Posts Tagged ‘officer’

SFPD Strolling on Sleepy 6th Avenue Loaded for Bear: Strapped with a Handgun, a Shotgun, and an AR-15 Semi-Automatic Rifle

Monday, November 11th, 2013

Patrolling the streets of the quiet Richmond District must be more dangerous than it appears. That’s basically an M-16 rifle*  he’s got on his back there.

Anyway, this is just another shift change at Richmond Station:

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*The SFPD turned down some surplus M-16′s when offered by our armed forces. I guess converting them to AR-15′s would have been a hassle or SFGov was disorganized or something…

The Most Joyous SFPD Park Station Routine Stop Imaginable

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

I’ve never tried this strategy when dealing with the fuzz.

(And I seriously doubt it could work  for me.)

But who knows what happened in the end:

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And speaking of Golden Gate Park Park Station,you know what’s not so funny was the 1970 San Francisco Police Department Park Station bombing possibly involving The Weather Underground, possibly involving  Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn,

That’s not so funny at all.

  1.  Jump up to:a b c d Zamora, Jim Herron, “Plaque honors slain police officer: Eight others injured in bomb attack that killed sergeant in 1970″The San Francisco Chronicle, February 17, 2007
  2. Jump up^ “Police sergeant dies of wounds”UPI. 1970-02-19. Retrieved 2009-03-13.
  3. Jump up^ http://www.sfpoa.org/journal/journals/20070201.pdf
  4. Jump up^ KRON 4, “30-Y.O. Unsolved SF Murders Reopen”, November 10, 2003
  5. Jump up^ “1970 Cold Case to Be Explored at San Francisco News Conference on April 23″Reuters. April 23, 2009.
  6. Jump up^ “Police union targets ’60s radical”The Examiner. 2009-03-12. Retrieved 2009-03-14.
  7. Jump up^ “CHARGES IN KILLING OF S.F. OFFICER”San Francisco Chronicle. 2007-01-24. Retrieved 2009-03-13.
  8. Jump up^ Demian Bulwa, (2009-03-12). “S.F. police union accuses Ayers in 1970 bombing”. San Francisco Chronicle.

Meet R. Scott, the Super-Chill SFPD Motorcycle Cop Who Gives Stop Sign Tickets to Cyclists on the Wiggle Every Day

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Or at least it seems like every day.

Here he is on Waller in the Lower Haight last week. See? He’ll park his motorcycle and then stand in the street pointing to offending cyclists and counting out, “!, 2, 3, 4, 5…”

And then everybody gets to wait while he processes all the tickets.

Thusly. Now actually, a couple of these folks were just waiting for their friends, prolly because they didn’t fail to yield prolly because you had Officer R. Scott yelling away:

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Here we go:

Yeah, so I know this is the same thing as last year but I’m surprised to see the sustained nature of this recent enforcement action.

Observations:

1. Officer Scott has a “weakness.” Guess what, it’s sports cars! Owns a Porsche 996 he does. Then he explains that it’s a “modern 911,” which it sort of is.

2. Does he have advice for cyclists? Yes. It’s “SLOW DOWN” and it’s “you should be wearing a helmet” and “you should have your lights on.”

3. Does he also have a lecture? Yes. It’s “that call you just heard on my radio is about an assault with a hammer – I’d rather be answering that call.” See? Its like a guilt trip for all the recalcitrant cyclists of SF.

4. When the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition tells people to take the Wiggle route, is it basically telling them to not stop at stop signs? Yep, pretty much.

5. Do most of the people who live near the intersection of Steiner and Waller approve of this enforcement action? Yep.

6. Do many people coming up and down the Wiggle go too fast for conditions? Yes.

7. Do most of the offending cyclists bother to slow down just a little, you know, to make what’s called an Idaho stop (or a California stop or an Oklahoma stop)? No, they just blow right through. How did this culture develop? IDK, fixies?

8. Is there a way to avoid all this rigmarole by using the Unwiggle, the same basic route but using Fillmore and Pierce instead of cop-heavy Steiner and Scott? Yep.

 

Quintin Mecke, Second Place Finisher in Mayoral Race and Now Director at Barbary Coast Consulting, Yells at Traffic, Good-Naturedly

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

And then he got out of the saddle to pump up the steepest block of McAllister what’s on the Snickerdoodle route.*

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*It’s the UnWiggle, it’s the better choice to get west of Divisadero from Market

Know Your Betters: Area Man Becomes Supraman Simply by Piloting a Tesla Model S Electric Car

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

You just don’t know how special you are ’til you own and operate a Tesla Model S.

Why, you’re so special that, in some states, you didn’t even have to pay sales tax to get your new ride. And here in California, your wundercar can go all of its 200-something mile range on the freeway in the carpool / HOV lane even though you’re sitting in your car all by your lonesome!

Now check out Dude here on Masonic. He’s got his official CA HOV stickers on all four corners. Plus, he’s also got a license to jibber jabber on his handheld cell phone while driving. I mean, he must – just look at him: 

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I didn’t check to see if he has special CHP 11-99 Foundation license plate holders (like this fellow Tesla God), but that would mean that Dude has a license to speed as well.

Oh but Dude, don’t speed too much else the maximum range on your $100,000 car will go down to 100-something miles and then you’ll have to get towed, like this:

(Funny story – in the mind of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, the driver of this car drove it in circles specifically to make it run so low on juice that it wouldn’t go no mo. That wasn’t true but oh well. And this Model S wouldn’t even allow its needlessly-complicated doors to open for the tow-truck monkey, that child of a Lesser God, so it could be, you know, put into neutral so, you know, it could get towed. Oh, and here’s another funny one. How many kids should you have with 30-something Elon Musk before he trades you in for a newer, sexier model-type model? Five[!] Five kids, srsly. And then the former Mrs. Elon Musk is like, “At least she’s not a blonde.”)

Anywho, the question of the day is why you’d even want such a long, low, and wide big-on-the-outside-yet-small-on-the-inside vehicle such as a Model S? It’s like an electrified Porsche Panamera four-door, right? And compared to my full-sized. eight-passenger motherfucking Land Cruiser, the Model S is longer[!] and wider[!] (How can that be?) And I’ll tell you, my ride, which isn’t exactly known for high MPG, no not at all, has a real-life range of 400-something miles on the freeway.

Oh, what’s that, your Model S is shiny and it has a lot of chrome and it makes you feel special? Well, then carry on with your super important phone call, by all means.

You have become a Supraman.

Congrats.

As far back as Yossarian could recall, he explained to Clevinger with a patient smile, somebody was always hatching a plot to kill him. There were people who cared for him and people who didn’t, and those who hated him were out to get him. They hated him because he was Assyrian. But they couldn’t touch him, he told Clevinger, because he had a sound mind in a pure body and was as strong as an ox. They couldn’t touch him because he was Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon. He was Bill Shakespeare. He was Cain, Ulysses, the Flying Dutchman; he was Lot in Sodom, Deirdre of the Sorrows, Sweeney in the nightingales among trees. He was miracle ingredient Z-247. He was…
Crazy!” Clevinger interrupted, shrieking. “That’s what you are! Crazy!”
“…immense. I’m a real slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I’m a bona fide Supraman.”
“Superman?” Clevinger cried. “Superman?”
Supraman,” Yossarian corrected.”

Yossarian is transcendent man. He is rising above the living dead all around him to find a way to live. He is basically alone in his quest. A real hero.”

I am, I am Supraman, and I can do anything.”

Here’s Why Mercedes Drivers Use the Bus Lane on Montgomery in the Financh – High Reward, Low Risk

Thursday, June 6th, 2013

Let’s take a look up Bush Street from Sansome to see what it’s like during the evening drive.

It can start pretty early – look at the shadows:

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It’s not gridlock, but it’s very slow. Drivers make it one or two car lengths per light cycle.

Starting on Bush to get to 1st Street to get to the coveted Bay Bridge on-ramp can take more than a half-hour.

Now what some people in this situation do is say this is ridiculous and then find another way to the bridge. They substitute

Others just stew in their rides – some of these people enjoy honking, you know, as an outlet.

And there’s yet another option.

You can just use the little-used left turn lane after Montgomery and then, and this is key, go straight through the intersection at Sansome to use the BUS TAXI ONLY lane to pass all those su

Thusly:

Now it seems that drivers would get ticketed for this maneuver, but I’ve never seen it happen.

(Cops hate traffic more than you do, so they never hang out here. Come to think of it, I don’t see too many buses or taxis using this special lane either. And I don’t think any forward-facing cameras on any SFMTA vehicle can get you neither)

Of course, then you gotta make it another four arduous blocks to the bridge, oh well.

But otherwise, this is the perfect crime.

Shhhhhh…

The Simple Pleasures of SFPD Detention in Randy Shaw’s Corrupt Twitterloin

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

Especially when you know you’ll be released in about 15 seconds.

Two people, anyway, certainly thought something was funny.

Foot of Turk Street near Market:

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Private Security Patrols in San Francisco? This Car Looks Official, But It’s Not

Thursday, May 16th, 2013

Usually, the private security patrols I see are in economy cars with the name of the company prominently displayed.

This car is meant to trick people into thinking a peace officer is inside and/or impress clients.

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Anyway, this is unusual in the 415…

Comparaison du Corps Diplomatique: License Plates – China vs. Taiwan – Can You Spot the Pariah Nation?

Friday, May 3rd, 2013

Up first, spotted skulking about the Western Addition, which certainly would make sense, comes the whip of the Pariah Nation, North Korea’s BFF. Check out the cutesy numbers and letters on the quasi-Fed-issued consul license plate.

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(And, ironically, the car is the flagship model of the world-famous Tahara Plant, the finest car factory in the world since the 1980′s. Thomas L. Firedman still has a total boner for it.- he took the tour and got the T-shirt. My ride was made there well, AAMOF. Actually, I passed through there just last month, you know, on bidness. That’s the country that got all invadey starting about a century ago ’til about seven decades ago. Hey, who’s invading Filipino islands these days? I’ll give you just one guess! Ooh, my ride had a cheesy SERRAMONTE license plate holder as well. But I didn’t even buy my car there, so WTF was that for, who told you to put that thing on? Not just plastic bolts, metal. I couldn’t get them off myself so they had to do it for me. But while I was down there one time, I told the extreeeeeemely cute front line sales rep that she ought to sue for harassment if what I saw and heard was routine. Guess what – she got together with her friends and took action by hiring some law firm/lawyer and ended up getting a ton of money from the dealership group. I’ll tell you about it sometime. Oh and that’s the same dealership where bay area favorite son Tom Hanks got a nice SUV, also from Tahara, also the best in the world, about a half-decade back. I’ll tell you about that sometime too. But I digress…)

Up next comes Taiwan. Poor Taiwan! See that, “FOREIGN ORGANIZATION,” like it’s not even a country.

That’s some fucked up shit right there.

Check it:

Foreign Organization Special License Plates

5006.5. (a) The department may issue, for a fee determined by the department to be sufficient to reimburse the department for actual costs incurred pursuant to this section, distinctive license plates for motor vehicles owned or leased by an officer or a designated employee of a foreign organization recognized by the United States pursuant to the Taiwan Relations Act (22 U.S.C. Sec. 3301 et seq.) when the department is otherwise satisfied that the issuance of the license plates is in order.

(b) The distinctive license plates shall be designed by the department and shall contain the words “Foreign Organization.”

(c) The department shall establish procedures for both of the following:

(1) To verify the eligibility of an applicant for plates issued pursuant to this section.

(2) To authorize a recognized foreign organization to apply on behalf of its officers for plates issued pursuant to this section.

Added Ch. 397, Stats. 1994. Effective January 1, 1995.”

On It Goes.

(more…)

Abercrombie & Fitch & Phallic SFPD Baton: The Face of Shoplifting at the Nordstrom Mall Near the Twitterloin

Monday, April 29th, 2013

Abercrombie, he just wanted the stuff back, but Fitch insisted on pressing charges….

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Learn to love me
Assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
My only weakness is … well, never mind, never mind

Oh, shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

Learn to love me
And assemble the ways
Now, today, tomorrow, and always
My only weakness is a listed crime
But last night the plans of a future war
Was all I saw on Channel Four

Shoplifters of the world
Unite and take over
Shoplifters of the world
Hand it over
Hand it over
Hand it over

A heartless hand on my shoulder
A push – and it’s over
Alabaster crashes down
(Six months is a long time)
Tried living in the real world
Instead of a shell
But before I began …
I was bored before I even began