Posts Tagged ‘Muni’

Masonic Update: San Francisco’s Useless (But Quite Profitable) Street-Sweeping System Tickets This Car Every Week

Thursday, September 11th, 2014

This Hyundai was abandoned months ago, so our SFMTA dutifully tickets it every week on street cleaning day.

Recently, a Denver boot was put on, see?

This is right across the street from the TJ’s.*

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Either the owner will pay the boot fee soon or else a tow truck will come and then the owner will be on the hook for thousands if s/he wants his/her car back ever again.

Except do you think the owner, who obviously has some sort of life issue going on, has a spare couple thou?

Mmmm….

*See how dirty the street is underneath the car? Look at all that garbage that piled up over the past nine weeks! Thank Gaia for street sweeping!

Assignment Desk: Q. What was Putin’s Buddy Andrey Melnichenko Doing in SF the Past Week? [A. Nothing Good]

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Evil coming at you:

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Evil hitting the road

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How long would you say this ship is – how about way more than a football field?

It’s so big it takes half a million bucks worth of petroleum to fill up its tanks.

It’s so big it needs a bar pilot to board to guide it out of San Francisco Bay, yesterday evening. See?

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All right, MSM, get up to speed on this recent visit here – just keep reading down.

Who did this guy meet with – corporate and government officials, right? Which ones? Why?

What’s that, what about the Ukraine? Indeed, what about Ukraine?

Hey, speak of the Devil:

Another lawmaker said he had been provided photos of Russian President Vladimir Putin with Andrey Melnichenko, who owns 92 percent of EuroChem’s shares. Putin even made a well-publicized visit to EuroChem’s potash mine in Gremyachinskoye in 2010.”

Hop on it, MSM.

Look Who’s Blogging Now: The SFMTA! – Presenting the Brand-New MUNI Blog, “[Slowly] Moving SF [If We Feel Like It]“

Friday, September 5th, 2014

The SFMTA knows it has an image problem, so when it spends our money to make itself look better it needs to acknowledge reality. So what it does is to say, “We’re working on it, we’re trying to get better.” See for yourself here at the new official MUNI Blog.

Compare it with PG&E’s current “We’re sorry we blew up part of San Bruno and killed eight people” campaign or Buick’s “We know we have a horrible brand image that’s been built up over the decades, but please give us another chance” campaign

So here it is, the Moving SF Slowly blog. What do we see here? We see a logo that was released with recklessness. And we see “excellent transportation choices?” What does that mean? Is it aspirational? Does the SFMTA really consider itself “excellent?” I mean, just random chance would have the transit system that you, the Gentle Reader, have be average, on average, or mediocre, right? But MUNI sucks, right? MUNI is the worst big-city transit system in America, right? So where does the “excellent” part come from? I mean, you’re living out there at 42nd and Lawton and what are your “excellent” “choices?” And “The SFMTA is responsible?” Do you think that phrase is in there by mistake? I don’t. IMO, it’s more phoney-baloney, folksy PR bullshit from an official SFMTA spokesmodel. And do the people at MUNI work “tirelessly?” Well, it depends. If you’re talking about the cable car operators who skim fares off of tourists six dollars at a time to “supplement” their already-fairly-large paychecks, well, perhaps you’re right, MUNI flack. And the SFMTA’s PR machine is only starting up now, in 2014? Like, they’ve never tried to start telling their “story” before? I think that’s incorrect. Anyway, check it:

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And who’s Kristen Holland? Why it’s none other than Nat Ford’s Right Hand Man!

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Or left-hand woman, in this shot anyway.

Hey Kristen, were you at the infamous “snitch” meeting? I think so! How has MUNI improved since then? You know, in some ways MUNI has gotten worse.

All right, we’ll see how this latest PR effort from MUNI goes. One suspects that Proposition A is the primary motive. (Hey Kristen, why would SFMTA Director Bruce Oka oppose giving you another blank check to the tune of a half billion dollars? Why not blog about that?)

Tracking a Russian James Bond Villain and His Superyacht in San Francisco Waters: Sausalito, Redwood City, What’s Next?

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

Get up to speed on Russian “mathematician” and billionaire Andrey Melnichenko and his floating lair “A” here.

This is a few days back, moored at Sausalito. And then you can see he motored south under the Bay Bridge and the San Mateo Bridge to Redwood Shores:

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Where will he go next? Follow along right here.

(Let’s hope his arrival won’t be followed by The Big One ala Zorin.)

And let’s remember that Redwood City was where the US military’s very own stealth ship, the Sea Shadow, used to be moored for all those years. You know, along with its floating barge, so-called HMB-1 (Howard Hughes Mining Barge One), except that was just a cover for Project Jennifer, a plan from 40 years ago to lift Soviet sub K-129 up from the ocean floor. I’m srsly, Comrades.

And oh yeah, this yacht has a secret James Bond-esque escape pod, just as on the star-crossed K-278

He’s Ba-aack! The Ugly “Stealth Yacht” of Russian Billionaire Andrey Melnichenko Just Docked Near Redwood City

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Here it is, the superyacht named “A,” as seen a few years back in the waters of Marin County:

And here it is again in 2014, like right now at this very instant, down in Silicon Valley near Redwood Shores or Redwood City or whatever:

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And here it was yesterday, in Sausalito again, looks like.

This vessel just fueled up its 200,000(!) gallon tank (that’s more than four times as much as MUNI spilled into San Francisco Bay that one time) to the tune of a half a million dollars up north in Washington State.

So, what are Bro et ux doing down in the Valley?

ASSIGNMENT DESK: Send somebody down there and find out. Talk to his hired goons. Ask him about the James Bond-esque escape pod on the yacht. Ask him about what local companies he’s investing in. You know, that whole routine.

Our SFMTA’s MOST DISTRACTED DRIVER? This SF Cabbie is Running FIVE Cell Phones on His Dashboard

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Via Thomas Purves:

“Signs we have reached peak-app? Cabbie in SF running 5 dash mounted phones”

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Yowzer, what a photo.

All right, your move, SFMTA.

All right, your move, Ed Reiskin.

The Traffic Speedometers the SFMTA Installed on Masonic Don’t Work Very Well

Wednesday, August 20th, 2014

Masonic is a crazy street with a crazy history. Like, 4 Masonic is more than 1000 feet away from 5 Masonic, for instance – what’s up with that? And on the other end of this street, up around the 1000 block, well, that’s where mayoral wives have lived, like Blanche Brown, you know, our First Lady up until ten years ago, the woman  that most people in town weren’t aware of, and, more recently, Jennifer Newsom, who moved away to Marin just months after husband Gavin was hectoring families to NOT move to Marin County, oh well.

Anyway, there have been three pedestrian / cyclist deaths on Masonic* in recent memory, so that’s part of the reason why the SFMTA installed a pair of speedometers to tell drivers how fast they’re going.

The problem is that they don’t work very well.

Like here. Moments before, it was indicating 24 MPH, but then it jumped up to 32 MPH all of a sudden for no reason. All the cars were moving about the same pace uphill and there was no traffic traveling down the hill:

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Speaking of which, the speedometer for traffic heading downhill is even less accurate. Sometimes it’s spot-on, sometimes it wildly optimistic, and other times it’s blank.

What’s the value in these speedometers if they don’t work?

Oh what’s that, MUNI / SFMTA? You don’t care, because you’ve moved on to other things?

Oh, OK.

*Two were due to very drunk drivers, who both kept on going (one ended up crashing into St. Mary’s and the other got busted near USF) and the other was due to a Trader Joe’s shopper jaywalking across Masonic north of Geary – this kind of jaywalking still happens hundreds of times a day even now.

So This New “Fixed” Company is Stapling Its Ads to SFMTA MUNI Parking Tickets – Is This Kosher?

Monday, August 18th, 2014

[UPDATE: Kevin Montgomery of ValleyWag has more on this topic. And yeah, at first I thought the the company was offering to pay the ticket out of its own pocket, but I don't think that's the case - it's just an ad. Anyway, I'll see if I can find another one of these ads to check all what it says. IMO, the first step after you get a ticket is figuring whether you deserved it or not. Well, were you blocking the street sweeper or not? Oh, you were? So why try to get the ticket "fixed?"]

IDK.

Here’s how I found things on Ashbury, in situ, with this fresh ticket from area bureaucrat Ed Reiskin sitting on the street:

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So I’ll explain this company’s bidness model: You give it your SFMTA citation information and it’ll try to “fix” your ticket the way the SFPD famously fixes tickets for ineffectual Mayor Ed Lee.

But how did this ticket end up on the ground? Perhaps the owner thought s/he would simply pay online and then tossed the ticket? Or maybe the owner thought this windshield flier was just another windshield flier and so just tossed it on the ground? Or perhaps the Fixed person didn’t take care when trying to put the ticket back after stapling it to the ad?

I’ll tell you, I don’t think you’re supposed to be taking tickets off of cars, as they are required to be there before the SFMTA can take your money to keep for itself. (Of course sometimes a citation might fall off of a car on its own, but all the SFMTA is required to do is to try to notify the driver, and this effort is followed up by mail.)

What’ll be next to be stapled to your parking tickets – restaurant menus?

And what does this mean?

“Up to 50% of tickets are dismissed when challenged.”

I’ll tell you, up to 50% of the gold medals handed out in the most recent Olympics were awarded to me!

Yeah, that’s the ticket…

In conclusion, I cry foul over this ham-fisted marketing effort.

Question: What Actually Powers This New “ELECTRIC POWERED” MUNI Bus? One Simple Trick!

Friday, August 15th, 2014

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SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER

Answer: Diesel!

But the people at MUNI think you’re stupid, and they want you to like them more, so that’s why they lie.

BONUS ROUND: 

Hey, what did the SFMTA MUNI dump into San Francisco Bay that resulted in a petroleum spill that rivalled the Cosco Busan’s?

Answer: Diesel!

No Parking Laws For Us Please, We’re Christians!

Monday, August 11th, 2014

Free church double-parking, SFMTA-approved:

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