Posts Tagged ‘Philip Frederick Anschutz’

Can’t Billionaire Philip Anschutz Afford a Few More Porta-Potties for Bay to Breakers 2009?

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

Hey, Colorado Billionaire Philip F. Anschutz! Did you the just run the Bay to Breakers footrace today, as you have so many times before? You’re like 70 years old and you’re clocking six-point-something-minute miles uphill and downhill? My grandmother would need to rest after just walking through the SoMA part of the course. DoOd, you’re a stud.

But what’s up with the race? I mean, you have/had an ownership interest in it, right? And you’re still the ”A” in AEG, I believe. So isn’t it YOUR race – isn’t that what people mean when they say B2B is “privately owned?“ Well, let’s take a look see:

What’s wrong with this picture? Each Porta-Pottie has like at least a dozen people waiting in line. You can’t afford to have enough?  FAIL! Click to expand:

Aren’t you a “B” as in “boy” billionaire? Let’s check your Wiki:

“Philip Frederick Anschutz (born 28 December 1939 in Russell, Kansas) is an American businessman and supporter of conservative Christian causes. With an estimated current net worth of around $7.8 billion, he is ranked by Forbes as the 31st richest person in the USA.”

Your race is undercapitalized? Just can’t afford an appropriate amount of temporary bathrooms?

Here’s the reverse angle:

And here’s the result of mismanagement of resources. See? It’s the other side of the toilets. Is this the end of the world? No, it’s not. But your Smitherseses from New Yawk at AEG always place 0% of the blame on themselves, and that’s not right.

(Not sure what’s up with this. Some people should behave better, of course. Oh well.)

Do you think that I’d ever dream of buying up a storied civic event in Colorado like Park County Cow Days or something? I wouldn’t even if I could. But if I did, I’d make sure there were enough Porta-Potties for all, incuding those melon farmers who didn’t bother to register, stealing MY MONEY!!! I’d say fix this issue, make it so, inform my banker of any additional needs. But that’s just how I roll. (I also wouldn’t impose big town San Francisco values on small town Colorado neither, like making nudity mandatory at Cow Days or requiring all the doods to kiss each other, or something.)

How do you roll, Philip? How will you be remembered after you escape this mortal coil? You know back in the day, San Francisco had a general vote to tell Andrew Carnegie to cram it with walnuts when he wanted to donate money for libraries about town. Well, good thing that election turned out the way it did in 1912, because the legacy of AC is a brace of Carnegie Libraries in San Francisco. Like this.

What’s your legacy going to be, Philip Frederick Anschutz? Becks and Posh moving to L.A., Narnia movies, and being the kind of guy who was too cheap to properly finance and manage the Bay to Breakers? 

Is that right?

Gotta make a change

For once in my life

It’s gonna feel real good

Gonna make a difference

Gonna make it right.

P.S. Thank you for not asking us to pay for your windpower projects, the way that Pickens guy is doing. Srsly.