San Francisco Citizen

The San Francisco Business Times has seen fit to update us about Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk in just four pithy grafs. Hurray!

By the numbers:

1. Can you guess which organ from his body is especially large? (Give it a try – it’s fun!)

2. Electric motors* have “crazy torque” because of Sainted Elon Musk the Divine Creator, the “Chief Product Architect” of Life and not because of the Laws of the Universe or Intelligent Design or the Blessings of Gaia the Earth Goddess or anything like that.

3. NASA sux, compared to Elon, anyway. ‘Nough said.

4. E.M. must have “some cold fusion battery** powering him that makes him also way smarter” than All of God’s Chil’ren. (Including you, Gentle Reader.)

So, this is how the San Francisco Business Times sees Elon…

…and this is how I*** see him. (Can you imagine – his ex-wife gave birth to just five(!) of his kids while he went out and did all the work. And his ex-partner / co-Founder at Tesla Motors, well that guy let Elon the Man-Child down as well. Oh, we are not worthy, Elon, nobody else but you is Worthy, Elon!)

Take your pick.

Regardless, All Hail Elon Musk!

*Now, you can call an engine a motor but not the other way ’round. Truth. “In common usage, an engine burns or otherwise consumes fuel, and is differentiated from an electric machine (i.e., electric motor) that derives power without changing the composition of matter.”

**Uuuuuuuuh… no comment.

***Actually, ’tis I what owns a pair of pink Crocs, size XXL, $14.97 from Costco back in the day. (Think this is called “projection” or something…)