Posts Tagged ‘nordstrom’

Incident at Flagship Nordstrom – Using a Nightstick for Leverage – Everyday Life for the SFPD in the Twitterloin

Wednesday, August 13th, 2014

(You know, I hope that Twitter will pay its taxes someday. Kind of a Better Late Than Never kind of thing, just cut a check for about a hundred million and make it out to the SF General Fund.)

I don’t know what was going on here, but it looked intense

Abercrombie & Fitch & Phallic SFPD Baton: The Face of Shoplifting at the Nordstrom Mall Near the Twitterloin

Monday, April 29th, 2013

Abercrombie, he just wanted the stuff back, but Fitch insisted on pressing charges….

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Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is … well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push – and it’s over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was bored before I even began

Bottle Service, Frisco Style – Or Maybe This is a Commercial Shoot for Mumm Napa Cuvee M – At 5th and Market

Friday, April 5th, 2013

Saturday morning on Market Street betwixt the Powell Street Cable Car turnaround and the San Francisco Centre Nordstrom mall:

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The Lighted Christmas Snowflakes of the Corrupt Twitterloin: Bringing Holiday Cheer to Stolen iPhone Sellers

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

I’ll tell you, the lighted Christmas snowflakes of Market Street used to stop just past Fifth Street, because, you know, who cares about Mid Market?

Well, these days, the lighted Christmas snowflakes of Market Street make it all the way to 7th Street, AFAICS.

See?

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Hurray!

How Long, on Average, Does The City of San Francisco Leave Vandalized Bikes in Front of Our Flagship Nordstrom Store?

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

Now, when I say vandalized, I mean partially stolen. (You see criminals these days don’t actually have the ability to easily steal an entire bicycle with a quickness, so they just take the parts that they want.)

Wheels, headsets, saddles, lights, brakes, cassettes, pedals, handlebars, shifters – they’re all fair game.

So the owners of the bikes come back to the remaining carcass and then say, “Screw it, I’m buying a car,” or whathaveyou.

And then the unusable bikes remain for days, weeks, and months.

See?

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If our dysfunctional City can’t see its way clear to criminalize bike theft, couldn’t it at least haul away the abandoned bike carcasses promptly?

I mean, we’re supposed to be a “world-class City” or something, right?

So how many tens of thousands of tourists have seen this one bike while walking into City Centre mall?

Is that a good thing?

Just asking, Bro.

A Bible Lesson Betwixt Nordstrom and Bloomingdales: “FALLEN, FALLEN IS BABYLON THE GREAT!”

Thursday, January 12th, 2012

This guy is still out there.

He is the Bringer of Earworms.

No pay but the perks just might be out of this world…

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Hey, let’s take measure of the “world-class” image of our “world-class” Mayor’s “world-class” City:

“OH: In no other place in America would you see so many crack pipes between Nordstoms and Bloomingdales.” A DC-er’s take on #sanfrancisco :)”

Nordstrom No-No: Foolish San Francisco Cyclist Walks Away From His Fixie Without Locking His Saddle and Headset

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

So this is what happens, somebody comes along and steals the saddle, fork and headset.

See?

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Oh, the hubris of leaving your bike only partially secured in front of the flagship Nordstrom in Mayor Ed Lee’s San Francisco…

The Night the Lights Went Out on Market – Christmas Cheer Goes Dark in the Mid-Market Twitterloin

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

Here’s how things looked last night on Market Street, with all the streetlights and giant snowflakes turned off for some reason.

Oh, baby, that’s dark:

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Could it have something to do with the jury-rigged, frat-house-style wiring our City Family uses?

I know not.

When, oh when, will our Path of Gold glitter once again?

Out With the Old and In With the New: A Mess of New Bike Racks Installed in Front of Out Flagship Nordstrom Mall

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

See?

Angle Grinder Man had just taken out the old, poorly-designed snake-like rack. [Cue Finest Worksong.] The bunch of new light-silvery racks you can see should be in place by now.

I dare you to park your bike here betwixt Union Square and San Francisco Centre overnight. Without proper theft hardening, and very possibly even with, the little monsters will have taken the bulk of it by sun-up. Truth.

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If you think this sitch of not having enough bike racks around town is all Crazy Rob Anderson’s fault, well, we’ll have to disagree.

The time to rise has been engaged
You’re better best to rearrange
I’m talking here to me alone
I listen to the finest worksong
Your finest hour
Your finest hour

Forgetful Cyclist Makes a Rookie Mistake – Leaves Wheel in Front of the Market Street Nordstroms

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

When I was a beginner, I’d do the same thing – I’d go all the way home before remembering my front wheel:

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How embarrassing!