But does it get better mileage than a non-hybrid Honda CRX HF from 1980′s?
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You just don’t know how special you are ’til you own and operate a Tesla Model S.
Why, you’re so special that, in some states, you didn’t even have to pay sales tax to get your new ride. And here in California, your wundercar can go all of its 200-something mile range on the freeway in the carpool / HOV lane even though you’re sitting in your car all by your lonesome!
Now check out Dude here on Masonic. He’s got his official CA HOV stickers on all four corners. Plus, he’s also got a license to jibber jabber on his handheld cell phone while driving. I mean, he must – just look at him:
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Oh but Dude, don’t speed too much else the maximum range on your $100,000 car will go down to 100-something miles and then you’ll have to get towed, like this:
(Funny story – in the mind of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, the driver of this car drove it in circles specifically to make it run so low on juice that it wouldn’t go no mo. That wasn’t true but oh well. And this Model S wouldn’t even allow its needlessly-complicated doors to open for the tow-truck monkey, that child of a Lesser God, so it could be, you know, put into neutral so, you know, it could get towed. Oh, and here’s another funny one. How many kids should you have with 30-something Elon Musk before he trades you in for a newer, sexier model-type model? Five[!] Five kids, srsly. And then the former Mrs. Elon Musk is like, “At least she’s not a blonde.”)
Anywho, the question of the day is why you’d even want such a long, low, and wide big-on-the-outside-yet-small-on-the-inside vehicle such as a Model S? It’s like an electrified Porsche Panamera four-door, right? And compared to my full-sized. eight-passenger motherfucking Land Cruiser, the Model S is longer[!] and wider[!] (How can that be?) And I’ll tell you, my ride, which isn’t exactly known for high MPG, no not at all, has a real-life range of 400-something miles on the freeway.
Oh, what’s that, your Model S is shiny and it has a lot of chrome and it makes you feel special? Well, then carry on with your super important phone call, by all means.
You have become a Supraman.
“As far back as Yossarian could recall, he explained to Clevinger with a patient smile, somebody was always hatching a plot to kill him. There were people who cared for him and people who didn’t, and those who hated him were out to get him. They hated him because he was Assyrian. But they couldn’t touch him, he told Clevinger, because he had a sound mind in a pure body and was as strong as an ox. They couldn’t touch him because he was Tarzan, Mandrake, Flash Gordon. He was Bill Shakespeare. He was Cain, Ulysses, the Flying Dutchman; he was Lot in Sodom, Deirdre of the Sorrows, Sweeney in the nightingales among trees. He was miracle ingredient Z-247. He was…
Crazy!” Clevinger interrupted, shrieking. “That’s what you are! Crazy!”
“…immense. I’m a real slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I’m a bona fide Supraman.”
“Superman?” Clevinger cried. “Superman?”
Supraman,” Yossarian corrected.”
“Yossarian is transcendent man. He is rising above the living dead all around him to find a way to live. He is basically alone in his quest. A real hero.”
“I am, I am Supraman, and I can do anything.”
Figure one of these cams is constantly scanning license plates and the other is used on accident investigations:
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And there are other cameras on this bus as well. For MUNI fights ‘n stuff.
Anyway, if the SFPD is looking for you and you park your ride on a bus line street or, really, if you just drive it around the 415, this bus-mounted camera scanner is how they found you.
And if you park illegally in a bus stop, SFMTA employees will read your plate from the video and use that to issue you a ticket.
Cameras, cameras everywhere…
Up first, spotted skulking about the Western Addition, which certainly would make sense, comes the whip of the Pariah Nation, North Korea’s BFF. Check out the cutesy numbers and letters on the quasi-Fed-issued consul license plate.
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(And, ironically, the car is the flagship model of the world-famous Tahara Plant, the finest car factory in the world since the 1980′s. Thomas L. Firedman still has a total boner for it.- he took the tour and got the T-shirt. My ride was made there well, AAMOF. Actually, I passed through there just last month, you know, on bidness. That’s the country that got all invadey starting about a century ago ’til about seven decades ago. Hey, who’s invading Filipino islands these days? I’ll give you just one guess! Ooh, my ride had a cheesy SERRAMONTE license plate holder as well. But I didn’t even buy my car there, so WTF was that for, who told you to put that thing on? Not just plastic bolts, metal. I couldn’t get them off myself so they had to do it for me. But while I was down there one time, I told the extreeeeeemely cute front line sales rep that she ought to sue for harassment if what I saw and heard was routine. Guess what – she got together with her friends and took action by hiring some law firm/lawyer and ended up getting a ton of money from the dealership group. I’ll tell you about it sometime. Oh and that’s the same dealership where bay area favorite son Tom Hanks got a nice SUV, also from Tahara, also the best in the world, about a half-decade back. I’ll tell you about that sometime too. But I digress…)
Up next comes Taiwan. Poor Taiwan! See that, “FOREIGN ORGANIZATION,” like it’s not even a country.
That’s some fucked up shit right there.
5006.5. (a) The department may issue, for a fee determined by the department to be sufficient to reimburse the department for actual costs incurred pursuant to this section, distinctive license plates for motor vehicles owned or leased by an officer or a designated employee of a foreign organization recognized by the United States pursuant to the Taiwan Relations Act (22 U.S.C. Sec. 3301 et seq.) when the department is otherwise satisfied that the issuance of the license plates is in order.
(b) The distinctive license plates shall be designed by the department and shall contain the words “Foreign Organization.”
(c) The department shall establish procedures for both of the following:
(1) To verify the eligibility of an applicant for plates issued pursuant to this section.
(2) To authorize a recognized foreign organization to apply on behalf of its officers for plates issued pursuant to this section.
Added Ch. 397, Stats. 1994. Effective January 1, 1995.”
On It Goes.
Costco #144 (America’s First Urban Costco) in SoMA chose to sell some Cal-branded stuff but that turned out to be a mistake.
These lovely paper plate / paper napkin sets originally sold for over $10, at first. But not many people wanted them so managers were forced to mark these things down to just $2.97, just to get them out of there.
For shame, Cal Alum, for shame. Have you no Spirit?
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I’ll bet the bright red Stanfurd sets stocked at more southerly Costcos sold out at full price.
A: “Hey babe, you used to be a Lecturer at Cal, right? Don’t you want one of these sets, you know, for a party or something?”
Check it – what do you think these rooftop sensors are for?
As seen on Market Street two days afore the big Halloween 2012 San Francisco Giants parade:
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Hey, SFMTA! Is this your new set of wheels? Oh it is? Well then, what are those attachment things on the roof detecting? Are they detecting a whole bunch of license plates? Well, good for you, SFMTA, good for you.
On McAllister Street during last night’s evening drive:
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OMG, it’s Automatic Number Plate Recognition in the 415! And these things are not just sitting fixed by the ballpark during the World Series, oh no, they’s everywhere.
If only MUNI and the streetcars worked as good as these Blue Crush SkyCop-type contraptions:
Anyway, last I saw, this white Chevrolet Uplander minivan was headed into the Fillmore to catch violators.
“Freaking trash! I wonder how much they owe? Most of them are on the run, not even using their social security numbers. If there was only a way to make them pay…”
All right, Repo Man, that’s enough,
O.K., all the deets. I hope our meter maids have all the features shown here:
License Plate Reader
SkyCop® – Mobile License Plate Recognition & Video Surveillance System Pan & Tilt LPR Unit with Thermal Imaging Camera and High Resolution Day / Night Camera Hideaway Touchscreen Radio System
The SkyCop ® Mobile License Plate Recognition & Video Surveillance System (MLPRV) is a complete License Plate Recognition System packaged in a platform to provide mobile, on the fly, license plate reading, video surveillance and analysis. The most advanced of its kind, the MLPRV system incorporates all of today’s advanced technologies to provide on board storage, and remote access for database updates, data offload, and video records retrieval. This technology allows officers to instantly check license plate information as they drive through their patrol areas. Information such as:
All of this information is provided instantly to the officer while they operate their vehicle, without any user action.
Designed for use in Law Enforcement type vehicles the MLPRV system can also be used with SkyCop® Trailer units and other types of vehicles to increase access protection on a temporary basis for special events. All MLPRV systems provide advanced user friendly features such as the dash mount Touch Screen Control / View Panel with “quick touch” keys for preset positioning of the License Plate Reader and Video Cameras.
Complete with full Pan and Tilt capabilities users can position the License Plate Reader Module in any position desired for precision read areas. Five (5) preset positions are available for frequent positioning. In addition to control functions the dash mounted Touch Screen provides real-time read display and live video display information to the user. “Hot List(s)” information can be entered or imported into the on board computer system to provide flag and alert information to the operator for License Plates that have been designated as plates of interest through local and national databases. Other advanced options and features allow for full integration into other SkyCop® products such as Thermal Imaging Cameras and High Resolution Day / Night Cameras that can be mounted on the Pan & Tilt device. The MLPRV System can also monitor and control other citywide deployments of SkyCop Camera systems for advanced monitoring of a scene. Command Center can also display the MLPRV System while in operation.
The MLPRV is a vehicle-mounted system for license plate image capture and video processing permitting autonomous operation (requiring no direct action of a user) to read license plates and match against various hot list of wanted vehicles.
The Mobile Video Surveillance Platform will record video and audio using H.264 compression and have the ability to
record up to eight (8) analog cameras for on board video and audio storage with remote streaming to a command center. The system will include a 7” In-Dash Touchscreen for control and monitoring. The License Plate Recognition System (LPR) will use dual-camera imaging (high-resolution cameras for license plate reading, secondary cameras for evidence gathering), GPS (with or without) moving map display, back-end evidence and reporting software, and a wireless communication capability for transferring data between the back-end and each mobile unit. The LPR and Video Surveillance system is mounted on a Pan & Tilt drive system and can be installed on the center light bar or other preferred areas. The LPR and Surveillance Cameras can be automatically positioned on all sides of the vehicle while in operation.
I don’t know, if I wanted to create gridlock in SoMA / Financial / Union Square, I think I’d hire some jackasses to drive “mobile billboards” around the block and around the block all day long.
“Blocking the box” yesterday with a mobile billboard truck in the middle of the intersection of 3rd Street and Market:
“Hey everybody! Stop everything and look at me!”
Reverse angle – now the driver is only blocking one lane of 3rd Street:
Note the Washington state license plates.
And here’s the result of the advertising trucks. Gridlock:
“Blocking the box” is illegal these days, but the SFPD doesn’t really hand out tickets for that, so have at it.
Now I’ll tell you, Lyft taxi, a service that you just might like, isn’t legal, but mobile billboards, a “service” that you don’t like, are legal, more or less.
Isn’t it ironic?
Don’t cha think?
As promised, the report from Civic Center Miguel.
Cruising Civic Center the night of September 15th, 2012, driving around City Hall over and over and over. Polk Street:
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