Posts Tagged ‘nike’

SFMTA MUNI Stares Down Mental Illness in Front of Twitter HQ – One Reason, Just One, of Why VisionZero 2024 is Impossible

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

Oh here we go, here’s a 21 Hayes operator at 10th and Market. (Hey, you know the slow and inefficient #21, right? It comes to us, at great expense, via our slow and inefficient SFMTA.)

Anywho, here’s the scene, the driver with a green, the ped with a fierce attitude problem – it’s a staring contest:

7J7C0291 copy

But let’s start at the beginning where Just Do It ambles against the red heading inbound on Market:

7J7C0288 copy

And reaches the safety island. All the other peds stop for their red, but Just Do It doesn’t break stride, oh no. Now, here come the bus:

7J7C0289 copy

What’s the ped’s message here? It’s like go ahead and run me down – make my day. Go ahead and just do it is what Just Do It is saying, more or less.

7J7C0290 copy

While driving, biking or walking about town, I blithely assume that all pedestrians will manifest mental illness. Is that so wrong? I think not, obliviously.

OTOH, our SFMTA considers all peds perfect, perfect people – perfect people who make the occasional “mistake” by purposefully walking into traffic.

And DYK that the cause of most ped deaths last year in SF County was the peds themselves? Our SFMTA seems to ignore this reality. (Do you want to get into this, start talking about vehicle code violations and whose fault is what? I can do it. I have done it, AAMOF.) But Reality doesn’t win you any votes at the ballot box, and it doesn’t make Uncle Sucker want to send us some more sweet sweet pork from DC, so that’s why our SFMTA isn’t interested in Reality.

What will be the consequences for the people today spouting VisionZero 2024 when 2024 comes and the promises of VisionZero 2024 don’t? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Oh well.

If SFGov wants to legislate away all transportation deaths in town by 2024 and into the future, forever, it would need to be able to magically cure all mental illness, and even then it would fail. Really, SFGov would need to eliminate transportation altogether.


Look Who Shows Up for the Nike Womens Half Marathon: “PREGNANT? NEED HELP? CALL 1-800-910-0191” – “Pray the Rosary”

Monday, October 19th, 2015

Probably an out-of-towner…

7J7C8645 copy

The Towman Cometh: The Great Towing of the Western Addition Starts This Saturday Night – Thanks, NIKE!

Thursday, October 15th, 2015

IMO, Nike should make sure that these types of signs hit the streets like six days before the annual Nike Womens 13.1-Mile Marketing Effort

7J7C8276 copy

(Interesting font there, SFMTA!)

The way things stand now, notice is insufficient.


(The person who will tow your ride Sunday morning will live south of SF, and have bible verses cited on the side of his tow truck, if Past Is Prologue.)

My Small Beef with Nike’s Very Expensive, Very Stylized San Francisco Photo Shoot from Summer 2014

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Now when I say stylized I mean non-naturalistic, ala Soviet Realism or some old propaganda poster series.

But instead of selling The Revolution, Comrade, we’re selling shoes (and the Nike Lifestyle) to women.

Man, I can just see the crew coming up from Los Angeles* County, scouting out the locations, hiring the fitness models (not just models, fitness models, who don’t look very 415 at all), checking the weather forecast and then heading out all over the City, and then it’s clickety clickety at 11 frames per second on a full-frame SLR camera* (Canon or Nikon, one or the other) after telling the fitness bunnies to hop ever higher, and to pose this way and that way until it’s time for post, when some other crew picks out the “perfect shot” out of thousands and thousands and then we end up with this series of “aspirational” shots.

Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



I can see Photoshop being pushed to its limits here, not that it’s bad or anything. The model on the right almost looks like a cartoon, almost like a female Jumpman



Does Nike really “run” SF? Mmmm… I’m thinking these shots are from some other photo shoot. Very stylized, nevertheless:



Who runs like this? Not anyone IRL



More of the same




N’sync! Did somebody have a clapper metronome to keep all the models in sync?



What’s this?



Don’t real people look straight ahead or down when they’re jogging? Yep, but not in the Nike Motherland, Comrade. We’re Looking Forward, Towards The Future!



Very SF, but not a real runner



Very SF, but not a real runner



Not SF



And here we go again, in triangle formation, to fulfill some dude‘s vision



IDK, perhaps this aspirational fantasyland looks great Down South en LA or Up North in Oregon, but it looks a bit funny, stylized, over the top to somebody from the 415.

Why not use real women from San Francisco next time, Nike?

*One assumes. Prove me wrong!

Nike is Going to Tow Your Car This Saturday Night If You’ve Parked on Certain Blocks of Gough, GG, Webster, Fulton, Scott, Fell…

Friday, October 17th, 2014

I’ve already made this post, but I’ve just come across the route map for 2014’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon, and if this tiny blog can prevent just one unnecessary tow-job this weekend, well that’s blogesse oblige, mon frere.

Capturehg copy

If I were Nike, of Beaverton, Oregon, I’d refund the $500-$1000 tow fees that a bunch of San Franciscans are going to be getting come Sunday morning, on a case-by-case basis.

If I were Nike…

All the deets on street closures:


The Towman Cometh: That AutoReturn Co. Will Make a Ton of Money Tomorrow Night on Fell – Nike Women’s Half-Marathon

Friday, October 17th, 2014

Well, this is new, the routing of this year’s Nike Women’s Half Marathon San Francisco.

Nike, Inc is going to blow through Fell Street like an autumnal version of the Bay to Breakers historic street party and fun run.

Take a look – here are the new signs DPW just put out, like a string of pearls through the Panhandle:

7J7C7999 copy

Note the timing of the mass towings has recently been altered. Can you see the 5 AM hiding under the white sticker what says 11 PM? I’m sure there’s a story behind that.

Anywho, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise.

What’s that, “outreach?” Oh yeah, Nike sent out a ton of letters to residents, customized for each mile of the route. I myself got one, but then forgot about it until I saw all these signs.

Nevertheless, even with the letters, this pop-up event is unexpected so it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. 

You’ll see.

Nike Women’s Marathon Media Van #2 Going Waaaaaay Too Fast for the Narrow Streets and Lanes of the Western Addition

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Uh, it’s just the 2013 Nike Half-Marathon, it’s not Armageddon, or even Deep Impact. Where’s the fire, minivan lady? I mean, nobody really cares about the Nike (excepting for the concomitant silver bling from Tiffany’s that Finishers so covet), but people will care if you run over a ped, right?

Also, Nevada plates?

Click to expand

Now, Oregon plates, you know, from California’s Other Deadbeat Neighbor, from Nike’s Home State, well, I’d almost go for that.

In conclusion, I cry foul.

1990-Era Nike Air Max Shoes are Back, Baby! – Sighted in the Wilds of the Twitterloin – Orange and Black are IN Again

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

I remember when these kicks were being sold the first time around…

Click to expand

Sucker Watch: Most Participants Won’t Pay to Enter the 2013 Bay to Breakers Fun Run So Why Should You?

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013

Oh, you are a sucker. Well, then be my guest – pay $48 for a number. And actually, and you’ll enjoy this, sucker, it’s already too late to get a good deal on registration for 2013. Prices be higher now.

Most people who aren’t professional runners  don’t pay and here’s a good reason not to pay:

Your money goes directly to “Christian Billionaire” Philip Anschutz.

And then he takes your $$$$$ and uses it to, over the years, oppose the concept of evolution and fund anti-gay efforts.

(It’s funny that he even took an interest in this historic fun run and street party but he likes running so there y0u go.)

The reason that organizers won’t say how many “bandits” show up for the party is because they don’t want you to think that most people don’t pay.

But, IRL, most people don’t pay.

If you don’t believe me then take a NSFW look right here.

How many bibs do you see? Every year they say they will eject all these people and every year they don’t actually do it.

Now the San Francisco Nike Womens Marathon is different. You see, they give out coveted awards and people just can’t help themselves. And then stuff like this happens; “NO BIB NO BIB NO BIB!

But B2B aint like that.

One difference this year will be a limit on the size of the bags you might carry.

It’s like the size of Fook Mi’s backpack, best I can imagine.

Click to expand

All right, have a great 2013 B2B.

And if you want to pay money to somebody, just take whatever your reg fee is and give it to Pride or whatever.

End Of Line.

“NO BIB, NO BIB, NO BIB!” – A “Bandit’s” Tale of Woe: “I Got Thrown Out of the Nike Women’s Marathon”

Monday, November 7th, 2011

Poor Cindy Carcamo. All she wanted to do was to run our Nike Womens Marathon last year. Check it:

Cindy Carcamo paid $115 to enter the half-marathon portion of last year’s Nike Women’s Marathon. After months of training hard, she flew to San Francisco to run the race, only to be kicked out 40 yards short of the finish line. Her mistake? Losing her bib the morning of the race. An Orange County Register reporter, Ms. Carcamo wrote an article called, ‘My half marathon comes to a bitter end.'”

How wude! Now let’s catch the action on the Great Highway near Ocean Beach:

“A brunette in gray popped up in front of me, crashing through that daydream.

“Where’s your bib number?” she asked.

“No bib! No bib! No bib!” she yelled out to others.

In a scene worthy of a “Seinfeld” episode, I was intercepted.

I repeated my argument about the chip and the number.

Still, they wouldn’t budge and they put their hands on my shoulders.

“I’ve trained months for this race. Please let me finish,” I pleaded.

No response. Instead, they physically pushed me off the course and past the railings, casting me out like a criminal.

No official time. No finisher’s medal. No warning.”

Cindy thought her back-up mini-bib would be good enough, but no dice. Here she was during happier times, stretching in Union Square pre-race:

Click to expand

Apparently, Nike doesn’t want to publicize how they fight biblesss “bandits” because that gives people the idea that it’s not really necessary to pay.

Oh well.

Thank goodness there’s no harsh penalty like that for the Bay to Breakers Civic Party and Fun Run, right? I mean, if a one-percenter like the Mayor doesn’t need a bib, then a nobody like you certainly shouldn’t need one either, right?

Plus your registration money would just go to a hateful billionaire in Colorado anyway.

All right, train hard.