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You see what happens is that sometimes people who, you know, don’t qualify to live in a federal housing project are tempted to park their rides on federal propertah, you know, within half a click of City Hall.
So what happens is you end up with a sign like this one: “RESIDENTIAL PARKING ONLY – OTHERS WILL BE TOWED”
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Q. Hey, how does with square with TRANSIT FIRST?
A. It doesn’t, not at all.
IMO, it’s more fun to not explain things, but here we go, let’s pay off that headline:
1. God damn, this trailer is freaking huge – I’ve never seen one bigger. This aint no 20-footer and it aint no 40 footer. It’s a 53-footer. It’s Harder Better Faster Stronger. It’s as big* an 18-wheeler tractor trailer as you’re ever going to see, Gentle Reader.
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2. Now here’s what pisses some people off about San Francisco Day School. These parents enter their kinder into the San Francisco SFUSD school busing program lottery. And, because they don’t already have an older kid already in a good public school AND because they don’t live a “low test score area” (like in parts of The Mission or near The Projects), they lose out in the lottery. So then they say, all right, well, we’ve lost the lottery, but we can simply pony up $27k(!) to put our four-year-old into a private school. But then they have to qualify by being interviewed. And then, sometimes, they get rejected. And then they get seriously pissed off. Anywho, Masonic Avenue / Boulevard is reason #1 why SFDS will never be a high status school (in comparison with the tonier outfits up in
Specific Whites Pacific Heights.) Masonic is how the Jennie Zhus of this world get back and forth betwixt San Francisco Proper and the westside, The Avenues, the West Bay neighborhoods like The Richmond and The Sunset. Masonic, for better or worse, is a freeway substitute and it will always be that way and, for the worse, it’s the front door of SFDS. These days there’s a plan afoot to put in trees and a median that will slow down all the cars and the occasional MUNI bus, but that won’t really change things for SFDS. All the parents and nannies will still double park on neighboring streets, oh well. Look at the photo and there it is, the SFDS.
3. Oh man, the millionaire property owners of the lily-white “NOPNA” Northeast of Panhandle Homeowners Association DID NOT want to see those, those people shopping at a retail store up at Geary and Masonic again, oh no, but that’s what’s happening despite their best efforts. I myself didn’t object to the CityTarget, you know, but even I’m a little surprised to see such a big rig heading up Mervyn’s Heights with the Target targets on the side.
Of course, all of the above was implied by the simple photo and short headline…
*Unless you move to Texas, and even then…
**Who’s getting interviewed, really, the parents or the kid? IDK. I’ll tell you, I bet if Will Smith tried to get his kid into this joint, there’d be no problem, no problem at all. But if you don’t impress SFDS enough to get a green light, you’re money’s no good there.
[UPDATE: Kevin Montgomery of Uptown Almanac reacts.]
[UPDATE II: The Twitter-stream of one @kylekirchhoff just went private. C'mon, Bro! You gotta engage with the peeps. Today is your big day. It's not that incrimernating, is it? Bro discusses how much he doesn't like Twitter, McAfee Antivirus Inc, and how many people got shot on a MUNI #14 last year. You know, all the usual stuff. But I'll tell you, withdrawing from Web 2.0 is what criminales do, right? You're just a bro with a bus. Nothing wrong with that.]
[UPDATE III: Aaron Sankin of Huffington Post San Francisco weighs in.]
[UPDATE IV: And now Ellen Huet of the San Francisco Chronicle:
John Avalos, a supervisor who has fought against private companies use of Muni stops, called Kirchhoff’s comments “very disingenuous.”
“What a crock of s—,” Avalos said. “How does blocking a Muni stop make the city more efficient? You’re trying to make money, and you’re creating a two-tiered transportation system in San Francisco.”]
I’ll tell you, I’ve been waiting years for a MUNI alternative to pop up and look, it’s here.
Now I’m not talking about the corporate buses (like Google, Apple, FaceBook and so on) that have been around for a decade or so, and I’m not talking about Uber, Lyft, Sidecar and the like and I’m not even talking about the private version of the taxpayer-subsidized Twitter Express, the 83X.
It looks like this, as seen just yesterday:
Here’s what the site looks like:
See that? The bus comes with WiFi and leather seats, but they cost three times as much as MUNI. And I’m supposing you and your wheelchair would be better off on MUNI, just a guess. And, oh yes, you pretty much need an Apple iPhone (or as close an iOS device as possible) to climb aboard.
Now you’d think the MSM would be all over this new company, but no. So far, Leap has escaped notice, except from this bloke called Stilgherrian from Down Under. (Uh, he’s _not_ a fan. I haven’t seen a booting like this since Bart vs. Australia)
“This little blue bus symbolises everything that is wrong with the current bubble and boom of internet startup culture. It’s in San Francisco. It belongs to Leap Transit. And, on May 13, this “better bus” — OMFG, it has leather seats and wi-fi! — began operating as part of what’s billed as a “shuttle service for San Francisco commuters.”
Bonus bon mot:
“This socialized [x] is slow and unprofitable. Let’s start a [x] for rich people that pays its employees less.”
Leave there be no doubt, Leap Transit is a wannabe MUNI disrupter. See?
So far, reaction around town has been mixed.
I don’t know, if the 30X just passed you by ’cause it’s raining and you see a Leap bus coming at you and you have an iPhone and you’re already signed up, well then Leap just might be worth the six bucks.
All the deets:
Every time you ride with leap, your credit card will be charged $6.00 automatically upon entering the bus. You…
Our shuttles flow downtown in the morning, and uptown in the evening. You can get on at any of the stops desig…
We’d love to. We’re expanding as rapidly as possible. If you’d like us to add service to your area, please sug…
Leap runs on weekdays during commuter hours. That’s from 7:00 AM to 10:00 AM and from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM.
We currently only support iPhone, but we will be supporting other platforms very soon.
We do not currently have a way to have your employer cover the tab. But it is something we’re working on.
I guess I know why the SFMTA, America’s worst and slowest large transit agency, wants to spend millions and millions of taxpayer dollars to improve its image. So it will then be able to obtain and spend even more of our money, of course.
But I’m mystified as to the thought process behind its marketing.
For example, here’s a happy meter maid saying, ”I am a single mom working to send my child to private school. I am SFMTA.”
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So the San Francisco Unified School District is that bad, huh?
(TRIGGER WARNING, Lookism: And she’s not a model, she’s a Real Person, an actual DPT Parking Control Officer? Latina/a, just a guess. Very attractive/appealing, huh? How did she get selected? Does someone at at the SFMTA’s in-house agency thumb through a bunch of PCO headshots saying, ” …pooch, dog, I-don’t-think-so, oh-now-here-we-go?” Is that how it works, something along those lines? Funny that, SFMTA.)
If I were the SFMTA, I’d take this ad down and never run it again.
If I were the SFMTA…
Actually, if I were the SFMTA, I’d stop lying to people.
I’d say, “The Central Subway is mostly about pork barrel spending.”
If I were the SFMTA…
That proposed CityPlace mall has a new name and they’ve just started working on getting it built.
“…its name has been changed to Market Street Place, reflecting how even this blighted part of San Francisco’s main thoroughfare...”
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This is all new. The whitewash went up on Monday, I think, and now we have the ads what say SHOPPING PLACE and whatnot.
This is what it will look like, without the homeless and the criminals and the iPhone fences and the drug dealers milling around out front:
The mall has it all. Actually, it’s a mall like any other from Anytown, USA. (Boy, John King is going to looooooove this, huh?)
All right, now let’s all thank the Carlyle Group for helping us out:
“The following is a list of both current and former employees and advisors.
Here’s the sad story from the dude what lost his stuff at the Subway Sandwiches on Polk and Sutter:
“(3/25/2012) I was in the Subway sandwiches place at 1199 Sutter at Polk and then walked outside to get a taxi for some people I was with. I had accidentally left my phone and wallet on the table. When I returned about 30 seconds later my stuff was gone. Here is the surveillance video of who took it. Please message me or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you recognize her.”
Now, I say girls, I mean, I can’t tell how old they are, something betwixt 14 and 24. They act like high school students AFAIAC.