Posts Tagged ‘parts’

“IF YOU”RE NOT THE MODEL, BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER” IRL – From The Tens – “Shots from the 47″

Monday, April 22nd, 2013

My most incoherent headline yet.

This was the question back in 2011.

And this was the answer.

Comes now The Tens with his take on photographer-model duality:

Via The Tens – click to expand

Good News: We’ve Found Your Stolen Bicycle on Market Street! But, Uh Oh

Monday, August 27th, 2012

Bad News: It’s all in pieces in a shopping cart driven by a man with all sorts of tools at hand.

See?

Click to expand

That’s how it goes on the Mean Streets of San Francisco, the innovation capital of the world, or something.

How the Little Monsters of San Francisco Steal Your Bike: First Immobilize, Then Come Back for the Kill

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

The owner of this ride first “lost” a wheel to a professional junkie / bike thief. Then the owner left the immobilized bike parked on the mean streets of San Francisco overnight. Then the thieves came back to finish the job.

Thusly: 

Click to expand

Was this an especially desirable bike?

Nope. (Note carpet remnant used as saddle upholstery.)

Wouldn’t it make more sense if the thieves were able to steal the whole bike?

Yep.

You know, back in the day, about twenty years ago, bike thieves would aspire to steal your whole bike. Thieves would carry around car jacks stolen from Volvos so they could be used to pry apart U-locks.

I think I’d prefer that, losing the whole bike, over coming back and seeing something like this.

You know, back in the day, horse thieves would steal your whole horse. They wouldn’t just take the tail or a leg and then leave you with a horse carcass.

Let’s make this a rule: Bike thieves, take the whole bike or nothing at all.

End of line. 

If Your RV Parked in SoMA Has 20 Bikes Inside, YOU JUST MIGHT BE A STOLEN BICYCLE FENCE

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

And then, when you purchase ever more stolen bikes, you can always put them on the roof.

Thusly. That’s right, one of the two on the left. The other shots I had were what you call more incrimernating:

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As seen daily on Division ‘neath the Great Freeway of SoMA…

“IF YOU”RE NOT THE MODEL, BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER” – A Mystery Solved – Photographer in Ad Actually a Model

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

O.K., so skip down below to see the ad from Target / Converse Shoes that caused a stir a while back. You know, over the whole “IF YOU”RE NOT THE MODEL, BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER” thing.

So I was thinking the photographer gal shown might actually have been a photographer who became a model for the first time because somebody took a photo of her OTJ photographing models.

And then I just saw this link here from Erin Williams talking about “the ad that I shot for Converse,” so I thought, yeah, she is a photographer IRL:

“My mom told me about this blog post that someone saw online in regards to the ad that I shot for Converse for Target. The tagline in the ad is “If you can’t be the model, be the photographer”.  I guess not everyone liked the line…  What do you think?”

But then one more click to one of the galleries on her website reveals she’s a model model:

(Because, of course, “the ad that I shot for Converse” can mean different things depending on whether you’re a model or a photographer.)

So, as stated, mystery solved.

Hurray!

Keep up the good work, Erin Williams.

Ah, memories:

“Maybe you can look at this new ad from Target and just lol.

But not Steve Meyer Photography, oh no:

“i just saw this ad on the back of a magazine. i feel so offended i need to take another deep breath before i start ranting. the tag line is “If you’re not the model, be the photographer.”

And Tzulin is not impressed, not at all:

I’m a girl and I was like…what! Converse, my favorite brand, is saying … If you can’t be a model…then be the photographer, those who can’t do..teach:) so offended !

But You Make The Call.*

As seen on Masonic:

Click to expand

*Uh yes, she’s particularly not ugly, she’s a cutie. And yes, IRL, she’s a model, if she wasn’t before she certainly is now. Isn’t it ironic, don’tcha think?

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Leave Your Bike Parked in Front of City Hall Next to a Police Car

Wednesday, September 28th, 2011

Because the little monsters will mess you up.

That’s why.

As seen on Polk betwixt Grove and McAllister:

Click to expand

Now, take this carcass into a bike shop and they’ll start talking about Chuck the Wheelbuilder and how great he is and then they’ll quote you a price that exceeds what you paid for the bike in the first place.

Oh well.

A Scuffle in the Twitterloin: Guardian Angels Attempt to Impose Sharia Law on Prostitutes in SoMA

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Let’s go on patrol with the San Francisco Guardian Angels near 7th Street just south of Market (aka the quieter part of our corrupt Twitterloin):

We ran into two women that were showing off their body parts so JD stopped the group and we went over there to check it out and see if there was anything we could do. But not too long later, Sparky got assaulted with some keys and we had to call the police at this point.”

Here’s the aftermath:

Click to expand

Now, what gives the San Francisco Guardian Angels the right to impose their values, you know, regarding issues such as the appropriate amount of body-part-showing-off you should be doing, in San Francisco?

I don’t know.

*Can you imagine? Like, what if these GA’s started patrolling the Castro or red carpet walks in front of the Academy Awards?

Bicycle Trilogy: Bicycle Seatpost and Saddle Theft Appears to be on the Rise in San Francisco

Tuesday, April 5th, 2011

Or seatpin or saddlepole or whatever you call the tube of metal or whatnot that the little monsters tend to also take when they set out to steal bike parts.

Now this kind of thing just didn’t happen back in the day. The bike thief of the 1990′s would do things proper, he’d take the trouble to first steal a Volvo car jack and then he’d carry it around all over the place hoping for the chance to jack your ride by applying force to your U-lock. Then he’d ride off.

I think I prefer the old-school thieves.

Or maybe this fellow is a stud what doesn’t need a saddle. (Actually I think I recognize him through his shoes.) Anyway, one for the ladies:

Click to expand

The point is that you’d almost never see this kind of  pathetic scene back in the good olde days…

Uh Oh, Appears As If San Francisco’s Little Monsters CAN Break a Bicycle U-Lock – But Look How Big It Is

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

I don’t know, I suspect that if this U-lock had been just a skosh smaller, it wouldn’t have been so easy to break.

I still think that protecting accessories is the big issue, so consider this image a kind of Minority Report.

Evidence of a clean getaway in the Financh – unusual these days…

Be on guard. This place is full of vulturesvultures everywhere,everywhere.

Developing a Theory of Bike Protection – How U-Locks Won the Battle But Lost the War – Know Your Tweeker

Thursday, December 16th, 2010

The inderspensable Uptown Almanac seems to have a theme of bike thievery, lately. See?

Via The UA

Now, back in the day, back in the 1970′s and 1980′s, bike thieves would strive to take your whole bike, and usually, they would succeed. But then came the U- Lock. The Bike Theft Community responded by carrying around Volvo car jacks, and freeze gas, and whatnot. But that wasn’t too practical, it turned out. And U Locks got better – physically smaller and harder to pick. So, the Bike Theft Community responded by being satisfied to simply strip parts from your bike for easy resale. And that’s the situation we have now.

I’ll tell you, back in the day, the 415 didn’t have such a robust market for stolen bike parts running 24-7 the way we do now. That’s why, especially when compared with most other parts of the USA, your focus should be on protecting accessories on the frame as opposed to the frame itself. Sure, U locks still get broken, but not at all at the rate of two decades ago, that’s for sure.

Now, because the average low-life bike theft tweeker has seemingly lost the technology of breaking U locks, you can safely go cheap, like a $15 OnGuard / WalMart.com special. That’ll free up some of your cash to protect the things that matter:

Wheels

Saddle/seatpost

Headset

How do you do that? I don’t know, cables and chains and leashes and locking skewers and ball bearings superglued into your headset, thusly. Anything to make your low-life tweeker bike thief carry a bunch of different kinds of tools around, anything to make your low-life tweeker bike thief reconsider a few life choices.

Bon courage!

Encountering a 21st century horse thief outside of your favorite local bar. Oh well:

Via, once again, TUA