Posts Tagged ‘panhandle’

A Crazy New SFMTA Plan to Allow Bike Riders to Run Red Lights on Fell and Oak in the “Panhandle-Adjacent” Area

Tuesday, October 4th, 2016

Here it is: The “Fell and Oak Streets Panhandle-Adjacent Bikeway Feasibility Study”

The basic idea is to take out one of the four lanes of Fell and one of the four lanes of Oak along the Golden Gate Park Panhandle from the Baker Street DMV to Stanyan and turn them into dedicated bike lanes.

You don’t need to even look at the report to know that this idea is “feasible” – obviously, our SFMTA can do this if it wants to:


But why does the SFMTA want to do this? This is not stated in the report.

As things stand now, you can ride your bike on the left side of the left lanes of Fell and Oak, or on the right sides of the right lanes of Fell and Oak, or in any part of any lane of Fell and Oak if you’re keeping up with traffic (but this is especially hard to do heading uphill on Fell), or on the “multi-use pathway” (what I and most people call the bike path) what winds through the Panhandle.

So, why not widen the bike path again, SFGov? It used to be 8 foot wide and now it’s 12 foot wide, so why not go for 16 foot wide? (Hey, why doesn’t our SFMTA simply take over Rec and Park? You know it wants to.)

My point is that it would also be “feasible” to somehow force RPD to widen the current bike path (and also the extremely bumpy, injury-inducing Panhandle jogging/walking path along Oak) independent of whatever the SFMTA wants to do to the streets.

Anyway, here’s the news – check out page 12 of 13. No bike rider (or what term should I use this year, “person with bikes?” Or “person with bike?” Or “person with a bike?”) is going to want to sit at a red light at a “minor street” when s/he could just use the bike trail the SFTMA figures, so why not just allow them to ride on Fell and Oak without having to worry about traffic lights at all? And the pedestrians? Well, you’ll see:

“Minor Street Intersections

The minor cross-streets in the project area from east to west are Lyon Street, Central Avenue, Ashbury Street, Clayton Street, Cole Street, and Shrader Street. Each is a consistent width of 38’-9” curb-to-curb with 15-foot wide sidewalks. All of these streets are discontinued [Fuck man. How much colledge do you need to start talking like this, just asking] at the park, each forming a pair of “T” intersections at Oak and Fell streets. The preferred control for the protected bike lane at these “T” intersections is to exclude it from the traffic signal, allowing bicyclists to proceed through the intersection without stopping unless a pedestrian is crossing the bikeway. Due to the relatively low pedestrian volumes at these intersections, it is expected that people using the protected bike lane [aka cyclists? aka bike riders?] would routinely violate the signal if required to stop during every pedestrian phase, creating unpredictability and likely conflict between users on foot and on bicycles. This treatment also recognizes that in order to attract many bicycle commuters, the new protected bike lanes would need to be time-competitive with the existing multi-use path that has the advantage of a single traffic control signal for the length of the Panhandle.

Excluding the protected bike lane from the traffic signal requires installing new pedestrian refuge islands in the shadow of the parking strip. The existing vehicle and pedestrian signal heads currently located within the park would also need to be relocated to new poles on the pedestrian refuge islands.

Implementing these changes would cost between $70,000 and $150,000 per intersection, and require the removal of approximately four parking spaces per intersection. Over the eleven minor-street “T” intersections along the Panhandle (excluding Fell Street/Shrader Street which which has been discussed separately), the total cost would be between $0.9 and $1.5 million dollars and approximately 48 parking spaces would be removed.

This design introduces a variety of benefits and compromises [“compromises!” Or maybe “costs,” as in a cost/benefit analysis?] for pedestrians crossing to and from the park at the minor intersections:

Pedestrians would be required to wait for gaps in bicycle traffic to cross the protected bike lane (which may present new challenges to people with low or no vision). Design treatments for the protected bike lanes (e.g., stencil messages, rumble strips, signs) should also be considered to clearly indicate the necessity of yielding to pedestrians to people on bicycles.”

It’s Official: Our Golden Gate Park Panhandle Bike Path to Shut Down at Certain Times from October to ???

Wednesday, September 21st, 2016

Here’s your Construction Closure Advisory:


If you want to see the concomitant propaganda for Supervisor London Breed and Rec & Park, click here.

In mitigation, this whole deal is kind of a nothingburger – they’ll put up a few signs (but not speed limit signs for bike riders, cause, oh no, we wouldn’t want that, no sir) and I guess paint a kind of crosswalk for peds, to signal cyclists that peds cross over the bike path.

(IOW, RPD won’t do jack about the Panhandle’s Southern Path, which is in atrocious condition, ’cause, ’cause, give us more money, is what RPD says. There was a plan to put in irrigation first and then resurface the Oak Street area path, but the irrigation isn’t happening anytime soon, oh well. So I guess when joggers file claims against us, you know, after they fall down due to all the wavy waves of the pavement, RPD / SFGov just pays them off no big deal? Man, RPD is pretty fucked up, I’ll tell you. Anyway, I guess I’ll see joggers take tumbles on a weekly basis from now to eternity.)

Also in mitigation, they’ll open the bike path back up during commuting hours, which is pretty easy since they aren’t really doing anything significant, like widening the paved area to make the bike path 16 feet wide why not, you know, to reflect the increased usage the past decade or two?

Anyway, enjoy your underfunded “pedestrian safety” project, Frisco.

(Which is not to say I’m against painting something to tell some of our more aggressive bike riders to look out for peds in certain areas, but doing this kind of thing is an easy job, not one what requires a million thanks to glorious London Breed, and hey, why not vote for her soon, is basically what RPD is saying.

I mean, take a look:


A certain type of roadie bike rider, who doesn’t want to break stride/cadence/whatever starts seeing red when he (generally he, overwhelmingly, like I can’t ever recall hearing a woman swearing at or seeing one crash into Panhandle peds) sees something like the above, oh well.)


Big-Ass Tent, Fell and Masonic Intersection, Golden Gate Park

Friday, September 16th, 2016

When you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others.”

Or not, your choice. (This is as wide angle as my Samsung phone can go – had to tilt it a bit.)


And once you’ve gained access to THE MIGHTY TENT, there’s another tent to aspire to, the “VIP TENT” what’s either inside of or attached to THE MIGHTY TENT.

Massive “Private Event” Coming to the GGP Panhandle – Take a Look at This Tent – Party Goes to Sept 17th

Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

How much is Rec and Park making off of this one?


IDK. Hey look, it’s right next to our giant new Oakland Warriors ad, the largest in the GGP.


They’ll start towing cars on Friday…

After you pay your $275 to $10,000 for this shindig, and after you’ve had your name plastered on 12,000 invitations and on “signage,” consider that the people who use the Panhandle Playground right now don’t understand why it’s “failing,” in the words of the Parks Alliance crew, and Rec and Park.

So why not send the $2,000,000(!) what was set aside in 2014(!) to, IDK, our underfunded SFGov employee pension fund, or someplace? You know, instead of shutting down this playground for, what, a year or so, like Alamo Square?

Just asking.

Oh, there’s parasites in the sand? Well, NOT REALLY! (That’s more of a suburban thing, cats ‘n stuff. Aint no cats out in the Panhandle. Lots of rats but no cats.)

Oh, sand is high maintenance? Sorry. Take the 2 mil and use it to pay for upkeep why not? Lots of families come here SPECIFICALLY FOR the sea of sand.

Oh, the arsenic in the wood? Well, NOT REALLY! I’l tell you, if there’s arsenic in your kid, it’s not from the Panhandle Playground. They did a big study ‘n stuff.

Oh what else, you have a new theory of playgrounds? Well guess what, the General Motors people who paid $100k for the existing, perfectly fine playground had a theory of playgrounds as well. Who’s to say that the old theory won’t look better than your 2016 theories, you know, 20 years from now?

Anyway, enjoy your private party on public lands…



Golden Gate Park – $10,000

  • 10 guests for the cocktail reception, dinner and entrance to exclusive VIP area
  • Golden Gate Park level recognition on 12,000 invitations, signage and Parks Alliance publications
  • 4 regular-day passes to Outside Lands Concert 2016 (subject to availability)

McLaren Park – $5,000

  • 6 guests for the cocktail reception, dinner and entrance to exclusive VIP area
  • McLaren Park level recognition on 12,000 invitations, signage and Parks Alliance publications
  • 2 regular-day passes to Outside Lands Concert 2016 (subject to availability)

Lincoln Park – $2,500

  • 4 guests for the cocktail reception, dinner and entrance to exclusive VIP area
  • Lincoln Park level recognition on 12,000 invitations, signage and Parks Alliance publications

Glen Canyon Park – $1,500

  • 2 guests for the cocktail reception and dinner
  • Glen Canyon Park level recognition on 12,000 invitations, signage and Parks Alliance publications

Park Ambassador – $550

  • 2 guests for the cocktail reception and dinner
  • Invite and encourage 10 or more friends to attend the party
  • Recognition on event website

Individual ticket – $275

Oakland Warriors Pay $25K to Plant Their Logo in Golden Gate Park – See It Starting Sept 10th

Tuesday, September 6th, 2016

[UPDATE: Will the new logo be for the Warriors, like this recent effort, or will Centre Court feature something called the “Good Tidings Foundation,” located, oddly, down in the Peninsula. It all has to do with the all-important “donor recognition plan” and the “donor recognition court markings.” Note that there is “no known opposition” to all these square yards of blue paint, mostly ’cause most people don’t know about it yet. Mostly. Oh, and if you wanted local support for your corporate logos from people in the Haight Ashbury area, you’d be better off calling your nonprofit the Good Wiccan Foundation, and I’m srsly. Merry part.]

Here’s how things looked last month, August 2016, at the Golden Gate Park Panhandle Basketball Courts:


And here’s how things looked in late August – new blacktop and new blackboards, about what I expected:


But oh ho, now it’s all like this – an ocean of blue.

7J7C1448 copy

Warriors Blue:

7J7C1453 copy

Specifically Warriors Royal Blue (#006BB6; RGB: 0,107,182) and Golden Yellow (#FDB927; RGB: 237,23,76).

IDK, man, isn’t that a bit much?

And look, here’s what’s coming – a GSW roundel in the middle. Like this:

Capturefghfghtt copy

Like what the troubled Brown, Jr., Willie Middle School has, somewhat controversially.

I’ll tell you a story.

Just south of the (formerly) blacktop courts of the Panhandle…

Capturedfsdf copy

…lies the Panhandle Playground. It looks like this:

7J7C1449 copy

It’s a Kid’s Kingdom, just like many other playgrounds in America. General Motors paid for it back in the 1990’s. But of course now you can’t see who paid for it because Area Residents chipped away at the dedication plaque until it became illegible. It used to say, “WELCOME TO KID’S KINGDOM – DONATED BY YOUR LOCAL SATURN DEALER.”

See what I mean here? This sign was pretty subtle compared with what the Oakland Warriors have in store for us.

How big will the logo be? IDK, exactly. But will it be the largest corporate logo in Golden Gate Park? We’ll see.

Oh what’s that? All this is for Nate Thurmond who just passed on? Well yeah, but it already was for Nate. See?

7J7C1457 copy

This pedestal has been here since the year 2000:

7J7C1463 copy

Somehow, we managed to honor Nate without a sea of blue paint.

Here’s the agreement itself, if case you want to paint GGP in your own corporate colors.

“…a grant-in-place, valued at approximately $25,000 to perform maintenance and repairs to the Courts (the “Grant”) including, without limitation:  Resurfacing the courts  Painting new court lines and center court symbol  Demolishing the existing basketball post and backboard systems  Installing new basketball post and backboard systems…”

Take a look yourself at the contract with SFGov. It says the courts “need” new paint, but, in fact, they didn’t. Paint some new court lines, sure, but where is all this blueness mentioned in the K itself? We managed just fine without the Ocean of Blue we have now and the yellow “symbol” (logo) we’ll soon get, right?

The blue dominates the dojo now, wouldn’t you agree?

7J7C1583 copy

And oh yeah, the regulars don’t like the courts being closed. So they lash out:

7J7C1587 copy

Actually, the courts have been playable for a while now, but I guess they’re still fenced off in anticipation of the ribbon cutting on Saturday. (Oh, and the hoops themselves each have plastic chastity belt covers locked on to prevent any premature use.)

Anyway, here’s your notice:

7J7C1585 copy

All right, let’s leave this scene…

7J7C1586 copy

..and ponder whether GM should be allowed to buy a $25,000 ad on the neighboring Panhandle Playground. After all, GM paid for the playground originally, and they’d even pay for all the materials for their giant logo ad. And what the heck, we could let them paint everything GM Cobalt Blue (#0F3796; 15, 55, 150), as long as they paid for the paint itself, and then Everybody Would Know how great GM is. So what’s the diff between this idea and the actual deal Rec and Park just agreed to?

I’ll tell you, the GSW new logo (one supposes it will be installed afore September 10th, 2016, the day of its coming out party) will be seen, every day, by many many UCSF people from the nearby Parnassus Campus. How do you think they’re going to react when they see it, after all the Warriors have done to screw over UCSF at Mission Bay?

We’ll see.

“GRANT AGREEMENT AND PERMIT TO ENTER Between Good Tidings Foundation and San Francisco Recreation and Park Department (dated June 23, 2016 for reference purposes) This Grant Acceptance Agreement and Permit to Enter (the “Agreement”), is dated for reference purposes only as of _________________, 2016, by and between the City and County of San Francisco (“City”), acting through the Recreation and Park Department (the “Department” or “RPD”), and Good Tidings Foundation (“Good Tidings”), a California nonprofit public benefit corporation (collectively referred to herein as the “Parties”) yada yada yada…


Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

Tell the Truth 2016 visits Frisco in a 15-passenger van:

7J7C1171 copy

I’m thinking the CCC should prolly take their name off of their surplus vans…

Here They Are: The Brand-New Oakland Warriors Basketball Hoops in the GGP Panhandle – Reopening Soon

Monday, August 29th, 2016

You’d think the Oakland Warriors would be paying for blacktop ball in, IDK, Oakland?

IMG_0722 copy

Wonder if they’ll be able to advertise here, the way they fixed things at the (failed? failing? improving?) Willie Brown Academy…

We’ll find out Sept 10th.

New Wayfinding Signs Point Tourists on Bikes Off of Fell Street and On to the Panhandle Bike Path

Thursday, August 25th, 2016

You have many legal choices here, heading west at Baker – you can go on the bike path or you can go on the left side of the left lane of Fell, or you can go on the right side of the right lane of Fell, or (assuming you’re feeling especially vigorous and can keep up with Frisco’s version of a freeway even though it’s going uphill in this area) you can TAKE THE LANE:

20160823_164130 (2) copy

I’ve seen people doing all of these things, but 99% of the time, ppl take the bike path, as they should. And this especially applies to rental bike tourists, who generally don’t seem to be aware of the Golden Gate Park Panhandle Bicycle Path. Hence the wayfinding sign TO PANHANDLE PATH (even though it’s actually pointing exactly AT the path, oh well.

But these signs are kind of small, so I’ll still expect to see tourists on Fell Street oh well. And then on the return trip to their Union Square or Twitterloin hotels, I’ll still expect others to come east on the bike path and then go the wrong way on Fell for a couple blocks until they give up swimming upstream at Divisadero – that’s where the helmetless blond Euros with the 12 weeks of annual vacay generally seem to lose their religion to go the wrong way on, as stated, Frisco’s version of a freeway, oh well…

SAVE THE DATE: Our Oakland Warriors Will Do _Something_ on September 10th, 2016, to Promote Their Move to Frisco

Wednesday, August 24th, 2016

One supposes. Somewhere around Golden Gate Park?

Let’s see here, they just did their advertising deal with SFUSD.

And the Panhandle blacktop backboards, well they’re all shut down now, getting refurbished. See?

7J7C0869 copy

And the Oakland Warriors have been on a somewhat offensive charm offensive in Frisco lately, the better to do battle with these people, as the UCSF Mission Bay people wonder about their future.

I suppose we’ll just have to wait ’til September 10th…

Golden Gate Park Panhandle Basketball Courts to Temporarily Close August 22nd, 2016

Friday, August 12th, 2016

Play your blacktop game somewhere other than the PHBC for a while…

7J7C0301 copy