Posts Tagged ‘phone books’

Sorry “Christopher B. Dolan Law Firm,” But All Your New Phone Books Just Went Into the Recycling

Monday, December 8th, 2014

You know, I was just thinking how long it’s been since I’ve seen any waterlogged phone books stacked up on the Streets of San Francisco.

But now, they’re back, all over the place. See?

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But then, nobody picks them up and then they’re garbage. Or recycling.

Hey, how many days does it take for an unwanted stack of phone books to become garbage? One? Two?

And hey, what about the plastic around the phone books – is that the recyclable kind? IDK.

And if a hundred get stacked up outside a large apartment building, then the super’s gotta go through and unwrap each one? Sounds like a chore.

Speaking of which, here’s a dozen or so 2015 415 books in a Recology blue bin:

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Poor naive Dolan Law Firm – all that marketing money, wasted!

I’ve said this before – nobody in the 415 wants your product, phone book industry. What you all should do is deliver your books, unwrapped, direct to Recology and save us all a lot of trouble.

PS: “Opt out” is a lie. That’s just what they want you to do, opt out. Oh, please take all my information, you know, to prove I am who I say I am, so that the phone book industry can rest assured that “bad actors” aren’t impersonating me in order to deprive me of my phone book, for some odd reason, and I’m supposed to “opt out” each and every year, the better to keep track of me? OK fine. And oh, you dinosaurs have a “sustainability report?” Well why don’t you people print it out on paper and send it to me every year, whether I want it or not? GREAT!

Haven’t Seen a San Francisco Phone Book in a Good Long Time – Perhaps the Industry is Giving Up on the 415?

Friday, November 28th, 2014

Seems like we saw a lot more phone books around town a half-decade ago – they were all over the place, whether you wanted them or not.

These days, they’re a lot smaller:

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Anyway, it looks like the phone book industry has pretty much given up on delivering their useless products to us.

Good.

Oh Look, It’s Phone Book Recycling Season Again! I’ve Tossed About 100 Black Phone Books Already – “Opt Out” is a Lie!

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

And when I say recycling, I’m talking about picking up these black phone books and dropping them in the nearest recycle bin, which sometimes isn’t all that far away.

So, if you’re walking about and see these books, try playing along to see how many you can do.

Try to beat my score!

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Of course “opting out” is chimerical. What you’re doing is giving all your info to spammer-type people. What you’re doing is allowing them the ability to spam you again in a year, or three at the most.

No no, your best bet is to just recycle these things on sight, plastic wrapper and all.

ATTENTION PHONE BOOK INDUSTRY: SAN FRANCISCO DOESN’T WANT YOUR PRODUCTS. 

Attention San Francisco: The Great Phonebook Recycle of 2012 Has Begun – If You See a Big Stack, Recycle Immediately

Friday, November 30th, 2012

Here’s a good dozen what sat in the lobby for twelve long hours.

Guess what? Nobody took even a one.

So these books got hauled off to the big blue bin when I got home last night. Good times.

And best of all,  those The Real Yellow Pages / AT&T / YP books are surprisingly small these days, so you can carry them all in just one trip, you know, before they get all soggy:

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Uh, AT&T, what’s the point of this exercise?

Nobody in San Francisco wants your Yellow Pages.

I know you think that we do, but we don’t.

Does Verizon do this? No

Does Sprint do this? No

Does T-Mobile do this? No

So why do you do it?

I know that you can do it, you know, legally, but I don’t know why you do it.

If you want to get credit for giving minimum wage union members money, why not just give them money and be done with it?

Anyway, if I see any stack of your phonebooks anywhere about town anywhere near a big blue recycling bin or an AT&T store, they’re all going to get together tout de suite.

No charge.

See you in Hell, Yellow Pages people.

NB: Don’t try to “opt out,” San Francisco. All that does is give your contact information to AT&T so that they can ask you, every fucking year, if you still want to opt out. My conclusion: AT&T is a cancer.

The Dry San Francisco Phone Books of Winter Have Become the Soggy San Francisco Phone Books of Spring

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

See? They’re still out there.

Shouldn’t the telephone book companies send their people around to pick up all the unwanted phone books still sitting around after a month or two?

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Now, is this true?

“Just this week, a San Francisco Board of Supervisors committee voted to ban the distribution of commercial phone books.”

Uh, not really. The proposal was sort of like a ban, but not really.

Oh well

Is This a Useless Telephone Book Delivery, a Useless Telephone Book Protest, or Useless Telephone Book Performance Art?

Monday, April 11th, 2011

Do you think these guys going past the Academy of Art University on Mission were simply:

1. Delivering useless phone books; or

2. Marching to return the useless phone books from whence they came as so many have done before them; or

3. Performing some of that performance art to make you wonder about What It All Means?

Well, my vote is for option 3:

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What those phone book companies ought to do is to deliver them direct to your recycling bin and then you could fish them out if you actually wanted them.

That would save a lot of trouble…

Attention Phone Book Companies: San Francisco Does Not Want Your Product

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

Here’s the problem – you phone book companies just assume that people want your product. En realidad, nobody wants phone books anymore.

What’s that? People like the coupons? Well, then just mail them the coupons, fine. What’s that? People can always call these 800 numbers to opt out of this whole meshugenah process? And then what? Get put on hold and then “press 4, then 5, then 2…” Srsly

Maybe most everybody in Witchita, Kansas likes your five pound paperbacks, but not out here on the west si-iiide of the country.  

The horror – unwanted, soggy phone books. Click to expand:

And do you realize what people are doing with your pulped up dead trees? Setting portable toilets on fire, that’s what. Really. It’s supposed to be a secret, but do with this information as you will.

To review, nobody wants your product. All souls living in the 415 want to opt out of home delivery.

In the alternative, just put your books directly into the recycling bins out front to save us the trouble.

Please make a note of this for next year. Kthanxbye.