The San Francisco Citizen

A brief contest to find the schlockiest gift item available in central San Francisco yesterday resulted with a clear winner - a USB Humping Dog. According to the helpful sign:

“Does as names suggests when plugged into USB laptop port.”

And it’s only $11.50, per the Ichiban Kan Web Team. This goes to show that 241 Yelp commenters can’t be wrong.

Don’t click to expand.

Remember:

“I will keep humping until disconnected.”

Available in Husky, Akita and Doberman. Collect them all!

Here’s the problem: You become famous and then everybody wants to use your image to sell stuff, whether you (and your agent) get paid or not.

Check out this large poster used to promote the idea of wearing “PEARLS” that just happens to right outside a jewelry store on Post Street called Miseki. Is this shot from an ad campaign, or did somebody Photoshop a red-carpet paparazzi photo?

Either way, poor Angelina might not be getting her fair share of the cut. Sadly, Kiera Knightly’s visage is similarly being used by the same store.

The perils of fame!

This salesman shilling subscriptions to the actual dead tree paper version of the New York Times didn’t seem to get much traction during an otherwise bustling street fair in San Francisco over the weekend.

Something like 75% off and free New York Mets swag wasn’t enough to tempt the typical passerby. Perhaps if he could promise that a fetching scooter rider, such as this one, would deliver the paper each day, things would be different…

Cue tumbleweeds.

Who is to blame for the decline of newspapers? Is it San Francisco’s very own Craig Newmark and his feisty CEO buddy Jim Buckmaster? Well, you old-school newsies should be tickled pink to hear that the people behind craigslist are now worried about being taken over by eBay.

Not much consolation, but there it is.