Posts Tagged ‘most’

Sorry Visa, But Your New Black Card is Not the World’s Most Prestigious Credit Card

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Visa Inc. claims its new Black Card is “the world’s most prestigious and versatile credit card.”

Srsly, Visa? Haven’t you all ever heard of the Centurion Card from the American Express?  That thang is certainly more prestigious than your Black Card.

Visa, please correct your ad campaign. Forthwith.

Capture1

These cards are made with carbon, just like a rusting, broke down Ford Pinto.

Did Visa actually apply for a patent for the idea of carbon-fortifying these rectangular pieces of black plastic? Sadly, yes.

In Visa’s own words: 

“For those who demand only the best of what life has to offer, the exclusive Visa Black Card is for you. The Black Card is not just another piece of plastic. Made with carbon, it is the ultimate buying tool.

The Black Card is not for everyone. In fact, it is limited to only 1% of U.S. residents to ensure the highest caliber of personal service is provided to every Cardmember.

Become a Black Card member today and enjoy our 24-hour world class Concierge Service ready to assist you with all your business, travel and leisure needs.”

And:

“The Black Card is made with carbon, creating a more unique card, guaranteed to get you noticed.”

O.K. fine.

If your sugar daddy and/or mommy ever tries to impress you by whipping out a Visa Black Card, you ought to end it right there and start yelling about how you “don’t want no scrub.”

Anyway, just don’t what you’re thinking here, Visa. Using this new piece of plastic/carbon merely serves to show how somebody doesn’t have a Centurion, right?

In closing, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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Posted in advertising | 3 Comments »

Twitter Shootout – Are Gavin Newsom’s Tweets More Useful Than a Common Squirrel’s?

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Who has the more useful Tweets out there? Is it San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, with hundreds of thousands of Followers, or is it Common Squirrel, with an amazing 2,115 Updates already and thousands of Followers as well. Some feel the squirrel’s pithy postings are the “best thing to follow on Twitter.”

Let’s take a look and make a head-to-head comparison. First up is the prolific common_squirrel, click to expand: 

And here is Gavin Newsom’s effort, selected randomly:

By the Numbers, the Twitter Shootout:

1. Isn’t it _Tom Ammiano’s_ Universal Health Care Program? Yes it is. +1 for Squirrel.

2. This entry conjures up the famous City Hall marriages a half-decade back. A timely posting of news. +1 for Gavin.

3. “If you are in D.C.” – that’s a big if, in’nt it? Nevertheless, this could be useful info for a few. Squirrel is going to need to pick up his/her game – ’cause merely relying on the other side to fail isn’t necessarily a winning strategy. +1 for Gavin.

4. Drawing attention to being on national TV – that’s a fair Tweet. +1 for Gavin.

5. Denying Miss California USA (people always leave out that “USA” part) her due, really? The People Have Spoken, so the only appropriate response is to have your people contact her people and book an agreeable date +1 for Squirrel.

6. OTOH, using Twitter to conduct the poll itself is a GUOT (Good Use of Twitter). +1 for Gavin.

7. See #6 Above. +1 for Gavin.

8. Does Shai Agassi really believe he’s going to save the world with his “battery replacement scheme?” His sweeping statements are redolent of Charlie Manson’s as well as other charismatic, messianic leaders’. Refreshingly, Squirrel lacks certainty that A Better Place is the only Path to the Future. Shouldn’t we save taxpayers dollars for more useful things, like subsidizing the real estate industry? A big +1 for Squirrel.

9. Again with teh Agassi? +1 for Squirrel.

10. Are 385,000 Followers really reading this message for just one person? All right, if that’s how Twitter works, that’s how it works. +1 for Gavin.

11. Again with teh Agassi? +1 for Squirrel.

Well, this one was a squeaker, but it appears that Gavin Newsom’s Tweets are more useful than Squirrel’s.

How’s that?

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The Kids in San Francisco Think Ben Bernanke is a Big Fat Zero

Friday, March 27th, 2009

This tattoo’ed youth seen in the Civic Center area of San Francisco appears to have had a football jersey custom made in order to criticise Ben Shalom Bernanke, Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve and the fourth most powerful person in the world per Newsweek.

Either she thinks he’s a big fat zero, or she’s calling for zero percent interest rates, or something like that.

Poor Ben Bernanke!

The full list of the most powerful people in the world, complete with arbitrary groupings, after the jump. Joe Biden and his fans should avert their gaze…

(more…)

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Posted in politics | 4 Comments »