Posts Tagged ‘model’

My Small Beef with Nike’s Very Expensive, Very Stylized San Francisco Photo Shoot from Summer 2014

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.

But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.

Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 at all), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the fitness bunnies to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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I can see Photoshop being pushed to its limits here, not that it’s bad or anything. The model on the right almost looks like a cartoon, almost like a female Jumpman

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Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other photo shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:

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Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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More of the same

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N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?

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What’s this?

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Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!

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Very SF, but not a real runner

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Very SF, but not a real runner

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Not SF

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And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision

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IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.

Why not use real women from San Francisco next time, Nike?

*One assumes. Prove me wrong!

Painful Press Release of the Week: “SF-Made Amour Vert Stays Close To Home For Its First Retail Store” – $130 T-Shirts?

Monday, June 30th, 2014

[UPDATE: Oh, what I meant to say was:

"Local womenswear brand Amour Vert is a favorite for its combination of California cool with French chic—all with a major eco-conscious stamp of sustainability."

OK fine!]

Here you go, here’s your new T, straight outta “up-and-coming” Hayes Valley:

You see, it’s made out of rayon. Check it.

Here’s your release:

“San Francisco-Made Amour Vert Stays Close To Home For Its First Retail Store

SAN FRANCISCO, June 20, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — Contemporary eco-fashion brand, Amour Vert is happy to announce the opening of its first retail store in its home city of San Francisco. With all garments made and designed within a 20 mile radius, the store is the latest addition to the up and coming Hayes Valley neighborhood.

Amour Vert’s retail space reflects their commitment to sustainability. The environmentally conscious store features ecological ingredients and co-founders, Christoph Frehsee and Linda Balti employed local contractors and local interior design stores to bring the eco-forward store to life. Bringing the environment indoors, a focal point of the store will be a living wall, which the brand is installing with the help of San Francisco native, model and philanthropist, Lily Kwong. The wall will serve as a nod to “green love” – the English translation of the brand’s French name.

About Amour Vert

Based on the principal that women shouldn’t have to sacrifice style for sustainability, Amour Vert proves that it is possible to be both fashionable and environmentally responsible. Using the highest quality organic and sustainable fabrics, Amour Vert, offers style and fashion as well as one of the softest t-shirts in the world. Taking its commitment to the environment seriously, the company developed its T(r)EE program, in partnership with American Forests®, planting a tree in America for every purchase of an Amour Vert t-shirt. Based in San Francisco, Amour Vert’s products are all hand made in California.”

I’ll tell you, I don’t know how our Austrian “neighbors” make fancy “eco-forward” rayon, but here’s how you make regular rayon. Enjoy:

  • Cellulose: Production begins with processed cellulose
  • Immersion: The cellulose is dissolved in caustic soda: (C6H10O5)n + nNaOH → (C6H9O4ONa)n + nH2O
  • Pressing: The solution is then pressed between rollers to remove excess liquid
  • White Crumb: The pressed sheets are crumbled or shredded to produce what is known as “white crumb”
  • Aging: The “white crumb” is aged through exposure to oxygen
  • Xanthation: The aged “white crumb” is mixed with carbon disulfide in a process known as Xanthation, the aged alkali cellulose crumbs are placed in vats and are allowed to react with carbon disulfide under controlled temperature (20 to 30 °C) to form cellulose xanthate: (C6H9O4ONa)n + nCS2 → (C6H9O4O-SC-SNa)n
  • Yellow Crumb: Xanthation changes the chemical makeup of the cellulose mixture and the resulting product is now called “yellow crumb”
  • Viscose: The “yellow crumb” is dissolved in a caustic solution to form viscose
  • Ripening: The viscose is set to stand for a period of time, allowing it to ripen: (C6H9O4O-SC-SNa)n + nH2O → (C6H10O5)n + nCS2 + nNaOH
  • Filtering: After ripening, the viscose is filtered to remove any undissolved particles
  • Degassing: Any bubbles of air are pressed from the viscose in a degassing process
  • Extruding: The viscose solution is extruded through a spinneret, which resembles a shower head with many small holes
  • Acid Bath: As the viscose exits the spinneret, it lands in a bath of sulfuric acid, resulting in the formation of rayon filaments: (C6H9O4O-SC-SNa)n + ½nH2SO4 → (C6H10O5)n + nCS2 + ½nNa2SO4

Peas in a Pod: The Tesla Model S and the Fisker Karma are Very Hard to Tell Apart

Friday, February 21st, 2014

Ah look, from Marin it’s a red Fisker Karma plug-in hybrid in red and in the background it’s a silver Tesla Model S electric car.

Don’t they look super similar?

Click to expand

Ah memories:

“On 14 April 2008, Tesla Motors filed a lawsuit against Fisker Automotive, alleging that Henrik Fisker stole Tesla’s Model S hybrid technology and was using it to develop the Karma. Tesla’s suit claimed that the design work done for the Model S sedan by Fisker Coachbuild was substandard, and that Fisker Automotive diverted its best ideas to the Karma.[77] On 4 November 2008 CNET News reported that Tesla Motors would discontinue its suit after an interim ruling in favor of Fisker et al.[78] A news release on the Fisker Automotive website stated that Tesla was ordered to pay US$1,144,285 in costs.[79]

Ed Reiskin’s Sexy Tips for Girls – How to Earn Money and Support MUNI at the Same Time

Friday, February 7th, 2014

IDK, did  MUNI chief Ed Reiskin condone this particular MUNI bus ad?

It sure looks that way!

Now the way to make this ad, leaving aside all the other Photoshop stuff, is to rotate the shot 90 degrees counterclockwise. See? I’m just saying that gravity doesn’t work this way IRL. 

Click to expand

Remember Ed, you can’t spell obsequious without I-O-U my job, “strong” Mayor Ed Lee.

Hey Ed Reiskin! Is it a good idea to  charge money for parking meters on Sundays? Oh it is? Oh great!

But oh, Ed Reiskin, Ed Lee has decided that he can’t tolerate the SFMTA charging money for parking meters on Sundays. Oh what’s that, you’ve all of a sudden changed your mind on this issue and now you don’t like Sunday parking meters?

OK fine.

Area Man Drives Wheelchair Around As If It Were A Car – Presenting the Palmer Twosome Model 24

Tuesday, June 4th, 2013

You think this guy is sitting around waiting for MUNI?

Screw that:

Click to expand

“IF YOU”RE NOT THE MODEL, BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER” IRL – From The Tens – “Shots from the 47″

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

My most incoherent headline yet.

This was the question back in 2011.

And this was the answer.

Comes now The Tens with his take on photographer-model duality:

Via The Tens – click to expand

Edward Reiskin SFMTA Photo Shoot – “C’Mon, Baby – Arch Your Back Even More” – Mobile Porn for the 415

Friday, September 28th, 2012

I ask you, what kind of message does the SFMTA send out when it green-lights stuff like this?

Something like “We’ll do anything for money?”

Click to expand

 

The Future is Now: Getting to Know Embarcadero Center by Looking at a 3D Model

Monday, August 20th, 2012

All right, what most people consider Embarcadero Center are the taller buildings all in a row, from left to right, EC1, EC2, EC3, and EC4.

And then the Hyatt Regency Embarcadero is considered Embarcadero Center 5. (The boxy thing on top used to be a revolving restaurant, but, sadly, it don’t revolve no mo.)

And then, along came Embarcadero West (275 Battery), the black sheep of the family, as seen on the left:

Click to expand

(I guess they threw in short, short 301 Battery for completeness, but it’s been there for a good long time so it doesn’t belong in here.)

Now you better know Embarcadero Center.

All the deets:

“By 1862, this area of moored ships was nicknamed the Barbary Coast and had become a raucous district of prostitution, dance halls and thievery. The Coast continued to flourish until 1911, when Mayor James Rolph initiated a clean-up. Shut down for good in the early 1920′s, the area became San Francisco’s Produce District. A forerunner of the weekend Farmer’s Market that exists near Embarcadero Center today, the area’s narrow streets were lined with vendors selling fruits and vegetables. 

When urban renewal laws took hold in San Francisco in the 1950′s, city planner M. Justin Herman spearheaded a plan to redevelop the site where Embarcadero Center now stands into a mixed-use “city within a city.” David Rockefeller, John Portman, and Trammel-Crow submitted the winning proposal to develop the 8.5 acre site. 

Embarcadero Center’s four office towers were built in phases, beginning in 1968 and ending in 1983. The office towers, which have a daily population of 16,000, quickly became the corporate headquarters for many major companies. 

Further expansion occurred during the mid-1980′s when commercial property became available directly west of the complex. The project was expanded to include Embarcadero Center West located at 275 Battery Street. 

The Embarcadero Roadway Project has led to an entire renewal of the Downtown Waterfront District that is ensuring a bright future for Embarcadero Center. The Center is just steps away from the 42,000-seat AT&T Park, home to the San Francisco Giants baseball team, which opened in April 2000. The waterfront is also the scene of the new Muni F-Line transportation system featuring historic streetcars from around the world. Future projects include a cruise ship terminal and dozens of new restaurants, condominiums, hotels, and entertainment attractions. 

Embarcadero Center successfully combines a desirable office address with over 120 quality shops and restaurants. Stores range from local, independent retailers to names that are internationally recognized, while restaurants provide a diversity of cuisine and dining styles. The Embarcadero Center Cinema is a leading exhibitor of first-run art, foreign language and special interest films. The Center is also the site of frequent special events that include wine and music festivals, art exhibits, garden shows, summer Total Wellness fair and the Embarcadero Center holiday ice rink.”

The San Francisco Bath Salts Company Tells Us That That Zombie Attacker in Miami Was NOT High on “Bath Salts”

Monday, July 2nd, 2012

You know, that whole Miami face-eater incident has put our San Francisco Bath Salts Company (“THE AUTHORITY ON BATH SALTS”) on edge these days. So much so that its president just issued a press release to tell us all not to fear.

Deets below.

Fret not, it’s just salt, pretty much, so go ahead and take a bath:

chantel beam photography in the Ingleside

“Zombie Attacker Not High on ‘Bath Salts’ – San Francisco Bath Salt Company Reacts

SAN FRANCISCO, July 2, 2012 — Following weeks of assumption that the street drug “bath salts” was to blame for Miami’s flesh-eating attack, local and national media outlets are reporting that medical examiners determined that Rudy Eugene did not have any “bath salts” in his system at the time of the attack. San Francisco Bath Salt Company (SFBSC), a manufacturer of legitimate bath salts, is pleased to learn that the sensationalized controversy over bath salts and whether they will turn you into a crazed zombie has finally been debunked.

“It was clear from the beginning that real bath salts were not the cause of this attack,” SFBSC president Lee Williamson said. “However, it is reassuring to finally put the speculation surrounding this particular issue to rest.”

Though most commonly known as “bath salts,” the street drug is also sold under other innocent names such as “plant food” and “glass cleaner.” “The mass media really overused the term ‘bath salts’ with this case. They were able to take something so seemingly innocuous as ‘bath salts’ and elevate the story to national prominence with shock value,” adds Williamson.

“Any extra exposure that our industry can get is generally a good thing. But I never would have imagined that a street drug commonly known as ‘bath salts’ would become a national crisis, resulting in a media frenzy,” Williamson admits.

The bath salts manufactured and sold by SFBSC contain only natural sea salt enhanced with other quality ingredients such as essential oils and natural fragrances. Their products are manufactured to offer therapeutic solutions for sore muscles and dry skin, among other benefits.

Visit the new SFBSC website for more details on the vast array of bath salts available at http://www.sfbsc.com.

About San Francisco Salt Company

The San Francisco Salt Company designs, develops, and sells an extensive line of bath and shower salts to soothe, cure, and promote relaxation, as well as a line of gourmet chef salts to guarantee just the right flavors for your dishes.

Their mission is to raise your awareness of the amazing benefits of natural sea salts – to harness the power of the ocean to enhance your well-being, from the inside out.”

Sunday was Girly Photography Day in San Francisco – But Can You Tell Who’s the Model and Who’s the Photographer?

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

I couldn’t.

Hey, remember this?

IF YOU”RE NOT THE MODEL, BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER

I do.

Anyway, these days I suppose you can be both a model and photographer, why not?

The first one in Golden Gate Park here is easier:

Click to expand

But this one, spotted just two minutes later, I still haven’t figured out:

Happy Spring!