Up first, spotted skulking about the Western Addition, which certainly would make sense, comes the whip of the Pariah Nation, North Korea’s BFF. Check out the cutesy numbers and letters on the quasi-Fed-issued consul license plate.
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(And, ironically, the car is the flagship model of the world-famous Tahara Plant, the finest car factory in the world since the 1980′s. Thomas L. Firedman still has a total boner for it.- he took the tour and got the T-shirt. My ride was made there well, AAMOF. Actually, I passed through there just last month, you know, on bidness. That’s the country that got all invadey starting about a century ago ’til about seven decades ago. Hey, who’s invading Filipino islands these days? I’ll give you just one guess! Ooh, my ride had a cheesy SERRAMONTE license plate holder as well. But I didn’t even buy my car there, so WTF was that for, who told you to put that thing on? Not just plastic bolts, metal. I couldn’t get them off myself so they had to do it for me. But while I was down there one time, I told the extreeeeeemely cute front line sales rep that she ought to sue for harassment if what I saw and heard was routine. Guess what – she got together with her friends and took action by hiring some law firm/lawyer and ended up getting a ton of money from the dealership group. I’ll tell you about it sometime. Oh and that’s the same dealership where bay area favorite son Tom Hanks got a nice SUV, also from Tahara, also the best in the world, about a half-decade back. I’ll tell you about that sometime too. But I digress…)
Up next comes Taiwan. Poor Taiwan! See that, “FOREIGN ORGANIZATION,” like it’s not even a country.
5006.5. (a) The department may issue, for a fee determined by the department to be sufficient to reimburse the department for actual costs incurred pursuant to this section, distinctive license plates for motor vehicles owned or leased by an officer or a designated employee of a foreign organization recognized by the United States pursuant to the Taiwan Relations Act (22 U.S.C. Sec. 3301 et seq.) when the department is otherwise satisfied that the issuance of the license plates is in order.
(b) The distinctive license plates shall be designed by the department and shall contain the words “Foreign Organization.”
(c) The department shall establish procedures for both of the following:
(1) To verify the eligibility of an applicant for plates issued pursuant to this section.
(2) To authorize a recognized foreign organization to apply on behalf of its officers for plates issued pursuant to this section.
Added Ch. 397, Stats. 1994. Effective January 1, 1995.”
Abercrombie, he just wanted the stuff back, but Fitch insisted on pressing charges….
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Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is … well, never mind, never mind
Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four
Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over
A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push – and it’s over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was bored before I even began
I have no idea how anyone could think that it was a good idea to end America’s primary east-west interstate freeway at Market and Octavia, but that’s what we have with the two-lane Central Freeway off-ramp these days.
Anyway right at the end of the off-ramp, the shoulder turns into a right-turn-only lane. And that’s right where this California Highway Patrol officer was standing the other day, with her prowler blocking your path.
Yes, everything that ever happens in your life has to do with your ethnic heritage, apparently.
That’s the conclusion you might come to after reading this tale from area attorney Rodel Rodis. It started up ten years ago and ended up involving a former Assistant City Attorney by the name of Scott Wiener.
All right, Rodel, the SFPD took you into a station after thinking you were trying to pass a fake $100 bill, but actually it was real, so look sad, come on, sadder, sadder, cleek:
And I’ll tell you, if you ever find me with a $100 bill, I’ll know exactly where I got it from.
And you’d think somebody could have entered the phrase “1985 $100 bill” into the Google earlier in this process, back in the day, but oh well. (And IRL, a teller supervisor at a bank in the pre-Internet era could examine a bill and then contact the feds in a New York minute, you know, to check the serial number.)
And if Walgreens ever sends me a giant bouquet to turn my frown upside-down, I’d tell them they should have simply handed over the bouquet money directly to me.
But, In mitigation, you went to the former New College of Law and then, unlike most of its graduates*, you passed the CA bar exam. So good on you. Srsly.
And you escaped the college board before City College came crashing down, so that was a good move as well.
All right, let’s look forward to this incident’s 20th anniversary in 2023, when we’ll surely hear this tale again…
*Such as your fellow area minor celebrity, the ivory-white “Ivory Madison.”
Actually, The Wiggle is The Rookie’s Choice, full of part-timers like CW Nevius (oh he just quit cycling in The City, hardly surprising) and fast fixie riders who don’t know any better.
And The Movement prefers the Wiggle, for some unknown reason. But if you just want to get from A to B, then its Market McAllister Divis and eventually Fell for you.
Like this – that’s UC Hastings, your Hastings Cutoff lodestar, there in the background on the left:
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So you climb a bit more using McAl, like 20 more vertical feet if you add up all the ups and downs, but big whoop.
This is the new normal, with the SFPD routinely handing out tickets to bicycling hipsters on Market at or near the Powell Street turnaround crosswalk.
Like this, yesterday, when MACAFRAMA and fedora LEGO bag here got cold busted for, one presumes, running a red light and/or listening to tunes using both the left and right earbuds: