Posts Tagged ‘nike’

My Small Beef with Nike’s Very Expensive, Very Stylized San Francisco Photo Shoot from Summer 2014

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.

But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.

Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 at all), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the fitness bunnies to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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I can see Photoshop being pushed to its limits here, not that it’s bad or anything. The model on the right almost looks like a cartoon, almost like a female Jumpman

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Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other photo shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:

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Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL

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More of the same

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N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?

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What’s this?

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Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!

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Very SF, but not a real runner

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Very SF, but not a real runner

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Not SF

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And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision

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IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.

Why not use real women from San Francisco next time, Nike?

*One assumes. Prove me wrong!

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

Friday, October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014′s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

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If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:

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The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

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Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

Nike Women’s Marathon Media Van #2 Going Waaaaaay Too Fast for the Narrow Streets and Lanes of the Western Addition

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Uh, it’s just the 2013 Nike Half-Marathon, it’s not Armageddon, or even Deep Impact. Where’s the fire, minivan lady? I mean, nobody really cares about the Nike (excepting for the concomitant silver bling from Tiffany’s that Finishers so covet), but people will care if you run over a ped, right?

Also, Nevada plates?

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Now, Oregon plates, you know, from California’s Other Deadbeat Neighbor, from Nike’s Home State, well, I’d almost go for that.

In conclusion, I cry foul.

1990-Era Nike Air Max Shoes are Back, Baby! – Sighted in the Wilds of the Twitterloin – Orange and Black are IN Again

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

I remember when these kicks were being sold the first time around…

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Sucker Watch: Most Participants Won’t Pay to Enter the 2013 Bay to Breakers Fun Run So Why Should You?

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

Oh, you are a sucker. Well, then be my guest – pay $48 for a number. And actually, and you’ll enjoy this, sucker, it’s already too late to get a good deal on registration for 2013. Prices be higher now.

Most people who aren’t professional runners  don’t pay and here’s a good reason not to pay:

Your money goes directly to “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz.

And then he takes your $$$$$ and uses it to, over the years, oppose the concept of evolution and fund anti-gay efforts.

(It’s funny that he even took an interest in this historic fun run and street party but he likes running so there y0u go.)

The reason that organizers won’t say how many “bandits” show up for the party is because they don’t want you to think that most people don’t pay.

But, IRL, most people don’t pay.

If you don’t believe me then take a NSFW look right here.

How many bibs do you see? Every year they say they will eject all these people and every year they don’t actually do it.

Now the San Francisco Nike Womens Marathon is different. You see, they give out coveted awards and people just can’t help themselves. And then stuff like this happens; “NO BIB NO BIB NO BIB!

But B2B aint like that.

One difference this year will be a limit on the size of the bags you might carry.

It’s like the size of Fook Mi’s backpack, best I can imagine.

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All right, have a great 2013 B2B.

And if you want to pay money to somebody, just take whatever your reg fee is and give it to Pride or whatever.

End Of Line.

“NO BIB, NO BIB, NO BIB!” – A “Bandit’s” Tale of Woe: “I Got Thrown Out of the Nike Women’s Marathon”

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Poor Cindy Carcamo. All she wanted to do was to run our Nike Womens Marathon last year. Check it:

Cindy Carcamo paid $115 to enter the half-marathon portion of last year’s Nike Women’s Marathon. After months of training hard, she flew to San Francisco to run the race, only to be kicked out 40 yards short of the finish line. Her mistake? Losing her bib the morning of the race. An Orange County Register reporter, Ms. Carcamo wrote an article called, ‘My half marathon comes to a bitter end.’”

How wude! Now let’s catch the action on the Great Highway near Ocean Beach:

“A brunette in gray popped up in front of me, crashing through that daydream.

“Where’s your bib number?” she asked.

“No bib! No bib! No bib!” she yelled out to others.

In a scene worthy of a “Seinfeld” episode, I was intercepted.

I repeated my argument about the chip and the number.

Still, they wouldn’t budge and they put their hands on my shoulders.

“I’ve trained months for this race. Please let me finish,” I pleaded.

No response. Instead, they physically pushed me off the course and past the railings, casting me out like a criminal.

No official time. No finisher’s medal. No warning.”

Cindy thought her back-up mini-bib would be good enough, but no dice. Here she was during happier times, stretching in Union Square pre-race:

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Apparently, Nike doesn’t want to publicize how they fight biblesss “bandits” because that gives people the idea that it’s not really necessary to pay.

Oh well.

Thank goodness there’s no harsh penalty like that for the Bay to Breakers Civic Party and Fun Run, right? I mean, if a one-percenter like the Mayor doesn’t need a bib, then a nobody like you certainly shouldn’t need one either, right?

Plus your registration money would just go to a hateful billionaire in Colorado anyway.

All right, train hard.

Know Better Your Marin County: Nuclear-Capable Hill 88 Plus the West, Middle, and East Peaks of Mount Tamalpais

Tuesday, September 6th, 2011

How many hills do you know of what come with their own Yelp entry?

You ought to get on up there sometime to check it out:

Hill 88 is a wild ghost town in the sky, hidden way up high in the Marin Headlands. It’s on Wolf Ridge, between Fort Cronkhite/Rodeo Beach and Tennessee Valley. You can barely see it from below, and it’s nothing like most of the old little rusty lifeless bunker sites. This is a crazy Cold War mega-complex teeming with tons of crows dancing in the whipping wind above huge expanses of the bay and SF. It’s part of the old Nike Missile program, officially SF-88C. Was apparently the radar and control center (aka the IFC, or Integrated Fire Control area) of the Nike Missile launch site that’s further down the hill to the east.”

So, those are some of the remnants of Project Nike on top of now-flattened Hill 88 in the foreground along with the three peaks of Mount Tam (with the West Peak also flattened by the Air Force) in the background.

As seen from San Francisco:

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Now, you Know Better Your Marin County.

Why is Bay Area Congressman Mike Honda So Blue? A Lesson in White Balance

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Somewhere down there in Silicon Valley / San Jose is California’s 15th Congressional District, represented by Congressman Mike Honda, O.K. fine.

Now, this is, or used to be, or still sort of is his official photo, possibly taken in Washington D.C., possibly a digital image that got scanned in, O.K. fine.

Now, was he wearing a white shirt that day? Honda in Bleu:

Can’t tell.

Oh, here were go. This alteration assumes he was wearing a white shirt and that his white hairs are, in fact, white, or colorless or whatever you want to call it. A few clicks yields:

Probably a bit on the purple side but oh well.

But this is what a professional illustrator did, taking things a bit further, white balance-wise and clicks-wise:

Point being, you can’t just scan in a photo and call it day, you gots to make sure that white is still white.

That is all.

 

Compost Now Inundating San Francisco’s Cold War Missile Base up at the Presidio

Friday, July 30th, 2010

The way things are going, the old missile magazines (horizontal silos, basically) up at the Presidio will soon be covered over with mulch or something.

The scene today at the former SF-89 Nike Ajax missile launch complex:

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A closer look:

Sic transit gloria mundi…