participated in a three-hour program to prepare for emergency situations involving electric vehicles such as the Chevrolet Volt, an electric vehicle with extended-range capability available in select markets late this year.”
Here’s what it looks like:
All the deets:
SAN FRANCISCO, Oct. 12 — Chevrolet and OnStar, in a joint effort with The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), hosted electric vehicle safety training for San Francisco area first responders – the second in a series of training sessions that will take place this fall in cities across the country. First responders participated in a three-hour program to prepare for emergency situations involving electric vehicles such as the Chevrolet Volt, an electric vehicle with extended-range capability available in select markets late this year.
In addition to San Francisco and last week’s training in Detroit, the tour will make stops in Los Angeles, Austin, New York and Washington, D.C.
“These training sessions provide a valuable opportunity for first responders to prepare for the introduction of this new vehicle technology,” said Chevrolet Safety Director Gay Kent. “The tour allows us to extend our training and education to first responders across the country. Our goal with this program is to help public safety personnel become as comfortable working around electric vehicles as they are with conventional vehicles today.”
Safety trainers delivered presentations covering topics specific to electric vehicles such as power shut-off procedures, lithium ion battery details, locations of high-strength steel and cut points for extrication. In addition, a Volt – recently used during an extrication exercise – was on site for hands-on training for first responders.
Ever more deets, after the jump
San Mateo County’s famous all-electric Telsa Motors seems to have yet another problem these days. Tesla 20% Founder and CEO Elon Musk is now saying he expects to launch the Model S sedan “within two and a half years.”
So what’s that, the third quarter of 2012?
O.K., but this is what the Tesla website shows currently - it goes, “Deliveries start 2011.” See?
Would you consider that a delay? Others do.
But weren’t these cars supposed to be running around already? Yes:
“Tesla is building an assembly plant in Albuquerque, N.M., which is slotted for completion by the end of 2008. The company says it plans to build 10,000 WhiteStar sedans annually starting in 2009.”
That’s what you can expect from Tesla, aka Government Motors West.