Posts Tagged ‘porsche’

Hands-Free? Free to Do What, Spank Your Monkey? SFPD Says Porsche Driver’s Phone Sex Causes Collision with Tree

Tuesday, May 5th, 2015

I would Like this SFPD Facebook entry, but I don’t know how! (Isn’t that sad?)

Anyway, make up your own jokes here:

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INJURY TRAFFIC COLLISION
MLK & Chain of Lakes (Golden Gate Park)
04-25-2015 4:12 AM
A Porsche was traveling eastbound on MLK at an unsafe speed when the driver ran off the road and collided with a tree. He told officers that he was having a phone conversation of a sexual nature (it’s unknown whether this conversation was hands free as required by the vehicle code). He suffered major injuries and major damage to his car. He was cited for speeding and for driving with a suspended license.

The Largest Rear-View Mirror I’ve Ever Seen on a Porsche

Monday, April 20th, 2015

To review.

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The first rule of Car Club is KEEP IT STOCK

And The second rule of Car Club is, similarly, KEEP IT STOCK as well…

Porsche Cayenne Minivan Driver Parks on the Sidewalk, on the Crosswalk, and on an Abandoned Mattress

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

With 4WD, you can park anywhere, right?

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As seen in the Western Addition, an area that’s “in transition…”

Matchbox Car IRL: Porsche, Yellow, #6

Thursday, January 1st, 2015

As seen on Sutter:

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A San Francisco Nuclear Family – Dogs are Cheaper Than Kids, So Use the Money You Save to Buy a Convertible Porsche

Thursday, December 4th, 2014

Mommy and Daddy up front, and two canine furballs in the back:

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There’s your big city living right there. There’s your sign of the times…

David Bellona’s Street Photo Wins the Internet So Far for 2014: “SF HUNGRY, MARIN DRUNK”

Friday, January 10th, 2014

[UPDATE: The car’s name is REDACTED. REDACTED’s owner is REDACTED  of the city of  REDACTED, CA. REDACTED is the publisher of REDACTED, per REDACTED.

Here’s what REDACTED says about REDACTED’s “DRUNK” license plate:

“I realize many people feel this says bad things about me. I feel that says bad things about them”

OK then.]

[UPDATE II: Alleged super-private personal information that was not actually super-private personal information but, in fact, was useful to prove to skeptical MSM-types that people can actually have a personalized license plate what spells out “DRUNK,” REDACTED. Boy, aren’t we touchy touchy! Awfully touchy for somebody having that on his license plate in fucking Marin, the world capital of drunk drivers. I guarantee that every cop that sees your plate does a double-take. And I thought you had posted a little ditty about your plate (because you had). But if you want to trade your exciting high-profile lifestyle ride for my boring, unnamed and aging Land Cruiser, well, let’s do it, if it would help you out if your shame spiral.  In any event, REDACTED.  (In mitigation, REDACTED is NOT the publisher of Gannett Co Inc’s The Bold Italic.)]

This shot from Mark DeVito has got it all.

From the streets of San Francisco, the current status of SF:

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Indeed, this is no place for a convertible!

Let’s hope that this driver doesn’t wind up on the Marin County Sheriff’s Public Booking Log any more than the average Marinite driver…

An Oldie But a Goodie: The Store Formerly Known as “T&A Market” on Market Outlasts an Actual T&A Market Next Door

Friday, June 14th, 2013

Click here to see how things were in 2010, before the time certain people realized the meaning of “T & A.”

And this is how things are today in 2013:

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You gotta figure the world-famous Market Street Cinema isn’t coming back anytime soon considering its URL has been sold off.

And I worry.

I worry about Mercedes, Porsche, Lexus, and Ferrari, among others.

How will they pay for business school now?

“14 reviewsRating Details

Category: Adult Entertainment  [Edit]

1077 Market St
(between Jones St & Golden Gate Ave) 
San Francisco, CA 94103
Neighborhood: SoMa

(415) 861-2727

What we found out was, as long as you drop a lot of cash, ANYTHING goes in this place. ANYTHING. Once you’re in the “Members Only Lounge”, it’s a whole new world. Yup, Chris Rock obviously had never been to Market Street Cinema, because…yeah. Even the stripper was real with us, she was like, “You can call this a whorehouse, or a party house, or whatever, but guys come in here and spend thousands of dollars, so, we’re still here.” I doesn’t get more real than that.

Gracious Urban Living? The Rich People of San Francisco Have Run Out of Nice Places to Live – Little Boxes

Friday, October 19th, 2012

A wind-blown box sloping uphill in two directions, while facing the big E.R. for the Western Addition.

Here’s what it looks like north of NoPA and south (and also west) of the projects:

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Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There’s a green one and a pink one 
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there’s doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky 
And they all look just the same.
There’s a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

 

Word for the Day: A “Sailbag” is a Douchebag Who Comes to Town to See the Staged America’s Cup Boat Race

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

Here’s the view from the front, complete with fake Euro-style Front License Plate* and handicapped placard** allowing said sailbag the right to park wherever the Hell he wants however long he wants, for free:

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And here’s the rear view what gives the game away. See? It says right there “SAIL BAG.”

And dude’s from Marin County of course.

And there’s a yacht club logo in there as well, of course.

All that’s missing is the CHP 11-99 Foundation scam license plate holder, of course, you know, to get out of those sticky situations involving the police and the CHP, you know, because you’re a Eurotrash sailbag from god damn Marin County so you drive like a bat out of Hell.

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

And more are coming, soon enough.***

In closing, sailbag.

*Is this a legal setup in California? NO, not at all – the DMV gave you an FLP for a reason. I’m not sure if other states still require front license plates, but CA sure does. Peace officers and meter maids both will cite you for this.

**Is this a legal use of a handicap placard? Probably. But do I think that said sailbag deserves to park for free all day on the streets of San Francisco? No. What dude’s doing isn’t exactly illegal because nobody ever gets in trouble for it. You could get a handicapped placard as well, why not? If the first doctor says no, then keep on looking, there’s nothing stopping you from doctor shopping. And then eventually you will find one to sign the DMV form. And actually, the people that have handicap placards consider you a sucker for not having a placard. Hurray! Free parking for me, the sailbag! 

***Do I have objections to rigged boat races on San Francisco Bay in general? No, not at all. But instead of us paying a sailbag like Larry Ellison eight or nine figures to host his little boat party here why don’t we reverse that and have sailbag Larry Ellison**** pay us eight or nine figures for the right to host his little boat party here? See how that works? One little oversight like that makes all the difference.

****Speaking of which, here’s what it looks like when Chief Sailbag Larry Ellison hisself comes to town to nosh on the prime rib. See his Toyota LFA there parked on Van Ness?

Welcome to San Francisco, you sailbag you.

Warning: “The Next 911 is Coming” – Oh, It’s Just a Porsche Ad – Plus, Parking the Busted Panamera on Geary Blvd.

Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Bad form, Porsche:

Hey, why not change the name back to 901, you know, kick it old school?

Porsche, go forth and sin no more.

Now, you know how many aging Hondas and Toyotas fill up this town? Tens of thousands. And yet, you never see old Hondas or Toyotas parked in the middle of Geary “Avenue” blocking traffic, oh no.

But if you have a brand new Porsche Panamera, feel free:

Via The Tens – click to expand

Bad form, Porsche driver