See? On the 101, southbound.
The place looks like Prius NASCAR sometimes:
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Regular Americans like my Nana have are switching over to the Korean competition, but Marinites are staying loyal to Big T, it seems.
This is pretty much to scale, believe it* or not.
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And actually, the real wing of this KC-10 jet, which would be considered the size of a medium-big jetliner these days, is smaller than what you’ll find on Craaaaaazy Larry Ellison’s AC72 America’s Cup yachts.
And actually, Craaaaaazy Larry Ellison’s AC72 America’s Cup yachts have wings bigger those found on monstrous Boeing 747’s, your prototypical jumbo jets.
Hey Larry! Why don’t we use smaller wings on days when the wind is blowing a lot? Oh, you said no, Larry? OK fine.
But hey Larry! Why don’t we allow control devices like, IDK, spoilers, you know, the way other similar-sized wings have? Oh, you said no, Larry? OK fine.
But hey Larry! Why don’t we have a spoiler system for use in emergency situations, like NASCAR has, you know, since your people felt the need to promote this under-regulated “sport” as “NASCAR ON THE WATER?”
Oh, you said no, Larry? OK fine.
But you WILL take eight figures from the taxpayers of San Francisco in order to fund your ego-gratification race?
Well then, On With The Show.
*Your DC-10, MD-10, KC10 type aircraft were famous for having big, big tailplanes, back in the day, the likes of which you can see in this photo, the horizontal stabilizer you can see at the back. Which was fine, but it wasn’t efficient because tailplanes don’t really lift anything. So, McDonnell-Douglas engineers made the updated model, the MD-11, with a smaller tailplane. And they also strengthened the landing gear to deal with the lengthened body. All these things led to a more efficient but harder-to-handle aircraft. So in tough landing situations things head south in a hurry and, instead of the landing gear collapsing, you’ll break a wing off and roll over. (See below.) These days, this is mostly a problem for FedEx pilots and it will continue to be for the foreseeable future. Godspeed, FedEx pilots.
Oh, and this wasn’t the only safety issue with this unsuccessful and relatively rare a/c.
Answer: It doesn’t.
Let’s meet the team – there’s a white boy, a white boy, a white boy, a white boy, and a white boy:
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Hey, why don’t they call themselves Team North Korea, cause, you know, that would be just as accurate.
Or, indeed, Team Kyrgyzstan, you know, whatever.
(There was an idea to have actual Koreans on Team Korea. First, it was going to be 30% Korean, and then 15% and then after those proposals got shot down we’re back to the original requirement of 0% Korean. And if you think China Team is Chinese, well…)
Oh what’s that, it’s where the boat was made is what counts? But isn’t this a spec race with all the boats basically the same?
The World Wonders.
Now, speaking of Team Korea, let’s check in:
You’ll note that this Tweet was “promoted” by purported Korean Mark Bulkeley, so that his banal message would go out to more than just his few dozen Followers. One could assume that one Markie B. was paying some hard-earned won or quid or whatever they use for money wherever he’s from or pretends he’s from, but he says he Tweets his unsolicited Tweets at no charge.
Perhaps the City and County of San Francisco is picking up the Tweeting bills of all the “professional sailors” involved in the America’s Cup scrimmage races?
Speaking of which, how much is each Sailor costing San Francisco taxpayers? About $100,000, $200,000 each? It’s like welfare for the “sailing community,” huh?
Speaking of which, isn’t the America’s Cup a big disappointment already? I think it is.
So it’s “NASCAR on the bay” complete with faked incidents for the cameras (like last year’s pitchpole near Alcatraz – that’s the first thing they show on the broadcast that nobody wants to pay for) and yet still nobody’s interested.
P.S. Nobody cares about anything related to the America’s Cup, you’ll see. They had a scrimmage down in San Diego not too long ago and nobody showed. Anyway, this whole deal is kind of a fraud. You’ll see.
This is the one I know. (No matter how drunk the sorority girl, she could sing along with the “na-na, na-na” refrain, so that was a bonus, back in the 90’s.)
Anyway, deets below.
“Train Announces The San Francisco 2012 Tour
Intimate Shows in Band’s Hometown – New Release CALIFORNIA 37 Coming April 17
“Drive By” Video Premieres on VH1; Top 10 At Radio
Lead Singer Pat Monahan Sings National Anthem for 54th Annual Daytona 500 on February 26
NEW YORK, Feb. 21, 2012– Grammy Award-winning band Train is gearing up for the group’s San Francisco 2012 Tour, a special hometown run of club shows, in expectation of the upcoming album CALIFORNIA 37, out April 17 on Columbia Records. The band kicks off six intimate performances in San Francisco starting April 10 at Cafe Du Nord and finishing up April 15 at the Fillmore. A portion of the ticket sales proceeds will go to the San Francisco charity Family House, which provides temporary housing to families of seriously ill children. Train referenced their commitment to the Bay area and their fans where they began their illustrious career in 2009’s multiplatinum album, SAVE ME, SAN FRANCISCO. Full list of dates below. The band is also revealing the CALIFORNIA 37 cover art on trainline.com today (and attached here).
The first single from CALIFORNIA 37, “Drive By,” continues to climb the radio charts and has already entered the Top 10 at both the AAA and HOT AC formats. It is also charting at Top 40 and moving up quickly. “Drive By” has sold over 200,000 singles since its release in January. The “Drive By” video premiered on VH1 on February 18 and has gone into rotation there and with support from VEVO. Internationally “Drive By” has been embraced in the UK, Canada, Japan, France, Australia, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, Netherlands, Switzerland and other countries.
Train is heading to the premiere NASCAR event, the Daytona 500, on February 26 when lead singer Pat Monahan will perform the national anthem before thousands of fans live and millions watching on television. The Daytona 500 will air at 1:00pm EST on Fox.
The multiplatinum band TRAIN made its mark on music history with their GRAMMY-Award-winning song “Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)” and chart-topping singles “Meet Virginia” and “Calling All Angels.” Train earned their third GRAMMY in 2011 for the worldwide smash “Hey Soul Sister” from SAVE ME, SAN FRANCISCO. “Hey Soul Sister” was the biggest selling single of 2010 and hit #1 at radio in the US and in 15 countries abroad. SAVE ME, SAN FRANCISCO has sold over one million albums worldwide and over ten million tracks. In addition to taking the sales and radio worlds by storm, Train has been all over television. They have performed on the NFC Championship Game, American Music Awards, the Grammy Nomination Concert, Crossroads, The Today Show, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Monday Night Football, A&E Private Sessions, America’s Got Talent, The View, Dancing With The Stars, and Live With Regis and Kelly, Ellen DeGeneres Show, The Bachelor,Rachael Ray and more.
TRAIN PRESENTS THE SAN FRANCISCO TOUR
APR 10 – Cafe Du Nord
APR 11 – Great American Music Hall
APR 12 – Bimbo’s
APR 13- Slim’s
APR 14 – Independent
APR 15 – Fillmore
SOURCE Columbia Records
You can read the latest press release from the America’s Cup people below. I don’t know when it was put out, possibly at 3:00 AM on Thanksgiving Day, you know, cause that’s how you’re supposed to handle bad news, I guess.
“Sources close to the America’s Cup said Thompson’s exit was the result of lackluster financial performance of the America’s Cup World Series, a collection of races around the world leading up to the 2013 finale. World Series races have been held in Portugal, England and one week ago in San Diego. Coming events are scheduled for Italy and Newport, R.I.”
So, what makes the America’s Cup 2013 good for San Francisco? Are we getting paid to host it? I don’t think so. And, in fact, I think we’re on the hook for lots of costs that we don’t fully understand at this point. And the person who was supposed to look out for us is now the former Mayor , but, no matter, they’re making him Honorary Commodore or Poohbah or whatever of the whole thing?
Check out a recap show right here, if you want. (Unlike the case with popular sports, you don’t have pay to watch the America’s Cup World Series.) The first minute shows what I’m talking about.
Oh, yeah, the boats are faster, I get that. And oh yeah, these rigs crash with regularity. Like this:
Via mikesm – click to expand
I get that, but what makes this event good? It’s not going to be popular, it’s not going to make money for us. Some businesses will benefit, some won’t, some will be hurt, just like with any other government program. Some people will get temporary gigs and hotels will be able to raise their rates, but this event, overall, isn’t for San Francisco’s benefit.
It’s for the 1% but it’s paid for by the 99%.
Speaking of which, if Larry Ellison wrote a check to the City and County right now for $100,000,000 (put “For Larry’s boat race” in the memo part, LE) AND put up a $500,000,000 account or bond or whatever that people wronged by the America’s Cup could recover from, let’s say, until 2016 or so, well that would turn my frown not necessarily upside-down but back to neutral anyway.
I mean who gives a fuck if Larry Ellison wins another boat race except for Larry Ellison himself? So why isn’t he paying for it?
Speaking of which, again, a good chunk of the 1% doesn’t like all the new changes.
To wit, Sailor44:
“I have watched a couple ofthe match races and, due to the speed of the boats now, and their abiity to quickly accelerate in a small puff, the tactics of the match race are left behind and all we have left is to watch for capsizes, and a lot of spray coming over the bow(s). All this is reflected in the new course, which is nothing but a reach (a drag race, really) to the first mark. Good grief, this eliminates most of the interesting pre race maneuvering, which is most of match racing!”
The ACEA seems to be quite proud (check out Teams Korea’s captain at 1:35 – I think he’s speaking English but I don’t understand half his words) about the times when these cats capsize (the title says “very funny,” but it’s actually it’s extremely funny (even though the daggerboard is the floating kind and it’s properly tied down anyway)) and/or pitchpole. Does the NFL put out Greatest Injuries clips? Does NASCAR put out Greatest Crashes clips? NTIKO. These AC45 rigs have waaaaay too much sail for the conditions that you see in the official ACEA video clips. Why is that?
So you make all these changes, but maybe spectators would just rather look at something else? I mean, if you wanted to lose money putting on a event, why not pay money to bring Rajon Rondo here to play Lebron James one-on-one or something. Why not bring things here that people like? Why are we on the hook for the popularity of a sport that nobody’s really into? We do we have these department heads, who don’t know Jack, out there mindlessly cheerleading for this stupid event that was poorly negotiated. It’s pathetic.
Here’s the release, the one letting us know that Craig Thompson “decided to leave the Event Authority,” you know because he got canned:
“The America’s Cup Event Authority has extended the role of Richard Worth to include Chief Executive Officer along with Chairman. In this expanded role, Richard will be responsible for the commercial interests of the 34th America’s Cup, adding marketing and partnerships to his purview. A 30-year sports marketing executive with extensive global broadcasting and leadership experience, we believe Richard’s hands-on engagement will allow us to significantly enhance the growth of our commercial efforts in support of fulfilling the vision for the 34th America’s Cup.
Overall management of the events will move to America’s Cup Race Management, who will now lead both the on- and off-the-water components of the events, as well as serve as liaison to the teams. Building upon their proven success with event management, led by ACRM CEO and Regatta Director Iain Murray, we believe that centralizing management of the events under ACRM ensures an even smoother road to success.
With this realignment of responsibilities, Craig Thompson has decided to leave the Event Authority. Craig has played an important role over the past year in helping to build the foundation of our future, and we appreciate his significant contributions.”
And oh, for completeness, the latest release from the the Powers That Be
Here’s something for your Bucket List – you and your buds should spend 40 minutes to journey on up to the Infineon Raceway in bucolic Sonoma County for the annual NASCAR Sprint Cup Toyota/Save Mart 350. I’ll tell you, never before have I seen such a collection of military jets, helicopters, U.S. Air Force generals, U.S. Army howitzers, skydivers, 18-wheelers, RV’s, motorcycles, fun, attractive, we’re-happy-to-be-here groups of women, affable dirtbags drinking beer, and loud, loud, loud race cars all in one place in the bay area.
It’s like you cross over the Petaluma and enter into a different world.
Who goes to this annual event? People like actor Tom Cruise, 49er Roger Craig, Assemblywoman Fiona Ma, and a host of local celebrities too numerous to mention. And yet, this event doesn’t seem to get all that much attention from the press in the 415. That’s funny.
Anyway, why not let’s take a look-see.
The custom exhaust headers on this cow should tell you that this part of Sonoma County isn’t the regular kind of Wine Country that you know and love:
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If you want to go to the bay area wine country on Race Day, plan on leaving your house by 7:30 AM. There’ll be traffic up there, but it will be well-managed. (I’ve never experienced them, but I understand that the traffic jams are no picnic. Oh well, you just need to plan a bit and you’ll be fine.)
The mise-en-scenefrom Sunday Raceday 2010. There’s a huge facility down there big enough to have resident deer living inside(!) the racetrack:
The logistics of this traveling road show are amazing:
Now, speaking of fun and attractive, a NASCAR Regional Manager named Krystal managed to finagle me a garage-and-pits pass, which lets you see a beehive of activity up close, not that I knew what was going on. But these teens seemed to know the score – they certainly were happy to be at the garage when noisy #88 fired up for the first time on race day anyway:
Red Bull was in the house. (One hit from this contraption is probably three or four cans’ worth.)
O.K. that’s the garage. Now, let’s go out to the track where this friendly middle-aged fellow was offering people rides in his front-wheel-drive Camry hybrid:
Oh no, turns out he’s former NASCAR owner-driver and mechanical engineer Brett Bodine! I haven’t been this scared inside of a hybrid Toyota up in Sonoma since that last time visiting constituents with Senator what’s-her-name:
This is my impression of yesterday’s ride-along. OMG, we were just haulingaround the track, pulling those lateral g’s, on the aprons, over the aprons, etc:
I was astonished at how fast we went in this four-banger sedan:
Whoop, now it’s time to visit a “hauler,” a rolling garage on 18 wheels. Here’s the one from Kevin Harvick, Inc.:
This 18-wheeler is laid out like an airplane. Here are some spare parts going back into a closet:
Anything you need to fix a car is in one of these drawers right here:
And speaking of spare parts, here’s an entire spare #29 hiding up in the attic of the trailer:
Who else has dropped by for a visit but 2010 Grand Marshall Roger Craig!
Inspecting the front of the trailer with series leader Kevin Harvick hisself:
Time for a quick photo and then they were off for more pre-race preparations:
What else goes on before the race? Everything. Our local Coasties delivered the trophy by twirlypopper…
The Patriots air team made a few passes in their Eastern Bloc jet trainers…
Lovely HLN newslady Robin Meade belted out our National Anthem and signed a lot of caps…
World-famous Juan Pablo Montoya accepted an award…
The Infineon Raceway Girls circulated…
The Army dropped by with plenty of Humvees and 105mm howitzers…
The drivers and their wives strutted on the catwalk…
A giant Save Mart shopping cart made the rounds…
And the street sweepers took a few laps.
Whew. Now it’s time for some racing. So let’s use four ATV’s to slowly herd the fans off the track and leave us begin:
Yes, I had earplugs but, yes, my ears are still ringing. I’ll tell you, you don’t want to get anywhere near these monsters without airline-style, headphone ear muffs:
These cars were hauling butt, even though they were on a road course. (They’re capable of getting up to about a third of the speed of sound on those oval tracks.)
Sometimes their wheels leave the ground and fly for a bit:
Is this a backfire? I think so:
Here’s a bigger one:
A smokey burnout on pit lane:
And here’s the prize. You get a wine goblet, too:
So, there you have it. Of course it’s a bit of a culture clash – it’s NASCAR stock-car racing in the bay area’s otherwise-boring Sonoma County.
But no matter, it’s a spectacle. Make plans to take a visit next year in June 2011. Y’all come back now.
See you there!
NASCAR, the second-biggest car racing series in the world, is fixing to liven up bucolic Sonoma on Father’s Day.
“Celebrate Father’s Day in the Wine County at the Toyota/Save Mart 350 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series weekend, June 18-20. Why give dad a necktie when you can give him the gift of Jeff Gordon, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Tony Stewart swapping paint on the twisting road course.”
These NASCAR posters on sale for the giveaway price of $.25 aren’t exactly blowing out the doors of our Lucky Stores. (Pepsi must think that San Francisco is just another town on the NASCAR circuit.)
Imagine NASCAR as Pixar’s Cars movie come to life – that’s the best way to describe it.
Anyway, be sure to make allowances for the crowds if you’re planning on going up to Wine Country this weekend.