It was the 1990’s. Nike had shoes. I bought a pair at the Honolulu Costco, the one Imelda Marcos sends her people to, even these days, AFAIK. Anyway, now the same exact shoe is being sold as new as a part of Nike’s retro line:
Man, I’m old.
Uh, $900 for this? So, you’re not a fan of this particular team, or that one, no no – you’re a fan of SB50 itself? WTF to that. Who on Gaia’s Green Earth would wear this thing, and in what context?
Let’s see here, are you a rich, born-rich philanthropist kid (named Lurie) who thinks you deserve a medal for foisting SB50 upon us and sending the bill? Then here’s your jacket. Or are you a Mr. Magoo of a Mayor (named Edwin) who wonders WHYDON’TPEOPLELIKEMEITMUSTBEBASEDUPONRACISM after makaing a poorly-thought-out handshake deal? Again, here’s your jacket. (But under no circumstances should you wear this thing in public – just hang it in your closet.)
Oh, what else. Oh, you see the gold star in a field of fifty? That’s SB50, the only one that matters, apparently. (But IRL, SB LI will be a bigger deal than SB50, sorry. Just you wait!)
Oh, and what’s the forecast for the “Big Game?” Not a chance of rain and temps in the 70’s? Well, then let’s break out the Type A-2 flight jackets you know, for the “warmth?”
Also, “Dunk High?” WTF?
CRAFTED WARMTH FOR THE BIG GAME
The SB50 Nike Speed Destroyer Men’s Jacket celebrates a major milestone in the game’s history with premium embroidery, historical details and gleaming gold accents. A warm wool blend, leather sleeves and lightweight insulation help keep the cold at bay in the stands and on the street.
Wool blend and lightweight fill provide insulation
Leather sleeves for a premium look and durability
Full zip with snap storm flap helps block out the elements
Rib cuffs and hem lock in warmth
Front welt pockets, chest zip pocket and interior zip pocket
Interior storm-flap embroidery commemorates the date of the game
Fabric: Body: 55% wool/45% polyester. Sleeves: 100% cow leather. Lining: 100% nylon. Fill: 100% polyester.
Do not wash or dry clean
Back in 2006, Nike designers began a mission to re-craft iconic sports apparel in the most technical materials they could find. The ubiquitous American varsity jacket was an obvious choice for the experiment that would become Nike Sportswear. Raiding the All Conditions Gear (ACG) innovation cache, they found fabrics, laminates, and bonding methods that could brave nasty weather but still look fresh. The first Nike letterman jacket was for an imaginary team called the Dunk High Destroyers, and limited numbers were produced. The next version got even more technical, but the Destroyer name stuck.
No no, what you really need is a nice T for this Super Bowl. Just $150! What’s a 2000% markup, you know, among friends?
Nike should gather up all its tacky, overpriced, unsold SB50 merch and then have a big bonfire on Monday.
END OF LINE
Read the news and turn the pages:
“After more than 10 years of hosting one of the most anticipated race registration lotteries, lighting up the streets of San Francisco and handing out those coveted Tiffany necklaces to finishers, the Nike Women’s Half Marathon will not be returning to Union Square in 2016.”
Here’s your NIMBY problem – the Presidio and RPD don’t/didn’t mind this route, but millionaire residents of the Western Addition and the Great Sand Wastes certainly do/did.
And speaking of RPD, SFGov, DPW, the SFMTA, and all the rest of the “City Family*” Alphabet soup, they’re always happy to oblige but it’s going to cost you (NIKE) big big bucks to operate here, more here than anywhere else in ‘Merica (except possibly NYC – it can go either way, depending).
And then there’s the “bandit” issue, which we’re not supposed to talk about, but bandits is everywhere, right? So I don’t know – we probably have more than our fair share of banditas. granted Still, I don’t think that could kill a tradition.
I don’t know. There’s a story here though – Enquiring Minds Want To Know.
What if some kind of SFGov fee got increased by like 1000% all of a sudden? What if SFGov has done the wrong thing, once again?
Static friction is what an event needs to overcome to get started here (like, OMG, it’s going to cost us how much?!), but Nike managed to overcome that reaction, a decade ago. OTOH, your kinetic, that’s what wears you down, year after year, until you just say, “Screw you guys, I’m going home.”
(We’ll Always Have NikeTown, in Union Square, right?)
Oh here we go, here’s a 21 Hayes operator at 10th and Market. (Hey, you know the slow and inefficient #21, right? It comes to us, at great expense, via our slow and inefficient SFMTA.)
Anywho, here’s the scene, the driver with a green, the ped with a fierce attitude problem – it’s a staring contest:
But let’s start at the beginning where Just Do It ambles against the red heading inbound on Market:
And reaches the safety island. All the other peds stop for their red, but Just Do It doesn’t break stride, oh no. Now, here come the bus:
What’s the ped’s message here? It’s like go ahead and run me down – make my day. Go ahead and just do it is what Just Do It is saying, more or less.
While driving, biking or walking about town, I blithely assume that all pedestrians will manifest mental illness. Is that so wrong? I think not, obliviously.
OTOH, our SFMTA considers all peds perfect, perfect people – perfect people who make the occasional “mistake” by purposefully walking into traffic.
And DYK that the cause of most ped deaths last year in SF County was the peds themselves? Our SFMTA seems to ignore this reality. (Do you want to get into this, start talking about vehicle code violations and whose fault is what? I can do it. I have done it, AAMOF.) But Reality doesn’t win you any votes at the ballot box, and it doesn’t make Uncle Sucker want to send us some more sweet sweet pork from DC, so that’s why our SFMTA isn’t interested in Reality.
What will be the consequences for the people today spouting VisionZero 2024 when 2024 comes and the promises of VisionZero 2024 don’t? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh well.
If SFGov wants to legislate away all transportation deaths in town by 2024 and into the future, forever, it would need to be able to magically cure all mental illness, and even then it would fail. Really, SFGov would need to eliminate transportation altogether.
IMO, Nike should make sure that these types of signs hit the streets like six days before the annual Nike Womens 13.1-Mile Marketing Effort
(Interesting font there, SFMTA!)
The way things stand now, notice is insufficient.
(The person who will tow your ride Sunday morning will live south of SF, and have bible verses cited on the side of his tow truck, if Past Is Prologue.)
[UPDATE: If you people on this shot actually got just straight-time minimum wage and you went over eight hours in one day, you should have been paid more, just saying…]
Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.
But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.
Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 to me), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (a Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the models to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post-production, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.
Who runs like this, everyone from head to toe in Nike Gear? Not anyone IRL
Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:
Who exercises in tandem like this? Not anyone IRL
More of the same
N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?
And what’s this?
Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!
Very SF, but I hope they didn’t have to shut down this block for Nike. (Assuming they did this right before the weekly street sweepers came by.)
Very SF, but not a good place for jogging
And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision
IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.
Why not use real women 100% from San Francisco next time, Nike?
*One assumes. Just guessing here. Prove me wrong!
I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.
If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.
If I were Nike…
All the deets on street closures:
Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.
Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.
Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:
Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.
Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.
Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Uh, it’s just the 2013 Nike Half-Marathon, it’s not Armageddon, or even Deep Impact. Where’s the fire, minivan lady? I mean, nobody really cares about the Nike (excepting for the concomitant silver bling from Tiffany’s that Finishers so covet), but people will care if you run over a ped, right?
Also, Nevada plates?
Click to expand
Now, Oregon plates, you know, from California’s Other Deadbeat Neighbor, from Nike’s Home State, well, I’d almost go for that.
In conclusion, I cry foul.