Posts Tagged ‘pink’

The Lyftiest Lyft Car to Ever Lyft in Frisco

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Complete with external mustache, natch.

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Don’t Settle for Any Kind of Baseball Bat, Demand “GENUINE PLASTIC” – And Specify the “PRO MODEL”

Monday, September 28th, 2015

‘Cause, you know, that’s what the wiffle ball professionals use and, of course, we all want to be just like them:

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As seen at a local City Target, now with gender neutral pegboard displays, as you can see…

Mary Kay Humvee: PINK PINK PINK – Complete with Chromed Wheels

Friday, September 25th, 2015

As seen on the I-80

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San Francisco City Target Infrastructure Color Coding: Pink for Girls and Blue for Boys

Wednesday, April 29th, 2015

Aisle after aisle:

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Frisco Goes Full Florida – What are All These Miami People Doing in Town All of a Sudden? Photographic Proof!

Friday, April 3rd, 2015

I says to myself, I says, what is this, did all of Miami Beach come to the Western Addition?

And then I see the Florida plates:

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Oh, that explains that.  And then I notice the bluest Camaro I’ve ever seen.

Speaking of which, more Florida plates, this time in the 94102:

(Florida plates, heh.)

And what’s this, a brand-new LEAP bus?

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Cf. this brand-new eBay bus. “Surf blue?” How about Bay Window Beige instead?

I cry foul:

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Your monochromatic blues, your gold-wrapped Lambos, they all belong in the Sunshine State, non?

And the latest insult, on Van Ness?

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Shouldn’t the neon pink MIAMI AD SCHOOL be in Miami and not SF?

We’re not ready for all this. Take your pinks and blues and head on home, Florida!


Thursday, March 12th, 2015

As seen by Manys here:

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Oh, and here’s another.

I’ll point out that sometimes it’s the unregistered sex offenders…

Ed Reiskin Refuses to Comply with the SFMTA Citizens Advisory Council, So Let’s Run a Trial on Masonic Ourselves

Wednesday, December 17th, 2014

Here’s the Citizens Advisory Council’s recommendation that Ed Reiskin, operator of America’s slowest and least efficient big-city transit system, has refused:

“Motion 140122.01 – The SFMTA CAC recommends that the peak hour restrictions be repealed on Masonic Avenue between Geary and Fell Streets, with the objective to measure traffic impacts on the 43 Masonic prior to the implementation of the Masonic Avenue street design project.”

Why did he do that? Well, because a “success” for him is the SFMTA spending the money it’s been given to spend. So why should he do anything to interfere with that when he’s in the red zone already?

Anywho, you can read what he has to say about a test-run after the jump.

In view of this dysfunction, let’s run a Masonic “streetscape” trial of our own, shall we?

Let’s start here, northbound, on the 3000 foot stretch of Masonic that will soon be changed: 

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See the bus? It’s stopped at a bus stop, let’s imagine. That means that Masonic will be down to one lane inbound, you know, temporarily, during the morning drive. How will this affect traffic, do you suppose? How many minutes will it add to your commute each way, each day? Mmmm…

Since we’re imagining, imagine a large median filled with trees on either side of the double yellow line. Now is that for safety or for aesthetics? The answer is that it’s for aesthetics. Compare that with the SFMTA’s disastrous, expensive, deadly 105-foot-wide Octavia “Boulevard” / I-80 on ramp. Yes, it’s has a vegetated median as well. So, is “safety” the SFMTA’s “number one goal?” No, not at all. Its real goal is expanding its payroll and spending ever more money. So of course if you pressure it to do things you want done, like planting trees in the middle of the street, which, of course, has nothing to do with safety, it will happily comply.

Will any commuters benefit from these soon-to-come “improvements?” No, not at all. These changes are going to slow the commute way down and that will impede people in cars and MUNI buses. Did the SFMTA do any “outreach” to / with commuters? Nope. It didn’t feel like it. The SFMTA prefers to host meetings packed with “urbanists” and San Francisco Bicycle Coalition employees and members. Do these people represent “the public?” No, not at all. Yet the SFMTA claims do have done public outreach.

How will these changes to Masonic, the Great Connector, affect the surrounding area? We’ll just have to wait and see. If, later on, you raise any issues with the SFMTA about the negative effects of all their changes, they’ll be all, well, expand our budget even more and we’ll redo the project again to fix this and that.

Of course, the way to run the trial run would be simply take away all the parking spaces for a day or so, right? So what you’d do is just simply shut down the slow lanes as a test. This alternative would satisfry (mmmm, Satisfries…. R.I.P) at least some of the objections that Ed Reiskin, operator of America’s slowest and least efficient big-city transit system, mentioned.

Would Ed Reiskin want to try this alternative trial? No, not at all. (See above.) Mr. R will be happy to ignore all the complaints only after the tens of millions of dollars have been spent.

Do I think that a bunch of people riding MUNI and driving cars every day, tens of thousands of people, are going say, wow, my commute has really slowed down after all these changes so I’m going to join the handful of souls on bicycles huffing and puffing up this big hill? Nope. Some might, of course, but it won’t be any kind of meaningful number.

And do I think it’s honest for SFMTA employees to tell higher authorities that’s there’s no public opposition to these changes? Nope. Oh well.

All right, that’s the thought experiment. It looks like this one’s going to go like a bunch of other SFMTA-created initiatives, you know, like the ideologically-driven traffic circles,  the absurdly-wide Octavia “Boulevard,” the crazy re-striping of the east end of JFK Drive – they’ll just look at them all and then pat themselves on the back and hand each other awards for these “accomplishments,” these “successes.”

[UPDATE: Oh yeah, a couple people asked me if I approve of this project. And like, I live a block away, but it won’t really affect me, myself, I don’t think. Seems selfish to think now-hey-what-about-me, anyway. What ended up happening  with Octavia is that they really biased the lights in favor of Octavia, so people have to wait to a long time to get across the whole 105 foot width. So maybe it’ll be a 90-second wait to get across Masonic when all is said and done? IDK, it’s hard to predict how much the SFMTA is going to mess things up with this arbor project, this tree planting diversion. So, what will the effects be? Will commuters abandon Masonic? How will they get around instead? IDK]

On It Goes…

Now, as promised, a note from Ed Reiskin, after the jump


Not Just SPAM, “SPAM Teriyaki!” – Look for the Pink and Blue Boxes – Making SPAM Musubi is Now a Breeze

Tuesday, December 9th, 2014

This stuff is all the rage in Hawaii

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And these days you can buy cases and cases in the 415.

And wouldn’t this gelatinous stuff be just perfect for a baby shower? I think so.

ULTIMATE PARKING MACHINE? – OMG, Viral Video: “Crazy Bay Area Driver Parking Her BMW #FAIL”

Friday, November 7th, 2014

Stanley Roberts feels that this one could still go viral – he thinks it’s Jimmy Kimmel-worthy.

I’m inclined to agree.

Wow, just wow.

What did she give him – $5, $20?

An now here’s the kicker. How to get out of the very same space?

Imagine this woman confronting the crazy-striped JFK Drive in Golden Gate Park – what would happen?

Thanks Wayne R – keep ‘em coming!

Remembering the Aughts: When San Francisco Hippies Wore Crocs Shoes, Srsly

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

As seen in Civic Center back in the aughts:

How will we remember The Aughts? IDK.

This is how I’ll remember the aughts, a time when you (well, not you yourself, but some people, well, maybe just one person, for some reason) could easily recover from big, big mistakes like this

Confession: I still have a pair of Crocs (pink, size XXL, thank you very much) from that time Costco sold a few container ships worth, back in the aughts. Of course they weren’t counterfeit, but they were less than $15 and that pissed off the Crocs people oh well.