Posts Tagged ‘pages’

If You Try to “Opt Out” of Useless Telephone Book Delivery, the Horrible YP Yellow Pages People Will Hound You

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

In perpetuity.

Check it:

“A valid telephone number is required in order to process and verify opt-out requests. Incorrect or omitted information may prevent us from honoring your request.”

Why do they say they need your phone number? So they can ask you if you really, really think phonebooks are so useless these days that you don’t want them anymore.

And then, they’ll call you the next year and the next year and the next year. You know, to make sure. Again.

Forever.

So. which is worse? Would you rather get a useless phone book or a useless phone call?

Weeks after delivery, these books are still around:

Via Warzau Wynn – click to expand

YP Yellow Pages Local Search people, nobody in San Francisco wants what you’re selling.

Why don’t you go away?

Attention San Francisco: The Great Phonebook Recycle of 2012 Has Begun – If You See a Big Stack, Recycle Immediately

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Here’s a good dozen what sat in the lobby for twelve long hours.

Guess what? Nobody took even a one.

So these books got hauled off to the big blue bin when I got home last night. Good times.

And best of all,  those The Real Yellow Pages / AT&T / YP books are surprisingly small these days, so you can carry them all in just one trip, you know, before they get all soggy:

Click to expand

Uh, AT&T, what’s the point of this exercise?

Nobody in San Francisco wants your Yellow Pages.

I know you think that we do, but we don’t.

Does Verizon do this? No

Does Sprint do this? No

Does T-Mobile do this? No

So why do you do it?

I know that you can do it, you know, legally, but I don’t know why you do it.

If you want to get credit for giving minimum wage union members money, why not just give them money and be done with it?

Anyway, if I see any stack of your phonebooks anywhere about town anywhere near a big blue recycling bin or an AT&T store, they’re all going to get together tout de suite.

No charge.

See you in Hell, Yellow Pages people.

NB: Don’t try to “opt out,” San Francisco. All that does is give your contact information to AT&T so that they can ask you, every fucking year, if you still want to opt out. My conclusion: AT&T is a cancer.

Oh No, Once Again Telephone Book Season Comes to San Francisco! Dinosaur Industry Just Won’t Stop

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2012

I’m at a loss.

But I’ll tell you, if I see one of these paper monsters with “AT&T” on the cover, I’m going to deliver it back to the nearest AT&T store.*

Here’s what San Francisco telephone books look like before they get rained on: 

Via Warzau Wynn – click to expand

In closing, see you in Hell, telephone book industry!

*Unless you all “opt out” first! HAHAHAHA.

And the Award for America’s Thinnest Big-City Newspaper Goes To … Today’s San Francisco Examiner, June 4, 2012

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Boy, I’ll tell you, today’s San Francisco Examiner is like really thin.

[Call and response] “HOW THIN IS IT?!”

It’s so thin that just one ad composes ten percent of it. I’m srlsy.

I don’t know, are they taking pulp out of the newsprint to save money? Sure feels that way. Today’s issue is super thin, even for an Examiner.

But at least the advertisers are better than before. So there’s no “Platinum Gas Saver” scam on page 3, like before. And the super-jumbo horoscope is gone, so that’s nice.

In their place are ads for the Dolan Law Firm (heh), and “Real Hook Ups Real Fast (Ahora en Espanol, 18+), and “ATTENTION MEN” with an offer of a “Test Dose of Medication, to prove it works* in 10 minutes”

OK fine.

But no matter.

I’ll still pick up a copy of the ‘Xam every day.

Religiously.

*Uh, are there really medical offices way up at the 1700 block of Montgomery, deep in NIMBY territory? I guess there are. And then you take the “test dose” and wait ten minutes to see how your wiener reacts while listening to the Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill? Sign me up!

The Yellow Pages Opt-Out Program Simply Doesn’t Work – San Francisco Man Shows How Opt-In is Better than Opt-Out

Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

San Francisco resident Jon Sieker has a beef with AT&T.

See?

“You accidentally gave me a White and Yellow pages this year after I signed up to not receive either of them”

Here’s the proof:

Click to expand – via Jon Sieker

And here’s the note he just sent to Ma Bell, cause you see, Jon has Internet access:

“Dear AT&T,

2 years ago I was so disappointed by the waste that the Yellow and White pages caused, caring about my community and environment, I searched online for what I could do to minimize the waste. I was very happy to find your web site that allowed me to opt out and not receive a White Pages and Yellow pages to save on the waste. Thank you for providing this option as I have The Internet and don’t need a physical phone directory. The Internet gives me all of the information I need including your yellow pages site. I felt great to find and fill out the form that allowed me to NOT RECEIVE both yellow and white pages. I felt I was doing something to save the environment. Imagine my surprise when I was accidentally given both the yellow pages and white pages today.

Please let me know what I should do with the unwanted publications. It would be best if you came and picked them up from me and passed them on to some unfortunate soul with no internet.

As a side not, it would be great if your delivery agents didn’t litter my street and community with these unwanted relics from the past. I have photos of the litter if you are interested or don’t believe me. I would be happy to pass these photos on to you or any of the other organizations copied on this email.

Thank you for your help. I look forward to the solution you provide.”

O.K. then.

Now, do you think that the National Opt Out Program would work any better?

I don’t.

Simply, nobody in San Francisco wants telephone books anymore.

So, telephone book industry, why not just tell your Santas to pass over the 415 when you send them out delivering across America this holiday season?

Just asking…

Dear Telephone Book Industry: Nobody in San Francisco Wants Your Product – Opt In Beats Opt Out

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Uh, telephone book industry, what you don’t seem to realize is that the vast majority of your “customers” in the 415 don’t want your product.

That’s why when you deliver them, they end up hanging around exactly where you left them for days or weeks…

…or months. See?

The only people who like telephone books in the bay area are the people who make (not very much) money delivering them:

Now, telephone book industry, wouldn’t you prefer it if your customers actually wanted your product? That’s how opt-in works.

I know you all talk about  opt-out, but what I don’t think you all realize is that most of the books you deliver go into the recycling without ever being opened. (This might not be applicable in Omaha, Neb., but it’s certainly true in the 415.)

And I know the bidnesses what advertise in your books are reassured by all the hullabaloo of delivery, but you’d be better off just delivering your product directly to recycling bins and, letting your true customers just dig them out, you know, if they want.

All right, see you Hell, dinosaur telephone book industry!

Telephone Book Industry Group Changes Name: From “Yellow Pages Assn.” to “Local Search Assn.” – Heh

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

Now whatever you do, never “opt out” of useless telephone book delivery. (“It’s a trap!”)

‘Cause that’s just what they want you to do. (Just like ShoppyBag, that scam, which wants you to “opt out” – it wants you to do anything with it except ignore it, which is what everybody should do and then the scam would simply go away. )

No no, just wait for Nature to take its course, just wait for San Francisco’s “opt-in” law to take effect. Easy peasy.

Now check it, Rachel Gordon’s bit today shows us the new name of the phone book industry’s horrible, wasteful, useless, trade group. See? It’s now called the “LOCALSEARCH ASSOCIATION.”

Isn’t that cute? This lobbying group thinks its Google!

(You know, back in the day the buggy whip industry should have changed its product’s name to “horse throttle,” right? The better to compete with the nascent vehicular competition…)

That’s it, keep on making us laugh, Yellow Pages Association.

Is This a Useless Telephone Book Delivery, a Useless Telephone Book Protest, or Useless Telephone Book Performance Art?

Monday, April 11th, 2011

Do you think these guys going past the Academy of Art University on Mission were simply:

1. Delivering useless phone books; or

2. Marching to return the useless phone books from whence they came as so many have done before them; or

3. Performing some of that performance art to make you wonder about What It All Means?

Well, my vote is for option 3:

Click to expand

What those phone book companies ought to do is to deliver them direct to your recycling bin and then you could fish them out if you actually wanted them.

That would save a lot of trouble…

OMG, This Saturday is “Passport Day in the USA 2011″ – Get a Passport at the Post Office Without a Reservation!

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

[UPDATE: Well, you know, that State Department, you know, maybe they’re a bunch of pansies or something,* fretting over Our Impending Government Shutdown, so maybe PDUSA11 has been officially cancelled or whatnot, but my peeps at the local P.O. are saying, “C’mon down, y’all,” no matter, so there you go.]

Not actually sure what makes Passport Day in the USA** 2011 Passport Day, but all’s I know is that this event turns out the peeps annually at post offices and other similar quasi-federal venues all over California. So this thing on April 9th must be better than the typical process that you’d be subjected to the other 364 days of the year…

I think if you’re properly prepared you can take care of bidness all at once and then wait for your shiny new passport / book / card to arrive in the mail.

Anyway, they have lots of locations in the 415 this year. Deets after the jump.

Click to expand

*“Passport Day in the USA” Cancelled – Because of a possible government shutdown, the Department of State must cancel “Passport Day in the USA,” which had been scheduled for Saturday, April 9, 2011.  During this annual event, passport agencies and participating passport acceptance facilities nationwide open their doors for U.S. citizens to receive passport services without an appointment.  We regret that we cannot offer this service as planned.”

**First time I’ve heard this one, fundamentally. Mmmm, so you’re too good for lip-syncing but, OTOH, you’re fine with aggressive AutoTuning – it’s A-OK in the USA with you, huh? OK fine…


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Senator Leland Yee Leads the Fight Against Mandatory Phone Books

Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Phone books – they’re useless, right? What are they good for? Absolutely nothing. I’ll say it again. Hooot! Absolutely nothing.

So let’s hear it for Dr. Leland Yee, Ph.D, Assistant Senate President pro Tempore Extraordinaire, the fightingest Senator in California, as he takes on the Telephone Book Industry on behalf of The People.

A brief wait on the doorstep for a few days until someone puts all these things into the recycling:

photo_121908_002-copy

Your days are numbered, you mandatory telephone books.

Read all about it:

San Mateo County Leaders and Environmental Advocates Call for Consumer Choice on White Pages
Yee and Papan: Mandatory delivery of white pages wastes paper, energy, and scarce local government resources

 
SACRAMENTO – Following the successful efforts of Cleveland, Ohio and Miami, Florida, California could become the largest jurisdiction to give telephone customers a choice in receiving the white pages directory.  Today, Senator Leland Yee (D-San Francisco/San Mateo) and Millbrae Councilwoman Gina Papan announced they will pursue state legislation to prohibit telephone companies from delivering the white pages unless the customer opts-in to receiving it. 
 
“The requirement that phone companies must deliver the white pages comes from an era before the internet and other means of obtaining phone numbers,” said Yee.  “At a time when Californians are looking for ways to reduce our carbon footprint, we should give them that choice, particularly when very few customers still use the white pages.”
 
“Ending the unnecessary distribution of the white pages is a step forward that we can take at the local level to address the global issue of climate change.  I am proud to take the lead on this issue to help save the environment and reduce local recycling costs,” said Millbrae City Councilmember Gina Papan.  “I would like to thank Senator Yee for his responsiveness in taking on this important legislation on our behalf.”  

All the deets, after the jump

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