Posts Tagged ‘parked’

Marin Headlands Mystery Machine: Sleep All Day, Party All Night – It’s Fun Being a Vampire

Thursday, November 13th, 2014

Wait for it…

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Wait for it…

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Oh, there it is. Boy, this is a little ballsy, huh?

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I don’t think the authoritahs could miss this parking job…

ULTIMATE PARKING MACHINE? – OMG, Viral Video: “Crazy Bay Area Driver Parking Her BMW #FAIL”

Friday, November 7th, 2014

Stanley Roberts feels that this one could still go viral – he thinks it’s Jimmy Kimmel-worthy.

I’m inclined to agree.

Wow, just wow.

What did she give him – $5, $20?

An now here’s the kicker. How to get out of the very same space?

Imagine this woman confronting the crazy-striped JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park – what would happen?

Thanks Wayne R – keep ‘em coming!

Big Sugar Causes a Traffic Jam on Chestnut Street on the Eve of the Prop E Vote, Same As Any Other Day

Monday, November 3rd, 2014

Let’s take a look here, aging Rolls Royce* on the left and lots of stalled cars ahead, starting at the 2000 block of Chestnut – this is just another day in the Marina Landfill:

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Oh, here’s the culprit:

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And here’s the payload, trying to hide behind a passerby.** Hey, take your time, Coca Cola!

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Do the vaunted “planners” of San Francisco have a plan for this kind of thing? Oh no, you all just don’t want to deal?

Don’t you think this kind of situation lowers your credibility, Planners?

And oh yes, Prop E 2014 itself. Well, all the money coming in from out of town certainly has had the effect of making certain local institutions look foolish, that’s fo sho. There are pros and cons to it, of course. Direct intake of liquefied sugar certainly can be a factor in getting the diabetes, but there are others too, right? Perhaps Dr. Scott Wiener will help you work on those after the election…

*That would be your Old Marina, you know, Facie Terraemotus. Now make sure you don’t say nothing bad about Saint Joseph DiMaggio, the Patron Saint of the Marina, in front of Old Marina – they’ll get super pissed off. But, you know, before Joltin’ Joe had left and gone away, he was known for being a big jerk on Chestnut Street. Yelling at barbers for no reason, stuff like that. There’s an appointment system, Joe – what makes you so special? Anyway, area Supervisor Mark Farrell remains a big fan of DiMaggio, for some reason… 

**That would be your New Marina, you know, Post Terraemotus.

The SFMTA vs. a Poor, Defenseless Google Maps Car – Does This “Crime” Really Cost SF $66?

Thursday, September 4th, 2014

What’s the damage to San Francisco if this Google Maps car blocked a DPW street sweeper for 35 feet worth of Fell Street? IDK? A penny? Ten cents? It’s just a few leaves down there, right?

But what’s the cost? $68.50. The Maps Car driver planned on moving this rig before 8:00 AM Tuesday, but, you know, sometimes you forget to move the car. Anyway, this car got ticketed, with extreme prejudice:

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If parking tickets are so great, why shouldn’t the SFMTA charge $168.50 or $268.50? Why should SF have the world’s most expensive parking tickets, along with America’s slowest big city transit system? Why are we so unlucky?

Millionaire Lady Has Her Minimum Wage Employee Double-Park a Large Mercedes on Market: Bay Area Bike Share (BABS) in Action

Thursday, August 14th, 2014

Well, here it is:

Am I far off on this one? Minimum wage is $10.74 per hour these days. How much do these bikeshare Mercedes drivers make, you know, at a time after Alta has admitted to a “mistake” or two? And it looks like Alta is “privately held” so who knows how many millionaires own it…

Is this situation what the Planners of San Francisco planned?

Or is this just-park-where-you-feel-like-Alta policy and concomitant bike rack installation a “chop-shop project,” the likes of which San Francisco pols claim to eschew?

The Craziest Bus Ever – As Seen in Haight Ashbury – A Volkswagen Transporter is Welded Up Top

Monday, August 11th, 2014

Thusly:

And thusly:

Welcome to town, Big White Bus.

Assignment Desk: Havana 94118 – The Locus of 1950′s Cars in San Francisco is 3047 Turk Street

Friday, June 27th, 2014

There are about a half-dozen classic cars parked around the end of Turk Street up above USF like all the time.

It’s a triple-beam lyrical dream for old car lovers:

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The above shot is recent, but here’s one from all the way back in aught-eight. See ‘em all?

Assignment Desk:

Who owns all these cars and why?

The Infamous Driveway-Blocking BMW of the Western Addition, Seen Here Promoting 7×7, San Francisco’s Favorite “Luxury Magazine”

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

For shame, 7×7, for shame.

Blocking peoples’ driveways is what turns NIMBYs from human beings into NIMBYs. It drivers them crazy.

Please oh please, 7×7, will you promise not to block any driveway ever again?

Now here you go, this isn’t illegal parking at all.

Baby steps, 7×7. Baby steps.

K thx bye

 

In a Way, the Great Car Towaway of Bay to Breakers 2014 Has Already Begun – Will You Pass This Parking IQ Test?

Friday, May 16th, 2014

Begin:

Look at these workers throwing signs over parked cars and into Golden Gate Park just yesterday. SFGov is required to give a little notice, so this is how they do it. Is it enough? Well, IDK. It’s certainly not enough for some people. (But think of the poor tow truck drivers who want to rifle through your car for loose change and folding money – they’re sort of people too, right?)

Here’s what the signs say:

So if you see the signs and then make sure to move your car off of Fell or Hayes or all those other streets, you pass the test – cngrats.

But if you parked your car before the towaway signs  went up, well, you’ve been towed and that will run you somewhere between $500-$1000.

Welcome to San Francisco!

The Perfect Parking Solution for San Francisco? A Simple Sign – “IN YOUR WAY? SORRY! CALL ME, I’LL MOVE – (415) xxx-xxxx”

Monday, May 5th, 2014

Here you go:

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I first started seeing these signs just last month, but they remind of those people I’ve heard and seen over the years who block you in and then leave a note on the windshield, you know, “Oh just call me at…” But the thing is that these people never pick up, that’s the thing.

Now let’s apply this to BART or MUNI, maybe change the words a bit and put them on a T-shirt what says:

“FEELING YOU UP? SORRY! TELL ME, I’LL STOP”

In other words, you’re not “sorry!” at all, you bastards.

Oh well.