Bundle up – El Nino is upon us…
What’s this, a bunch of Bros loudly two-stroking themselves down Oak Street? Sure – you’ll hear them first, from blocks away, and then smell them later, what with the old-fashioned (and these days, widely banned) two-stroke style engines, which literally burn motor oil, by design:
Here’s a wider view. These Bros hail from the East Bay and the Central Valley, one assumes, based upon their apparel:
And in the middle of this loud scrum, it’s two members of the SFPD Motor Patrol:
Were they chasing or escorting – I couldn’t tell.
Later on, this crew tried to regroup on Masonic:
Now heading west on the sidewalks of Oak:
Leaving you with this, the last Bro I saw, GoProing his way up Fell:
You know, the way everybody else does.
As here, on the “300 block” of Ashbury, or what would be 300 block but for the Golden Gate Park Panhandle being there. But no matter, just wait for the light and then head north or south on the walking paths:
This will save you all kinds of time going from Fell to Oak or Oak to Fell.
This didn’t used to be a thing, but now it’s a thing, especially at night…
See the exhaust pipe?
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This is how Honda got started after WWII, with the Model A.
And this was like ten minutes later – it was another dude (macho*, perhaps?) entirely.
Why not add a kit to your bike, you know, to stick it to the man? No licensing, registration, or pesky emissions regulations to worry about, right?
And please remember, Loud Pipes Save Lives, or something.
*Is it his scarf or his ladybug helmet what makes him so macho? Is he loved, does he have a family?
Well, it was bound to happen. The Panhandle Bike Path in the more urban part of San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park has become a veritable freeway for motorized vehicles. Of course the term “Pandlehandle Freeway” was the proposed name for a big one for cars and with multiple lanes back in the day. It was planned to be an extension of Interstate 80 but the whole shebang got cancelled, leaving us with the Fell and Oak one-way streets instead.
This e-Go Cycle2 Classic electric motorcycle looks right at home on the bike path, zipping along. Buy one yourself for just $1550. Or make your own! You’ll have to start with a couple of 12-volt lead-acid car batteries… You’ll probably end up being a hero at Burning Man.
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What’s next? Kawasaki Ninja and Honda CBR sport motorcycles on the bike path?
Well look what the kids are doing these days. They’re putting internal combustion gasoline engines on their mountain bikes and cruising around Golden Gate Park.
So, throw the California Vehicle Code out the window, grab your Nazi-ish, spiked Pickelhaube helmet, fire up your Robin Subaru EHO25 or EHO35 (or cheaper alternative), and ride, ride, ride. This could be you!
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“Custom built motorized bicycle with a brand new 80cc engine on a fully inspected cleaned and fine tuned mountain bike frame. 100 plus mpg and up to 35 mph. These motor assisted bicycles have been assembled with great care and ready to ride. In stock or custom built. Only $550 for a brand new ride. For more info please contact. 415-574-6561 or email reply. Thanks and have a great holiday!!”
Now don’t worry your pretty little head about oil-burning 2-stroke engines, or the California Environmental Protection Agency, or the DMV, or the cops – just do whatever the heck you want. It’s your birthright, after all.
See on the Panhandle bike path (putt,putt, putt, putt….). Stay dry!