I guess we’ll get some kind of solution sometime in 2019…
Here we go – mercy sakes alive, looks like we’ve got us a convoy, on Webster Street. Who inside? IDK, prolly a VIP from some authoritarian regime, like the Peoples Republic of somewhere or some other place where they occasionally need to roll the tanks through the capital to maintain power. Here’s the driver, with a giant black Mercedes / Chrysler Sprinter maxi-van with tinted windows:
Well, fair enough, it’s a free country over here, right? But what’s this – no license plates? Is that kosher? Could it be a violation of the California Vehicle Code Section 5200? Mmmm. Or maybe this van was bought just last week, down in the OC*?
And who’s running with flashing red and blue lights in the convoy? An escort of about eight SUVs with illegally tinted front windows and, guess what, more paper license plates:
Oh whoops, here’s an SUV with a regular plate, the only one I could see:
Anyway, I’ve never seen this kind of thing.
The installation looked a bit tricky:
‘Cause you know, many Frisco street trees kill / harm people who aren’t horsing around in them. Our poorly-selected municipal sidewalk “forest” is tres fragile, non? (I would have expected an expensive ladder truck and an expensive crew of five or so SFGov workers. You know, now I’m starting to wonder if this is an official project. Maybe it’s some kind of prank, who knows.)
You hung your lights in the trees
That’s how many came to grief
Oh here we go, all done. Look, Jennifer Aniston approves:
(Hey, why do we have Victorian-era, 17 foot tall magazine ad towers on the sidewalks and Streets of San Francisco? IDK, political corruption? And what’s the steampunk roof thing for? IDK. And why does it say “San Francisco?” Do people forget where they are sometimes? I mean who signed off on this cheesiness? Why don’t we just ash can these things?)
Anyway, this is the scene south of the slot betwixt 4th and 5th as of yesterday.
Perhaps more electrified paper lanterns are coming? Perhaps…
I know what you’re thinking – you’re thinking, But Will It Drift?
Well, with plastic wrapped around the tires, the answer is YES
Like all these tickets are fake, per the SFPD:
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So if you try to use your fake ticket at the box office it won’t work, sorry.
Here’s a close-up from from Cornell Banard:
How can you tell a fake from a real ticket? I don’t think you can.
Many many fakes are out there:
@KimKardashian I got sold a fake ticket to outside lands fest to see Kanye!! Can you help me????
Waiting around by boxoffice watching all manner of teary-eyed white 20-somethings stomp away screaming on phones abt fake tix
Don’t buy tickets from scalpers. Judging by the amount of tears at the entry gate, they are almost all fake. Duh.
So, choose wisely.
(You can always try to go over or under The Wire, but that kind of thing probably won’t work.)
Forget about superwellknown Spoon Man from two decades back.
Just two years ago, San Francisco had its own icon – Pigeon Man.
All the pigeons of Civic Center knew Pigeon Man was coming – they’d walk with him down Larkin, Pied Piper-style. See?
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They used the crosswalk better than the average San Francisco pedestrian:
Here was the reward, some kind of grain, like what the Road Runner used to peck at:
It’s new, it’s you!
Look, these people even hid some Bitcoin (current market value = $20 or so) at Mark Zuckerberg’s house(?) in the Mission-ish area:
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Will YOU find an aluminum BC wallet? IDK, but you can’t win if you don’t play.
114 Followers can’t be wrong!
In closing, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yes, down at 1200 Market Street at 8th and Larkin and Grove, across the street from the Main Public Library
“I think this wrapper means we all have the same rights,” a young child explains.
“A burger has never made me cry before,” says a young woman.
“Proceeds from the limited-time-only $4.29 sandwich will be donated to the Burger King McLamore Foundation, the chain’s charity arm, for scholarships for college-bound LGBT high school seniors graduating next spring.”
Bonus round: Rainbow Crowns!
Oh, and from Burger King’s FaceBook page, where people are writing in to say that they’ll never eat at BK again: