Posts Tagged ‘new york times’

One-Percent Photoshoot, 94104 – Despicable Him, Numerous Minions – That Old Standby: Blue Blazer, Khakis

Thursday, July 18th, 2013

Some day, some day, some day, I’ll be the peacock

Winsome on Sansome:

Click to expand – now that’s a telephoto lens, so I guess the photographer won’t capture the copy of The New York Times that Dude is holding

Some day, some day, some day, Dominion

Once Again, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk Proves Himself Wrong Over the Shortcomings of the Expensive Model S

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

Let’s check in on troubled Tesla Motors’ troubled CEO, Elon Musk.

Here he is – please try to guess which photo here has Photoshopped footwear. It’s not easy:

You see, ’cause one’s a joke and the other, well, the other’s kind of a joke as well.

Oh well.

First of all, let’s examine the appropriate number of kids to have with a woman a’fore trading her in on a new model.

In Elon’s case, that number is five.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Five kids.

Then bam, you move on.

If you’re Elon.

And what does your first wife say to all this? She’s all, well at least Elon’s new gal isn’t a blonde.*

Cause you see, that would fit the profile of a stereotypical messianic middle-aged asshole CEO-type to a T.

Which rhymes with T (sort of).

Which stands for Trouble, Tesla, and The Times.

So let’s see, from the mouth of the horse, or jack-ass, your pick:

“NYTimes article about Tesla range in cold is fake. Vehicle logs tell true story that he didn’t actually charge to max & took a long detour.”

Well, as discussed here, that bit in the NYT (instigated by Tesla to show off its branded power stations) had issues.

But was it fake?

NO, NOT AT ALL.

So you were wrong, Elon.

And oh what’s that, you have the logs from the car, but not GPS data or recordings from Tesla Customer Service?

Isn’t that kind of funny?

And Elon, how much range should your six-figure car lose after parking it overnight when it’s cold?

What’s the appropriate amount?

And Elon, isn’t your Model S sort of a ridiculous vehicle being big on the outside (longer AND wider than an eight-passenger Toyota Land Cruiser) and small on the inside?

And Elon, didn’t you promise you’d deliver 5000 vehicles last year?

And are going to meet that goal? I don’t think so.

You see, a normal person would feel bad about breaking a promise.

Do you feel bad sometimes, you know, when all those things you’ve said would happen don’t actually happen, you know, actually and IRL?

I don’t know.

And oh, there’s this:

“Detail showing car driving around in circles in front of the Milford Supercharger trying to get Model S to stop.”

Would you like to correct that one, Elon?

Didn’t think so.

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you use your own money to fund Tesla?

Hey Elon, if you’re so rich and confident, why don’t you guarantee the loan guarantee you worked out with the feds?

You know, so the taxpayers’ half a billion dollars wouldn’t be at risk.

So here’s your lesson, Elon:

Elon Musk and How Not to Handle a PR Crisis.

See how that works?

So this is wrong:

Yesterday, The New York Times reversed its opinion on the review of our Model S…”

Why don’t you correct yourself, Elon?

Oh, here’s somebody who’s not wedded to the idea of Tesla being the greatest corporation evah:

John Markoff ‏@markoff Excuse me Elon, but Margaret Sullivan does not speak for the NYT. Distortion to say the NYT “reversed.”

Oh Elon, will you ever win?

(And please pay back our money soon, m’kay? ‘Cause we’re still out for Solyndra ‘n stuff.)

*At least you didn’t shoot her through the bathroom door four times, srsly.

Who Killed the Electric Car (Again)? Tesla CEO Elon Musk Did – “Stalled Out on Tesla’s Electric Highway”

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

Vaunted Tesla Motors’ vaunted Model S sedan getting towed at the end of a New York Times test drive:

Click to expand

Oh Elon Musk, will you ever win?

Oh Elon Musk, your jackassery actually hurts the industry you’re trying to promote.

Oh Tesla CEO and media criticElon Musk, don’t you yourself burn far, far more petroleum than the average American? Like you get a loan from the taxpayers and a good chunk of that money goes to paying your aviation fuel costs, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Isn’t it ironic?

Dont’cha think?

Read the news and turn the pages/

Watch them play a different game/

And [soon enough] no one knows your name

 

 

Attention Dog Owners: Golden Gate Park is, Once Again, Coyote Country, So Leash Your Critters Accordingly

Monday, January 14th, 2013

You see this? This is JFK Jr. Drive in Golden Gate Park from over the weekend:

Another great nature shot from famous San Francisco photographer David Cruz. As always, He’s Everywhere You Want To Be

So this is a good time to review the rules:

“Can my dog walk around the park with me beyond the designated off-leash areas?

Yes, your four-legged friend may accompany you throughout the park if you both obey the leash laws of California.”

Otherwise, you’ll become another derided dog owner, like this one:

Remember, as soon as you use the term “voice control” you lose…

DPT SFPark Fail: Expensive Sensors “Bedeviled by Electromagnetic Interference from Overhead Trolley Lines” per NYT

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

Instead of the SFMTA MUNI DPT SFPark happy talk what you’ve been getting from the San Francisco Examiner, why not check out what the New York Times has to say about San Francisco’s expensive SFPark new parking meter program.

“PLACE “smart” in front of a noun and you immediately have something that somehow sounds improved.”

Heh.

Click to expand

The Lincoln Lawyer: Know Your Tall, Bearded, Republican Pols – Supervisor Scott Wiener and President Abraham Lincoln

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

Have you seen the Sunday NYT? It features San Francisco’s very own Supervisor Scott Wiener.

Check it and note the closeted Republican theme.

All right, babe, try to pose like Abraham Lincoln – that’s it, sober, sober, c’mon give me a lot more sober, that’s it, hold it, hold it, CLICK:      

Click to expand

Oh what’s that, Gentle Reader? You’ve been to City Hall and you know for a fact that the wood inside the big chambers up on the second floor doesn’t actually glow IRL.? All right, well let’s tone that down, thusly:

How about a Lincoln hat? Here you go:

Now we’re going to lose the hat but go full desaturated. I think we’ve reached endgame:

Links:

Lincoln (2012 film)

The Lincoln Lawyer (film)

Log Cabin Republicans

OMG, Fall Chocolate Salon, Fall Chocolate Salon, Fall Chocolate Salon! – Nov. 11, 2012 – Ft. Mason – Get Tickets Now

Friday, November 2nd, 2012

It’ll look just like this.

It’ll cost you like $21-something for your ticket. Buy it now if you’re planning on going.

All the deets, below.

In closing, Fall Chocolate Salon, Fall Chocolate Salon, Fall Chocolate Salon!

TasteTV and the International Chocolate Salon are pleased to announce that the 3rd Annual Fall Chocolate Salon is scheduled for Nov. 11th.

FALL CHOCOLATE SALON 11/11

Chocolate lovers, en garde! A unique event with limited tickets available for attendees, the Fall Luxury CHOCOLATE SALON participants include over 25 chocolatiers, confectioners, wineries and other culinary artisans.

An intimate setting, the Fall Chocolate Salon is the perfect place to find the perfect Holiday gift, while tasting and savoring the chocolate lovers experience.

Advance Tickets available through November 10th, while quantities last. (No Tickets at Door. San Francisco)

Celebrating its anniversary, the 2012 Third Annual Fall Luxury CHOCOLATE SALON participants include chocolatiers, confectioners, and other culinary artisans, such as Amano Artisan Chocolate, The TeaRoom Chocolate Company, Saratoga Chocolates, Toffee Talk, Smitten: Artisan Truffles, La Chatelaine Chocolat Co., Toffeeology, Jade Chocolates, Feve Artisan Chocolatier, Socola Chocolatier, Sixth Course Artisan Confections, Clarine’s Florentines, Plumeria Flours, Butterfly Brittle, CocoTutti, Marti Chocolatt, Snake & Butterfly, Quail Point Chocolates, Rachel Dunn Chocolates, Kallari Chocolate, Be A Gourmet, Farm Fresh To You, Gems and Silver Jewelry, The Winery SF, Jerk’NPickle, TasteTV,and more.

FallChocolateSalon.com

The Sainted New York Times Takes a Look at Ron Conway and San Francisco’s Corrupt Twitterloin

Tuesday, June 5th, 2012

Right here:

New San Francisco Tech Boom Brings Jobs but Also Worries

NB: A Japanese and Chinese restaurant is actually a Chinese restaurant, like this one on Market near Sixth, just saying.

Click to expand

NB2: Twitter will never ever ever ever employ 2600 people in San Francisco.

NB3: Never ever.

The Horrible Dog Owners of San Francisco: So This is What an Off-Leash Dog vs. Wild Coyote Incident Looks Like

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Via SFist comes news of a short video of a dog-coyote interaction in Golden Gate Park. (This is news to me, anyway. Thanks, Norimitsu Onishi of the New York Times.)

Here’s your problem, it’s yet another off-leash dog in Glen Park:

Now, how would this affair end up getting described by a bad dog owner to, I don’t know, a simple-minded reporter the likes of CW Nevius?

Coyotes aren’t dangerous, dogs are dangerous.

“Animal Care & Control Concerned About Coyote Interactions

San Francisco – San Franciscans do not seem to be getting the message about how to coexist peacefully with local wildlife.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control has been notified about individuals who still allow their dogs illegally off -leash in active coyote areas despite education, posters, flyers, signs and barriers all warning dog owners to abide by the law and keep their dogs on-leash or, better yet, avoid the marked areas entirely. These irresponsible individuals are putting themselves, their dogs, and the coyotes and their pups at great risk (see video link below). Accordingly, after seeking expert advice and in collaboration with the San Francisco Recreation and Park Department, San Francisco Animal Care & Control suggested closure of locations in Golden Gate Park where coyotes appear to be anxiously protecting dens.

San Franciscans share natural places with a variety of wildlife, including coyotes. Temporary park closures are for the comfort and safety of people, pets and wildlife during breeding season. Birthing and pup rearing has the local coyotes feeling hormonally more protective which may result in more assertive behavior (as in the video). Our goals are to give coyote families temporary relief from stress (dogs) while ensuring public safety. Preventing confrontations such as this is the best policy.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control receives many inquiries about options for removing the coyotes. Relocation is illegal under CA State law. It is also inhumane. Lethal removal is ineffective and unethical since another coyote will simply take its place, often within weeks. San Francisco Animal Care & Control and coyote experts feel that the local coyotes are here to stay and their hope is that the community learns to peacefully coexist with them.

San Francisco Animal Care & Control encourages the community to be responsible pet guardians; leash dogs where required and respect temporary park closures. Wildlife in San Francisco needs a little breathing room while its young are present. Urban wildlife is part of the health of San Francisco’s parks – part of the heritage and history of our area – and coexistence is possible with a little give-and-take.Link to film of dogs harassing coyotes in San Francisco:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9vmpgzF8sU&list=UUtZ-dJ3bfs61GpS-9p9rpJQ&index=1&feature=p1cp

The Department of Animal Care & Control is a taxpayer-funded, open door animal shelter. ACC provides housing, care and medical treatment to wild, exotic and domestic stray, lost, abandoned sick, injured and/or surrendered animals. ACC aims to rehome or reunite domestic animals with their guardians and to rehabilitate and release wildlife to their native habitat. ACC responds to animal related emergencies 24/7 including animal abuse and neglect as well as matters of public safety. Animal Care & Control is located at 1200 15th St. (at Harrison.)

Deb Campbell
Volunteer / Outreach Coordinator

Animal Care & Control
1200 15th Street
San Francisco, CA. 94103

Phone:415.554.9427
Fax: 415.557.9950
E.Mail: deb.campbell@sfgov.org

www.animalshelter.sfgov.org”

The Sainted New York Times Discovers San Francisco’s Corrupt Twitterloin: “Western SoMa Area of San Francisco Is Resurgent”

Tuesday, March 20th, 2012

Leave us begin:

“NEAR the corner of Mission and Seventh Streets in San Francisco on a recent Sunday, a woman and her 30-something son sidestepped two scruffy men passed out against the side of a building. “This is where the restaurant is?” she asked skeptically, turning to her son, who was taking her to brunch at the recently opened AQ (1085 Mission; 415-341-9000; aq-sf.com).”

“AQ?” WTF, NYT?

“AQ stands for ‘as quoted’”

Now I’m on the trolley – thanks for hepping me, writer Bonnie Tsui.

But, IRL, this current Mid Market resurgence dates back to the “sharply discounted office space” given to former Mayor Gavin Newsom, does it not? Actually, I think I read about it in the aforementioned New York Times.

Isn’t it ironic?

Dontcha think?

Ah, Market Street:

Click to expand

Anyway, here are the others namechecked:

De la Paz Coffee Roaster (1081 Mission Street; 415-525-4344;delapazcoffee.com)

Cocktail Bill Boothby Center for the Beverage Arts (1161 Mission Street, Suite 120; 415-967-1891; theboothbycenter.org

Huckleberry Bicycles (1073 Market Street; 415-484-6575; huckleberrybicycles.com)

All right, see you in the resurgent Mid-Market, when I’m not vacationing from San Francisco in the bleak Outer Sunset